DEAR ABBY: My mom got married about four months ago, and although it has been only a short time, it's all gone haywire. Her husband has an awful temper, and he's hit her several times. We have even had to leave our own home to get away from him because he is so brutal. Yet my mom keeps going back to him.

I begged her to get the police involved, but she wouldn't. Finally one night, after he had broken her wrist and thrown me out of a chair, he left. We didn't hear from him for three days. Then he came back during the night and tried to break in. My sister called the police and we had three weeks of freedom until my mom dropped the charges against him. My siblings and I were scared and angry, yet Mom brought him back on my sister's birthday.

Now that my stepdad is living with us again, I am scared, and I don't want to live with my mom if she's going to let him stay here. My dad died, so I can't live with him. I have considered running away, but I would like to know -- is there a better way? Please help me. -- NOWHERE TO TURN IN ARIZONA

DEAR NOWHERE: You appear to be intelligent and strong, and deserve to be commended for seeking advice from an adult. You should not have to run away in order to get away from your stepfather.

There are two ways to handle this: The first would be to go to a teacher or counselor at your school and repeat what you have told me. It may be easier to clip this letter and take it with you.

Should your stepfather become violent before you can talk to a trusted adult at your school, you and your siblings should get out of the house and go to a neighbor's home to call for help. Ask the telephone operator to connect you to the 24-hour Child Protective Services Hotline. It is staffed seven days a week and will send the police to remove you to a safe place.

Please write again and let me know how you are. Meanwhile, you are in my prayers.

DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from Andrea Ryner, writing on behalf of her friend who had recently lost his eyesight, I was reminded of "Abe" -- a man in our town.

Abe is retired now, but for years he made his living doing small-engine repairs on outboard motors, power saws, lawnmowers and the like. He did expert work, and some of the customers who brought items to his shop never realized that Abe was blind.

Some years back, he went into the woods to gather some special bark. He knew exactly where he was and what he was doing, but he was gone somewhat longer than usual. Some friends became worried and reported him missing. An informal search party was sent out, and one of its members encountered Abe in the woods. They exchanged greetings and Abe joined in the search for the "poor lost guy." About an hour later, it was mentioned that the man they were looking for was blind. Only then did Abe realize that the person he was helping to search for was himself!

There's no doubt that Abe was gifted in his ability to her, feel and think, and this story proves that while we rely heavily on vision -- in its absence, other senses can compensate. -- DORCAS PEARSON, HOQUIAM, WASH.

DEAR DORCAS: Abe is obviously a remarkable man who has managed to focus on his abilities rather than his disability. More power to him.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am the happily married mother of two teen-agers.

Something disturbing has happened recently. I find myself attracted to my daughter's boyfriend. He is 19 and I am 46.

I'm no "Mrs. Robinson," and I would never reveal how I feel. When he's here, I behave in nothing but an adult, motherly manner. However, my thoughts and fantasies about him are far from "motherly." This has bothered me for months.

This has never happened before. I know I have to cope with it like anyone else with a secret crush, but I feel like such a fool.

Am I abnormal? Have you ever heard of a mom falling for a kid the age of her children? Please don't make fun of me; I feel silly enough already. And please don't even mention which state this letter came from. -- SMITTEN

DEAR SMITTEN: You are not abnormal, and yes, I have heard of women falling for men the age of their children. I suspect there are many adults (of both sexes) who have found themselves attracted to their children's friends, but would never admit it.

The important consideration is not that you have these feelings, but that you neither reveal nor act on them. As long as your fantasies remain fantasies, they are harmless.

DEAR ABBY: I recently read the letter from "Troubled Tourist," who asked, "Aren't there more options for a single person than cruises that penalize one for traveling alone?" He wanted to travel alone or as part of a group, but pay a single rate and have a private room.

Abby, to give the lowest price to those who are coupled is outrageous! It is akin to saying married is good and single is bad. It is cruel to imply that, when more than 75 million people are divorced, widowed or never married.

