DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle when I read the letter from "J.D. in California," who said she enjoyed "parking" with her husband. Your answer was right on when you advised that it is against the law in most places.

My husband and I also suffered from the "same old routine" boredom. We found a great spot to park and just as things were really heating up, my husband looked out the window and spied a deputy sheriff's car pulling to a stop.

Thank goodness the young officer was sensitive. He gave us time to get our clothes back on before approaching the car. He checked our IDs and ran the car's plates. He told us that he and his wife had been busted for parking before they were married, apologized for disturbing us and went on his way. We always think fondly of him, because he could have arrested us.

We can laugh about it now. However, we are more careful about where we spice things up these days. -- ADVENTUROUS IN MATTOON, ILL.

DEAR ADVENTUROUS: Other couples who consider steaming up the car windows should take that advice to heart.

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to the woman who regained her interest in sex by parking with her husband was good as far as it went. She may like "danger," but she may also NOT like sex in the workplace, which is what her home has become for her -- a place where she's expected to behave with wanton abandon on sheets she has washed, in a bed she has made and under which there may be dust she needs to clean.

I was determined to prove this to my husband, so I showed up at his office wearing nothing but a trench coat and spike heels. To my surprise, he eagerly locked the door and performed right there on the desk. That's when I realized that men think differently than women. -- NOW SEPARATED IN SUNNYVALE, CALIF.

DEAR SEPARATED: Vive la difference!

DEAR ABBY: I got a "memory charge" out of the letter from the woman who enjoys intimate relations in public places. On my 34th birthday many years ago, my husband promised to make me feel "half my age." We had a lovely dinner, saw a good movie, and on the way home, he drove into a dark parking lot where we proceeded to make out like the dickens! Sure enough, as promised, I felt like I was 17 again! Thanks for letting me share. -- LUCKY "TEEN" WIFE, OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR LUCKY: You're welcome. Times marches on, but some "instincts" appear to be timeless.

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from the wife who found a cure for her lagging libido by parking with her husband, I ran to read it to my husband. We both laughed because it could have been written by us!

We've been married 19 years, and a few years ago my libido began losing its "spark." We discovered that parking helped. We also found that when our budget allows, a hotel room for a night works, too. And it's a lot safer than a parking lot.

I'm glad you told her there was nothing "wrong," and I'd like to add that she should feel fortunate they discovered a remedy that didn't require the hours and cost of therapy. -- HAPPY IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR HAPPY: Right on! There's nothing like "do it yourself"!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Throughout the year, my husband and I host parties in our home for his office staff. Invariably, we get several "maybes" in response to the RSVP on our invitations. To prepare for these parties, I must shop for food and beverages, spend time in the kitchen cooking, clean my home from top to bottom and arrange for a baby sitter.

"Maybe" is not a suitable answer! When an RSVP is requested, invitees should respond promptly, arrive on time, leave at a decent hour and follow up with a thank-you note -- or at least call their hosts.

Abby, are you with me on this, or am I expecting too much? The inconsideration of some people baffles me. -- TICKED OFF IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TICKED OFF: I'm with you. To respond to an invitation with "maybe" is extremely rude. It translates as, "I'll come if I have nothing better to do."

The next time you receive a "maybe" in response to an invitation, reply, "I'll take that as a 'no' -- unless I hear otherwise 48 hours before the event."

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "At the End of My Rope," whose 76-year-old grandmother ignores advice about her health.

First, I would recommend that she call Grandma's primary care physician to make sure he or she is aware of the family's concerns and of all her medications. Second, one of the children should go with her on the next medical visit to hear what the doctor has to say. (Having another set of ears at a doctor's visit is a real benefit.)

Third, is there a specialist in geriatrics in the area? Perhaps Grandma needs an evaluation to see if there is something else wrong or if the medicines are interacting in a negative way. Fourth, there are medication boxes available to help people manage their dosage. Fifth, all of her medications should be written down and posted on the refrigerator with the times they are to be taken.

Changing a person's eating habits may be difficult, but medicine is a different story. Many people go to a number of doctors and do not tell each doctor what they are taking. Drug interaction can be a real problem. Also, the grandchild should talk to a counselor to reduce her feelings of guilt. -- BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for your informative letter. I'm sure it will be helpful to many readers who find themselves in similar circumstances.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl with a big problem. There's a popular girl in my class who tells me that everything I like is evil, and that I shouldn't like this or that because when I die I will go to hell.

She thinks liking rock stars, reading fantasy books and watching "The Osbournes" on MTV is sinful.

She goes on and on about what the Bible says, and that the music, books and people I like are all evil. I respect what she likes, and I think she should respect what I like, too. What do you think, Abby? -- "PUT DOWN" IN OREGON

DEAR "PUT DOWN": I agree with you. You may be only 12, but there's wisdom between your ears.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Will Operation Dear Abby be accepting cards and letters this year? I am hoping to use it as a service project for my church youth group. Writing holiday messages to our servicemen and women is one of the best gifts that anyone -- any age -- can give this year. Thanks, Abby. -- ALLISON NAHR, ARLINGTON, VA.

DEAR ALLISON: Your question is a timely one because the following letter just arrived from the Department of Defense. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: For more than 17 years, you have brought good will and cheer to members of the armed forces through your column. During the holiday season, you solicited patriotic Americans to send cards and letters to servicemembers stationed away from home and families. Your Operation Dear Abby program brought support and comfort to thousands of troops posted overseas, embarked upon ships or on operational deployments far from home.

Unfortunately, as world events have shown, those who would do harm to Americans and their guardians will exploit any opportunity. The mail-related attacks of last year demonstrated the vulnerability of the postal system for use in terror-related actions. Although "Any Servicemember" card and letter programs such as Operation Dear Abby were established to boost morale, they also allow for the introduction of mail into the military postal system from unknown sources, creating a threat to the very forces the program supported.

Upon consultation with all branches of the armed services, Any Servicemember programs, including your own, were suspended indefinitely in October 2001. This suspension is still in effect.

HOWEVER: Please inform your readers that due to the overwhelming popularity of such morale-boosting programs, and in cooperation with the Department of Defense, your Internet alternative, www.OperationDearAbby.net, will continue to allow patriotic Americans to send messages of support to military members via e-mail.

Your Web site is safe, secure and accessible for all members of the armed forces deployed worldwide. -- EDWARD A. PARDINI, DEPUTY DIRECTOR, MILITARY POSTAL SERVICE AGENCY, DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE

So, Allison, as you can see, although it is still not possible to send cards and letters through Operation Dear Abby using the postal system, a faster and easier alternative is available on the Internet, OperationDearAbby.net, and I'm sure your church youth group will enjoy it.

And for the rest of my Dear Readers, if there is a message in your hearts you would like to convey to our heroic servicemen and women stationed worldwide during this holiday season, now's the time! All your good wishes will be relayed by the Department of Defense to our troops via www.OperationDearAbby.net, a secure military site that serves all branches of the armed forces year-round.

Christmas and New Year's are just around the corner. So, fire up those computers, type in www.OperationDearAbby.net and show our troops how much we support them. If you're not computer-literate, ask a computer-savvy friend to help you send a message. This year, it's more important than ever to show these brave young men and women in the military that they're remembered -- and appreciated -- by the folks back home.

Happy holidays, everyone! -- Love, DEAR ABBY, a.k.a. Jeanne Phillips

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)