DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for a year. My ex and I are no longer speaking. I recently found our wedding album. What should I do with it?

I'm thinking of keeping it because it contains fun pictures from my past. Or perhaps I'll send it to her parents because the wedding was held in their home. Any ideas? -- MICHAEL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR MICHAEL: Call and ask your former in-laws if they'd like to have the album. If they say yes, make a copy of the pictures you would like to keep and send the album to them. If the answer is no, keep the album for yourself. But don't be surprised if your next wife prefers that you keep it out of sight or in storage.

DEAR ABBY As the author of three wedding books, I was truly appalled at how "Happy to Lose the Lottery's" co-worker handled informing her that she was not to be invited to her wedding.

Brides often ask me how to handle letting people know that they won't be invited to the wedding. I always suggest that, whatever the reason, they tell people in person (or over the phone or in a written note) that although they would love to invite them, there are reasons why they can't. They can say, "We're going off to our cabin in Wisconsin for a private ceremony," or as was stated in the first half of the message that "Happy" received, "Due to the physical nature of the wedding space, there will not be enough space for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to invite."

In fact, that bride was on the right track in the message she sent -- and if that had been ALL she'd said, I doubt "Happy to Lose" would have been so upset. But to create a "lottery" and then inform people that they were "losers" was really uncalled for. And then to tell someone to send a gift, for which he or she would be thanked "in absentia," was truly over the top. -- LEAH INGRAM, NEW HOPE, PA.

DEAR LEAH: You put it far more politely than most of the people who responded to that item. However, some readers not only were offended at the idea of the lottery, they also found the format of the announcement offensive. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If I had received an e-mail from "Elmer" and "Gladys" announcing that I had lost their "lottery" and that I would be thanked for my anticipated gift "in absentia," I would have sent the following form letter in return:

DEAR FRIENDS: We were thrilled to learn of your significant life event through your announcement, invitation, letter, phone call or e-mail. We offer our heartfelt congratulations on your engagement, marriage, birth of your child, new home, anniversary, birthday, confirmation or graduation, or any of these accomplishments on the part of any of your children. How happy and proud you must be!

We must inform you that we have chosen to live an extravagant lifestyle even beyond our already affluent means. Unfortunately, this leaves us with no money to buy gifts for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to honor on their special occasions. Therefore, you will not be receiving any gift from us, other than our good wishes. -- DORENE IN L.A.

P.S. Tasteless is as tasteless does!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This letter is for "Manny in Las Vegas," who wanted to buy a computer for his grandson but his wife argued against it. She felt he wouldn't need one until he was ready for college. She couldn't be more wrong.

I am the mother of three children, two of them in high school. Students today use computers to write papers, just like we used typewriters when we were in school. My two high schoolers use our computer two or three nights a week to complete their homework assignments. In fact, their high school requires that the students complete a keyboarding course as a requirement for graduation.

Computers are part of our children's future. The younger they learn how to use them, the easier it will be for them. -- SUSAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SUSAN: I agree that young children are "wired" to learn more easily than adults. They are also less likely to be technophobic. (Ask anyone who has had to ask his or her children how to program the VCR!) Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 years old. When I was 10, my parents bought the family a computer. I have loved every minute of it. I have my own Web page, but I also have time for school, family and friends. If Manny's wife thinks the computer is a bad idea for their grandson, she should look at me! -- MELISSA IN PHOENIX

DEAR MELISSA: You're right, and you're also an articulate young lady. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from the grandfather who wanted to buy his grandson a computer. I had the same idea, but I held off buying a computer until my son entered -- kindergarten!

When he was in first grade and needed reading assistance, I bought reading-oriented programs that he looked forward to using, then math, then science and also spelling. He was able to play educational games on the computer because we held out until last year to buy him video games (although all of his friends had a set). My son is in the third grade now, and our computer is, of course, outdated, but I am very happy with our decision.

It was not necessary for him to have a home computer, because his school has a computer class, and even at 6, my son would help his dad negotiate our computer. I hear from friends with older children that they do quite a bit of their homework assignments or research on their home computers.

In my opinion, computers would be an enhancement for a child of any age, and the grandfather should purchase one for his grandson. -- AMBER IN OVILLA, TEXAS

DEAR AMBER: I have a stack of letters on my desk from people of all ages who agree with you. Computer literacy has become a necessary survival skill -- although like any other technology, children's use of it should be supervised by the parents.

DEAR READERS: If I could give young people only one piece of advice, it would be: read, read, read!

In reading, you will open up new worlds, real and imagined. Read for information, read for pleasure. Our libraries are filled with knowledge and joy, and it's all there -- free for the taking.

The person who does not read is no better off than the person who CANNOT read.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow and the mother of 10 children. I live in an older house that occasionally needs repairs. My children refuse to do work around my house and suggest I sell it or hire a handyman. Handymen are not easy to find for small jobs, and I like where I live and do not want to move.

I was very good to my own mother and did her every bidding. My children say children don't do that anymore. All I ask is that each one give me one or two days a year. They are good to me in many other ways, but as long as I'm on a roll, I wish they'd ask me out to dinner more often.

Do children have any responsibility toward older parents? I promise to abide by your reply. If I am wrong, I'll never mention it again. -- "SIS" THE NAG, HICKORY HILLS, ILL.

DEAR "SIS": Of course children have a responsibility toward their parents. However, what that means may differ from family to family, and should be mutually agreed upon by everyone concerned. It appears that your children are living busy, complicated lives. If they won't listen to you, Sis, they're not likely to listen to me either. That means you may have to solve this problem without their help.

You would be wise to listen more closely to what your children are trying to say to you. Since you are unable to keep your house in good repair by yourself, perhaps it IS time to sell it and move to a condominium or an assisted-living facility for active seniors. It would solve BOTH of your problems because a staff maintains the premises, and there is also a pool of people with whom to socialize without having to depend on your children. Please don't nix it until you have thoroughly checked out what is available in your area.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 32-year-old mother of two, and yes, I am married. This is my second marriage, and we've been together for seven long years. My husband is a drunk. He does work two jobs, but when he's home on the weekends, he stays drunk.

At first, I didn't mind being the adult. (I thought it was my job.) But it has gotten really old, and I'm tired of it.

I know that if I leave, my husband will make it hard on me, and he'll tell the kids more than they should know. They are 11 and 5. The kids have seen and been through enough already. How can I leave if he's going to put the children through this? I'm not sure how this should be handled. -- STUCK IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

DEAR STUCK: Your husband appears to be what is called a "functional alcoholic." Before you do anything else, attend some meetings of Al-Anon. Al-Anon, an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous, assists spouses and families of alcoholics and is listed in the telephone book -- or you can call directory assistance for the number. There you will find people like yourself who may be able to help you change the way you react to your husband's problem. It could save your marriage.

If the marriage is really over, before you leave, explain to your children what is coming and the fact that their father is going to be angry about it and will say things that are untrue and that he doesn't really mean. Reinforce that message as necessary.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)