DEAR ABBY: Since it's the holiday season, your readers might enjoy the encounter I had with a last-minute holiday shopper years ago.

It was five minutes before closing time on Christmas Eve. I worked in the lingerie department of a major St. Louis department store. The regular employees were balancing and closing their cash registers, so I was the only seasonal employee left on the floor. As the closing announcement was sounding, my supervisor directed me to wait on a young man who had hurriedly entered the department.

To each of my questions regarding cost, size, style or color, his reply was, "Doesn't matter. Just one of everything that amounts to $200." I then selected panties, slip, nightgown and a negligee in medium sizes and neutral colors. After boxing the items and ringing up the sale, I wished him a happy holiday and hoped that his wife would like the gifts.

He replied: "Doesn't matter. She'll return them unopened; she just wants to see the sales receipt to see how much I spent on her."

Abby, the entire transaction took 15 minutes and gave me a humorous story to tell my waiting family. The gifts I received that year were praised to the skies and not one was returned. A lesson learned. -- SHIRLEY IN CAPE CORAL, FLA.

DEAR SHIRLEY: Thank you for sharing. More than a few people can benefit from that lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I liked the letter from "Knowing in the Northwest" regarding depression. However, I wish you had made the point that there is a difference between emotional depression, which usually happens in response to an unfortunate event (such as death or divorce), and biochemical depression, which is often genetic and usually requires medication to be fully treated.

The misunderstanding about the differences between these two conditions is widespread.

I have had polar depression for more than 30 years. I am doing well on medication and am very grateful for this. However, I am tired of people who do not understand that there is such a thing as biochemical depression.

People repeatedly ask what is depressing me. When I reply that I am not depressed ABOUT anything, and that the problem is biochemical, they insist that isn't possible. These same people understand that diabetics need to take insulin because their bodies do not produce or properly use it. Why can't they comprehend that there are people who need antidepressants because their bodies are lacking a chemical?

Abby, please do all of us who suffer from polar depression or bipolar depression a great service by informing the public that some forms of depression are purely medical in origin. Anyone who thinks otherwise is stuck in the misinformed thinking of 20 years ago, when getting in touch with your feelings was thought to cure all emotional ailments. I tried that. It simply didn't work for polar depression. -- ALSO KNOWING IN SUNNYVALE, CALIF.

DEAR ALSO KNOWING: I agree there is much confusion about emotional depression and biochemical depression. However, after reading your letter, I'm sure there will be much less confusion. You have explained the difference very well.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a medical student near graduation. In my admittedly brief experience in the local hospitals, I have already seen the damage alcohol and drugs can wreak on a life and the many relationships it poisons. Too often it takes a dramatic, life-threatening and socially costly event to provide a patient "insight" into his problem.

In June 2000, I will receive my medical license. I wrote the following in the selfish hope that it will keep me from having to deliver this bitter news, even for just one night. The words in quotes are my spoken words. The words in parentheses are what I'm really thinking. -- HEALER IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR HEALER: The short essay you have written is sobering and thought-provoking. I hope its message will reach those who need to heed it -- and remind them to set limits on the amount they imbibe. Read on:

"I realize you must be upset, Mrs. ____." (But you can only imagine how frustrated I am by this daily occurrence.)

"I am calling to inform you of your son's admission to the hospital." (Where we still haven't figured out why people do this to themselves.)

"As I understand it, the paramedics were called" (to a party where no one was sober enough to explain what happened) "and were required to administer CPR in order to revive your son's heart." (While his friends continued their drunken reveling, undisturbed.)

"He is currently on a machine to assist in his ventilation." (Because he drank so much he stopped breathing.)

"His brain suffered a significant period of anoxia." (And if he ever wakes up, he can never have his life back.)

"His condition is serious, but he is receiving expert care." (I wish I could tell you just how worried you should be!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a strict Catholic who does not believe in "kinky" activities. It was my second date with a seemingly conservative gentleman. Everything was going well, so I felt comfortable holding hands with him -- until he proceeded to stick my pointer-finger in his mouth. We had just come from dinner, so he couldn't possibly have been hungry!

What are your thoughts on this situation? -- SHOCKED IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR SHOCKED: It could have been worse. At least he wasn't a thumb-sucker.

Never do anything you're not comfortable doing. There are men out there who will respect you just the way you are. If he's not for you, fix him up with a nail-biter. They'll think they died and went to heaven.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: On my way to work today, I followed a pickup truck with a beautiful husky dog in the back. As we sped along, he moved anxiously from one side of the truck to the other. Suddenly, the dog jumped out, hit the pavement and began tumbling out of control. I was driving a full-size van at 60 mph. I slammed on the brakes and was able to keep from running over the poor animal.

I pulled off the road and saw the dog had gotten up and was hobbling across the grassy median toward oncoming traffic. Fortunately, I was able to coax the animal into my arms and I held him until the driver of the pickup returned. I will never forget his stupid explanation: "Why, he has never done this before!" It took all my willpower to keep from smacking the driver up against the side of his head.

Please, Abby, pass this story on to everyone. If just one person reads it and decides to keep his or her pet inside the cab with them, it will have been worth it. -- JOHN C., DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR JOHN: Thank you for an important letter. Not only should pets not be allowed to ride in the back of a pickup truck, neither should human beings. As your story illustrates, animals can be unpredictable. And should the driver get into an accident, there is absolutely no protection for the passengers in the back.

DEAR ABBY: I go to garage sales every Saturday and generally come across some interesting items. I found the enclosed "Death Cookbook Recipe" in a set of cards from 1966, put together by the Missouri Avenue Baptist Church, Clearwater, Fla. It is amazing that 30 years later, the problem still exists.

If you feel it is worth sharing with your readers, please print it. I found it very interesting. -- BARBARA CONDON, MATTITUCK, N.Y.

DEAR BARBARA: It's definitely worth printing, particularly during the holiday season when people are "partying." Read on:

DEATH'S COOKBOOK

Take: 1 reckless, natural-born fool

3 drinks of whiskey

1 fast automobile

Soak the fool in the whiskey, place in the automobile, then let go.

After due time, remove from the wreckage. Place in a satin box and garnish with flowers.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I just moved to Michigan from a Southern state because of his job. I had to leave mine, and I want to find new employment here. However, I am 17 weeks pregnant.

If I interview for a job, should I tell my prospective employer of my pregnancy then, or wait until I receive an offer? I am not showing yet. -- NEEDS TO KNOW ASAP

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You are not required by law to inform prospective employers that you are pregnant. If they withdraw an offer because they learn that you are pregnant, they are in violation of fair employment practices.

If you're 17 weeks pregnant, they are going to see soon enough. Enjoy your "New Millennium" baby!

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)