Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and I have two questions.

I was shopping with my friend "Crystal," and we saw some guys we know. They're a year or two younger, so I thought they were just being stupid kids when they not-so-subtly tried to get me to flash them.

I'm ashamed to say I played along and lifted my top a little and unintentionally gave them a glimpse of my bra. They kept pestering me for more. It was just annoying until one of them reached for my top and tried to pull it down twice. Then one of them said to grab my arms and hold me down, which two of them did, while another one held Crystal back. They nearly succeeded in removing my top and bra, and more than one of them got a hand down my bra.

Was I at fault for this incident because I encouraged them? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill, or is this kind of thing no big deal? -- HUMILIATED IN SAN BERNARDINO, CALIF.

DEAR HUMILIATED: The answers to your questions are yes and no. Children who play with fire run the risk of being seriously burned. And girls who engage in sexual teasing run a similar risk. That's the lesson you should have learned from this embarrassing and, I'm sure, frightening incident. When you lifted your top, you sent a signal to the boys that you were willing to "play" -- and things got out of hand.

However, whether or not it was intended as horseplay, the boys went too far. Because of that, you should inform your mother and/or dad so they can discuss it with the parents of the boys involved. An authority figure -- preferably a parent -- needs to talk to those boys about the definition of sexual assault and battery, because that's what occurred. Unless they are warned, it will happen again. And next time, the police could be involved.

DEAR ABBY: Every year you discuss practical gifts for senior citizens. When my late second cousin, "Pat," turned 94, she was having serious problems with her vision. She loved corresponding with friends, but could no longer write in a straight line, so her envelopes could not be read correctly by the post office.

I asked a friend if she would create some stationery that my cousin could use; she removed the thread from her sewing machine, and on the back of each sheet of paper "stitched" parallel lines about 1/2 inch apart. I asked her to do the same with the envelopes, but to make only four lines where the address would go.

Cousin Pat loved her beautiful -- and useful -- stationery. Her friends were able to read her handwriting, and so could the U.S. Postal Service. It's easy to write in a straight line when your fingers can feel the tiny "bumps" that the needle makes.

I'm a retired former Braille teacher, and machine-stitching is one of the techniques I would use to make geometry drawings for blind students. (I wonder if banks would permit this on personal checks?)

I hope this idea will help more people with fading eyesight to keep in touch. -- NORMA L. SCHECTER, HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR NORMA: Your idea is innovative, inexpensive and terrific. I hope that readers who use it will be sure to include stamps with the stationery.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I saw the letter you printed from the 79-year-old woman who was concerned about going to her class reunion because she had been very promiscuous back in high school and had bedded about a third of the boys in her class.

When I read the letter to my husband, he looked at me and said, "Did you write that letter?"

Should I hit my husband on the head with my marble rolling pin or trash his golf clubs -- or both? -- HELEN IN TACOMA

DEAR HELEN: None of the above. But if it WERE true, I'd hide the yearbook.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Former Belle of the Ball," the 79-year-old lady who's reluctant to attend her 60th high school reunion.

My siblings and I were all born, reared and educated on the West Coast. One of my baby sisters was popular in high school and wouldn't think of missing a reunion. Sis was, and still is, the girl with the perfect skin, perfect body, perfect career, etc., even after two husbands and four children.

Sis related this story to me after attending her 25th high school reunion. When she made her entrance, not only was there no drum roll or trumpets to announce her arrival, no one recognized her. She later admitted that she didn't recognize any of them, either, name tags and all.

Then something interesting happened. People began approaching Sis's husband, saying, "I remember you!" He's usually socially retiring, but after people persistently ignored his protests, he settled into enjoying being identified by various people as everyone from the quarterback of the football team to the class president. One woman even pointed to a picture in the class almanac and announced, "There you are. I could never forget you!"

None of those people could possibly have known him from high school. My brother-in-law was born, raised and educated on the East Coast.

Frankly, I think that someone showing up at a 60th class reunion would be tickled to see ANYONE from the graduating class, even if he or she didn't recognize the person. I hope she followed your advice and went. -- COLLEEN IN FAIR OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR COLLEEN: So do I. As your sister's experience demonstrates, the one thing that a person attending any class reunion should never be without is a sense of humor.

DEAR ABBY: I hope you are going to give us the follow-up story of the 79-year-old woman who slept with two-thirds of the boys in her high school class and everyone knew it. Did she go to the reunion? What happened? You owe it to your readers. -- RICHARD P., WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR RICHARD: One of the frustrating aspects of my job is not always knowing how things turn out. If I had to make a guess, I'd say she probably went and was voted most popular girl at the reunion.

"Former Belle of the Ball" -- if you see this column, Please let us know. Your fan club is waiting.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Drew," is almost 19. My problem is I found sex toys under his bed. He has had a steady girlfriend, "Lindy, for a year. I have questioned them about their closeness. He says they've "fooled around" a little, but Lindy wants to wait until marriage for sex. I told Drew when he first started seeing Lindy to take it slow and not to pressure her.

My son and Lindy spend a lot of time alone together, and I worry about what might happen. Now, having found these "toys," I'm confused.

I threw them away and left him a note where he'd hidden the toys, saying that these things are unnecessary, especially for an 18-year-old -- and besides, they aren't the real thing. There were toys for both sexes, so that leads me to believe that Lindy may use them also. (They looked quite new.)

I want to believe that if they aren't sexually active, Drew feels these are necessary. I know all teenagers are curious, but I didn't think the curiosity would advance past men's magazines.

Was I wrong for being upset and throwing his toys away? Should I try to talk to him about this, or should I have his father talk to him? (I am the parent with the discipline and responsibility. My husband just lets everything go.) -- CONFUSED MOTHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONFUSED MOTHER: Earth to Mother! Children become interested in and curious about sex even before puberty. A few decades ago, puberty would occur around ages 13 or 14, but in recent years children as young as 10 or 11 are becoming sexually mature.

Your son is no longer a child. You should not have thrown his property away without first discussing the matter with him. As for your "talking to him about this," I think you have already done enough. However, it's time your husband had a serious man-to-man talk with him.

Whether or not Drew and his girlfriend are having sex now, they are having a sexual relationship. Once things are hot and heavy enough to involve sex toys, the real thing is sure to follow.

So please take your head out of the sand and make absolutely certain that your son AND his girlfriend know the importance of birth control -- and how to use it. Do not procrastinate, or before you know it, someone could be calling you Granny.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and live at home with my parents. My boyfriend is 24, and also lives at home.

His mother has given him a cruise for his birthday, and he would like to take me. However, my parents don't believe in premarital sex and have already told me I cannot go away with him -- that only as a married couple can we travel together alone.

I do not want to miss this trip. I would love to spend this kind of time with my boyfriend. I love him very much, but my parents limit our time together. Is there a way to get around this? -- RESTRICTED IN OCEANSIDE, N.Y.

DEAR RESTRICTED: Yes. Invite a chaperone or get married.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)