I can afford to pay for a cruise, and can afford to travel to Europe alone, but in this couples' world, it is still sometimes painful. I refuse to pay that exorbitantly higher rip-off price for traveling alone! It's time travel agents and hotels wised up and realized they are losing a tremendous amount of business. If condominiums and apartment buildings can accommodate the needs of singles, then so can cruise ships and hotels. -- ELEANOR CARLSON, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR ELEANOR: Meeting the needs of the single traveler may be an idea whose time has come. Many travel agents wrote to offer roommates, singles cruises and discounted rates to "Troubled Tourist," but that was not his question. Perhaps the answer to traveling alone inexpensively is to check several travel sources and plan creatively. Bon voyage!

DEAR ABBY: What is the advantage, and to whom, of an envelope with a window in it?

Half the time, I get my reply in backward, and I'm sure that my wasted time is typical. Who benefits? -- GERALD STROHM, FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR GERALD: You do. It takes only a moment to ensure that your reply is placed in the envelope correctly. It would take more time to address an envelope. With a window envelope, there is no chance of making an error in the name and address.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was appalled at the arrogance of the teacher who recently wrote, "I have never met a parent who can give his/her children the quality of education I can offer." Does she really believe she can adequately assess my child's needs and give my child a better education in a class filled with 25 other students than I can give on a one-to-one basis?

The National Home Education Institute has recently released data that indicate home-educated students typically score in the 85th percentile on standardized tests. These results are achieved by students whose parents are often not certified teachers and who have spent, on average, $546 per child per year to educate them. The county in which I live recently reported spending $4,791 per student per year and cannot boast equivalent standardized test scores.

I have been a home-school mom for five years and have seen remarkable results in the home-school community. A recent example: A young man who achieved a perfect score on his SATs and was eagerly accepted into the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. -- PATRICIA A. BERNHAUSEN, RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR PATRICIA: In recent months I have published letters from home-schooled children and educators. Your letter is one of a tidal wave of articulate letters from parents rising to defend home-schooling. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If every teacher could give the "quality education" the one teacher in California claims to give, there might not be a need for parents to teach their children at home. Obviously, when children graduate and can't read, the system has failed. Home-schooling a child is about more than hoping the child receives a good education. It's about safety, instilling the basics of reading, writing and arithmetic, and as a Christian, teaching biblical values.

One reason we don't send our children to school is because of the retired teacher in Florida. His values are not our values. He writes, "Parents should examine the teaching materials ... to make sure they are compatible with their own beliefs." Abby, we ARE familiar with the material. We know what our beliefs are, and we intend to pass them on to our children, who are well-behaved, courteous, intelligent and interact well with others.

Parents who make the enormous sacrifice to teach their children at home can offer them an education that will far surpass any they could receive in a public school. Home-schooling is not for everyone, but if you're concerned with the education your child is receiving, then it's something to consider. -- MELISA SHREVE, QUINLAN, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Unbiased research by such respected institutions as Harvard and the University of Michigan to evaluate the results of home-schooling indicates that home-taught students fare better than their public education peers. Reader's Digest reported these findings in an article published several years ago.

While I don't believe that all parents would do an adequate job of educating their own children, many can. And the vast majority of home-schooling parents are proving it. It makes me wonder what those who are condemning us are afraid of. -- RHONDA RANDALL, CINCINNATI

DEAR RHONDA: Approximately 1.23 million American children are being taught at home. Several home-schooling parents mailed me an interesting study provided by the Home School Legal Defense Association, titled "Home Education Across the United States." Its research represents the largest and most comprehensive study on home-schooling ever done -- data collected on 5,402 students during the 1994-95 and 1995-96 academic years. Those readers interested in ordering a copy should send $2 to: Home School Legal Defense Association, P.O. Box 3000, Purcellville, Va. 20134. The Internet address is www.hslda.org.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)