DEAR ABBY: One day when my son was 8, he came home from school and announced, "Mommy, I know there's no Santa Claus!" The day I had dreaded was finally here.

I asked him why he believed that. He explained that his cousin, "Jason," had told him there was no such thing.

I looked him straight in the eye and, not knowing what else to say, said, "If you don't believe, you won't receive. NOW do you believe in Santa Claus?"

"Yes," he said.

The subject was not mentioned again until the next year, when I again asked him if he believed in Santa Claus. He piped up with, "Of course I believe in Santa Claus." We have repeated this scenario every year.

My son is now 22, and he still believes in Santa because you are never too old to believe in Santa Claus. -- PAM IN FLORIDA

DEAR PAM: Cousin Jason was a weasel, and I applaud your success in keeping a cherished tradition alive for your son. With an incentive like that, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't also still believe in the Tooth Fairy.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to send a heartfelt thank-you to my guardian angel.

My boyfriend, "Geoff," invited me to join him for a weekend during a two-week business trip to California. We had a wonderful time.

Monday morning, I returned my rental car at the airport and checked my luggage. An hour before my plane was to depart, I heard myself paged over the intercom. I answered the call and heard Geoff's panicked voice. He had been unable to call my cell phone because the battery had run down. He had left the keys to his rental car in mine and had to get to work.

I ran back to the counter to book a later flight, but since I had already checked my luggage, it was impossible.

I had $1 in change in my pocket. I called the car rental company from a pay phone and they gave me the runaround. I began crying in frustration when a woman sitting nearby handed me her cell phone and said, "Here. Call whomever you need." I was speechless. I gratefully took her phone and called the car rental company back. They located Geoff's keys and agreed to deliver them.

When I handed the woman her phone, she said, "Now, call your boyfriend." I'll never forget her sympathy and generosity.

If she reads this, she'll know who she is. Thank you -- and God bless you for your kindness! -- GRATEFUL TO MY GUARDIAN ANGEL

DEAR GRATEFUL: At last! A positive story about someone with a cell phone. The woman who helped you was indeed an "angel." These days, many people prefer not to get involved when they see someone in a predicament. My hat is off to her.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his girlfriend have invited my wife and me to meet her parents for brunch at a restaurant in their home state 2 1/2 hours away.

My question: Who should pay the bill? The young couple, her parents -- or should the bill be split three ways? -- UNSURE IN UTAH

DEAR UNSURE: The people who do the inviting usually pick up the tab. When the check arrives, let it sit on the table for a minute or two. If your son and his girlfriend do not pick it up, then consider suggesting that the bill be split among the older generation.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 25 and moved back to my hometown six months ago. Since my return, I have been socializing with a high school friend I'll call Josh. We go out fairly often and have become good friends again. Neither of us has any particular romantic interest in the other.

I invited Josh to escort me to the wedding of an old friend and he accepted.

After the reception, a group of us went to a mutual friend's for a hot-tub party. We were all having a great time, behaving like mature adults, until Josh went into the woods to make out with "Mandy," the 19-year-old cousin of one of the guests he met in the hot tub.

While Josh and I are just friends, I expected him to treat me with respect when he escorted me to the wedding and its attendant social functions. I felt hurt and humiliated by his actions, and I ended up leaving the party.

Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but am I wrong to think Josh behaved badly? I would never have done that to him. I want Josh to realize how much he hurt me, but I also never want to speak to him again. What should I do? -- GOLDILOCKS IN FLORIDA

DEAR GOLDILOCKS: What Josh did was rude, immature and boorish -- but speak to him again. It seems he never learned that a gentleman doesn't leave the lady he's escorting for a "quickie." If he wanted to make time with Mandy, he should have taken her number and called her another time -- after you were escorted safely home.

To give him the silent treatment would be letting him off easy. It's better for both of you to tell him exactly what's on your mind. If he doesn't know better, he needs to hear it. Besides, he owes you an apology.

DEAR ABBY: I am 22. I have a job and am engaged to marry a very nice man named "Jim" next year.

My parents divorced when I was 9. Mother abandoned me and I went to live with my dad, who subsequently married a lovely lady, "Diane." Diane has been like a mother to me. She and Dad have been helping Jim and me with our wedding plans.

Now that I'm older, my real mom wants to be my mom again, and she's very manipulative. When we spend time together, she treats me like I'm 9 years old. Then she complains that I don't spend enough time with her. I have told her I'm busy and she can come visit me, too, but she doesn't.

Abby, I have a wedding to prepare for. I wanted both my "mothers" to be at my wedding, but now I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable. What should I do? -- BRIDE-TO-BE, CHEHALIS, WASH.

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: Continue with your wedding plans and stop feeling the need to explain yourself to the mother who abandoned you when you were 9. Either she has convenient amnesia, or for her, time has stood still. You can be manipulated or treated like a child only if you permit it, so don't fall into that trap.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: "Kirk" and I have been together for more than three years, and last year he asked me to marry him. We have yet to set a date because we don't want to rush into anything. I am 25; he's 24.

Ninety-five percent of the time, we are happy. He calls out of the blue just to say he loves me. I write him love letters. He blows me kisses from across the room.

My only concern is, we have had two fights that became mildly physical, and I'm afraid of repeating my parents' mistakes. When I was a child, Dad hit Mom more than once. (My brother and I would hide in our rooms and hear her scream for us.) They finally divorced when I was in high school.

My last fight with Kirk was over a pregnancy scare. I had missed a couple of birth control pills, so I got the "morning-after" pill and took it. Kirk refused to believe I had taken it. At the breakfast table, he became furious and smashed the TV remote control.

It's not the first time he's thrown a temper tantrum. When he does, I always cringe. Then he gets over it and I clean up the mess. But this time, I was mad, too, so I smashed my cereal bowl on the floor. Well, it bounced and landed on his head! Blood poured everywhere. He was so frightened he called 911. They wanted to arrest me, but Kirk told them it was an accident.

I didn't mean to hit him, although my mom says maybe I did.

Kirk took all his things with him when he went to the hospital for stitches, then went to stay at his brother's. The next day when I saw him, he hugged me and said, "You have a sick baby to take care of." He said he had been in so much pain he hadn't had time to get mad.

I feel terrible. If he'd done this to me, I would never see him again. (Although once he did hit my head against the car window while he was driving.)

In my heart I know I didn't mean to hurt him, but nobody believes me. I should not have lost my temper. I know if I control myself and don't get mad over petty things, he will also be OK.

If he decides we should keep seeing each other, do you think it will work? -- LOST MY TEMPER IN CHULA VISTA

DEAR LOST: Your mother has spoken with the voice of experience, so pay attention. Young love may be tempestuous, but it is not supposed to leave you black-and-blue or with stitches. There are healthier, more constructive ways to deal with anger.

Unless you and Kirk learn to control your tempers in an adult and civilized fashion, you will repeat your parents' mistakes. As much as you may care for each other, it is vital you both get anger management counseling before you live together again. Please don't wait. Your problems will escalate if you ignore this issue.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

"If a diplomat says yes, he means maybe.

"If a diplomat says maybe, he means no.

"If a diplomat says no, he ain't no diplomat!" -- Andre Gabor

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)