Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl in the eighth grade. My problem is a girl in my class. "Angie" thinks she's my best friend. We met in fourth grade, and I felt sorry for her because she didn't have any friends, so I let her hang out with me.

It didn't take long to learn why no one liked her. Angie is insulting, rude, lies, and can't have a conversation without saying something negative about someone else. Avoiding her isn't an option. We live within walking distance of each other, ride the same bus and are involved in many of the same after-school activities.

I have come right out and told Angie to leave me alone, but she thought I was kidding, and I couldn't convince her I was serious. She knows other kids, so I don't see why she can't leave me alone. My friends think it would be a good idea to get her to stop following me around, but no one knows how to tell her to buzz off without being mean.

Please help me, Abby. I want to make the rest of my school year a good one. -- SUPER-ANNOYED EIGHTH GRADER

DEAR SUPER-ANNOYED: Talk to Angie privately. She lacks good judgment. You will be doing her a favor to tell her exactly what you have written me. First list the characteristics you LIKE about her, then list the ones that have made you withdraw. Angie needs to understand so she can modify her behavior. You seem to be a nice young lady. Remember that we all have our faults, and give her room -- and time -- to mature.

DEAR ABBY: A long time ago I promised myself I would wait until I found the right girl before having sex. The "right girl" for me is one who will love me as much as I love her, is easy to talk to, shares similar interests and has respect for herself.

As I get older, I'm finding out that not many girls fill those requirements. I don't date much because every girl I think about going out with, I come to find out has slept with a bunch of guys.

It upsets me that in today's world, sex is no longer viewed as something to be shared between two people in love, but as something that just goes along with casual relationships. When I look at the relationships of my friends, I find they are not happy. Most of them don't trust their partners -- and for good reason. After the first few dates, if I make no moves beyond some heavy kissing, the relationship seems to grow distant. I am now 23 and worried I won't ever find the right girl for me.

Are my expectations too high? -- LOSING HOPE IN SARDIS, OHIO

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Certainly not. It appears you're looking for love in all the wrong places. You won't catch a trout if you're fishing in a herring barrel.

To find a girl whose values mirror your own, an excellent place to look would be a faith-based singles group. Your spiritual adviser can tell you how to find one. I'm sure many young women will appreciate you for who you are once you find them.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY MUSLIM READERS: Happy Id al-Fitr.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle when I read the letter from "J.D. in California," who said she enjoyed "parking" with her husband. Your answer was right on when you advised that it is against the law in most places.

My husband and I also suffered from the "same old routine" boredom. We found a great spot to park and just as things were really heating up, my husband looked out the window and spied a deputy sheriff's car pulling to a stop.

Thank goodness the young officer was sensitive. He gave us time to get our clothes back on before approaching the car. He checked our IDs and ran the car's plates. He told us that he and his wife had been busted for parking before they were married, apologized for disturbing us and went on his way. We always think fondly of him, because he could have arrested us.

We can laugh about it now. However, we are more careful about where we spice things up these days. -- ADVENTUROUS IN MATTOON, ILL.

DEAR ADVENTUROUS: Other couples who consider steaming up the car windows should take that advice to heart.

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to the woman who regained her interest in sex by parking with her husband was good as far as it went. She may like "danger," but she may also NOT like sex in the workplace, which is what her home has become for her -- a place where she's expected to behave with wanton abandon on sheets she has washed, in a bed she has made and under which there may be dust she needs to clean.

I was determined to prove this to my husband, so I showed up at his office wearing nothing but a trench coat and spike heels. To my surprise, he eagerly locked the door and performed right there on the desk. That's when I realized that men think differently than women. -- NOW SEPARATED IN SUNNYVALE, CALIF.

DEAR SEPARATED: Vive la difference!

DEAR ABBY: I got a "memory charge" out of the letter from the woman who enjoys intimate relations in public places. On my 34th birthday many years ago, my husband promised to make me feel "half my age." We had a lovely dinner, saw a good movie, and on the way home, he drove into a dark parking lot where we proceeded to make out like the dickens! Sure enough, as promised, I felt like I was 17 again! Thanks for letting me share. -- LUCKY "TEEN" WIFE, OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR LUCKY: You're welcome. Times marches on, but some "instincts" appear to be timeless.

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from the wife who found a cure for her lagging libido by parking with her husband, I ran to read it to my husband. We both laughed because it could have been written by us!

We've been married 19 years, and a few years ago my libido began losing its "spark." We discovered that parking helped. We also found that when our budget allows, a hotel room for a night works, too. And it's a lot safer than a parking lot.

I'm glad you told her there was nothing "wrong," and I'd like to add that she should feel fortunate they discovered a remedy that didn't require the hours and cost of therapy. -- HAPPY IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR HAPPY: Right on! There's nothing like "do it yourself"!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Throughout the year, my husband and I host parties in our home for his office staff. Invariably, we get several "maybes" in response to the RSVP on our invitations. To prepare for these parties, I must shop for food and beverages, spend time in the kitchen cooking, clean my home from top to bottom and arrange for a baby sitter.

"Maybe" is not a suitable answer! When an RSVP is requested, invitees should respond promptly, arrive on time, leave at a decent hour and follow up with a thank-you note -- or at least call their hosts.

Abby, are you with me on this, or am I expecting too much? The inconsideration of some people baffles me. -- TICKED OFF IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TICKED OFF: I'm with you. To respond to an invitation with "maybe" is extremely rude. It translates as, "I'll come if I have nothing better to do."

The next time you receive a "maybe" in response to an invitation, reply, "I'll take that as a 'no' -- unless I hear otherwise 48 hours before the event."

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "At the End of My Rope," whose 76-year-old grandmother ignores advice about her health.

First, I would recommend that she call Grandma's primary care physician to make sure he or she is aware of the family's concerns and of all her medications. Second, one of the children should go with her on the next medical visit to hear what the doctor has to say. (Having another set of ears at a doctor's visit is a real benefit.)

Third, is there a specialist in geriatrics in the area? Perhaps Grandma needs an evaluation to see if there is something else wrong or if the medicines are interacting in a negative way. Fourth, there are medication boxes available to help people manage their dosage. Fifth, all of her medications should be written down and posted on the refrigerator with the times they are to be taken.

Changing a person's eating habits may be difficult, but medicine is a different story. Many people go to a number of doctors and do not tell each doctor what they are taking. Drug interaction can be a real problem. Also, the grandchild should talk to a counselor to reduce her feelings of guilt. -- BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for your informative letter. I'm sure it will be helpful to many readers who find themselves in similar circumstances.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl with a big problem. There's a popular girl in my class who tells me that everything I like is evil, and that I shouldn't like this or that because when I die I will go to hell.

She thinks liking rock stars, reading fantasy books and watching "The Osbournes" on MTV is sinful.

She goes on and on about what the Bible says, and that the music, books and people I like are all evil. I respect what she likes, and I think she should respect what I like, too. What do you think, Abby? -- "PUT DOWN" IN OREGON

DEAR "PUT DOWN": I agree with you. You may be only 12, but there's wisdom between your ears.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)