DEAR ABBY: We, the people, bury our heroes with the promise to remember. The Congress of the United States has created the National Moment of Remembrance to reach Americans with one simple message: Don't forget the true meaning of Memorial Day to honor our fallen. No other holidays would be possible without the sacrifices of those brave men and women who have died for freedom since the founding of our nation. Today let us all unite in remembrance to honor those who have ensured that freedom rings in the home of the brave.

Americans are asked to pause, wherever you are, at 3 p.m. (local time).

Participation may be informal. It can be as simple as ringing a bell to mark the moment. Bells carry significant symbolism -– from "proclaiming liberty throughout the land" to the marking of the passing of a soul. The Moment of Remembrance is a time to remember our fallen and to make a commitment to give something back to our country in their memory. -- CARMELLA LASPADA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WHITE HOUSE COMMISSION ON REMEMBRANCE

DEAR CARMELLA: I'm pleased to share your message with my readers, some of whom may not be aware of what the true meaning of this holiday is about. Readers, although most of you will be devoting today to your personal pursuits, Memorial Day really isn't about us. It's for all those families whose loved ones aren't here to enjoy the freedoms they secured for us. At 3 p.m., let's stand as one, and show them the respect they deserve.

And while I'm on the subject of respect, there is now another way of honoring those heroes who are still serving our country. Visit OperationDearAbby.net and show our troops stationed worldwide how much their efforts are appreciated by sending them a message of support. Bless you, one and all!

Here's a reminiscence from a veteran of World War II:

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to bring to light the unheralded act of some residents of the Czech city of Plzen. On May 7, 1945, the day World War II was declared over, we of the 23rd Cavalry Reconnaissance Squadron (Mechanized) arrived in Plzen. A 20-mile buffer zone was established between us and the advancing Russian forces then in Slovakia. After a day of joyous celebration, an envoy was established to meet with the Russian military.

While the envoy was gone, those of us left behind in Plzen got acquainted with the Czech people. Some of them learned that none of us had had showers during the prior 40 days, and we had just completed 14 continuous days and nights of reconnaissance throughout southeast Germany. As a result, we could not risk a timeout for hygiene.

A group of citizens set up a program to open their bathrooms to soldiers on an assembly line rotation. When my turn came at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, I was ushered into a residence to an immaculate bathroom with a spotlessly clean tub filled with 8 inches of warm water. I was not rushed but carefully timed, so they could prepare the tub for the next soldier.

Abby, the only expression I could offer them for their kindness was an unwrapped bar of Palmolive soap. -- DALE C. BISHOFF, U.S. ARMY (Ret.)

DEAR DALE: Thank you for the timely reminder that the things we take for granted can become great luxuries in times of need.

DEAR ABBY: I received a gift of handmade note cards made by the giver. Would it be improper for me to use one of these note cards to write my thank-you? -- ETIQUETTE-CHALLENGED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ETIQUETTE-CHALLENGED: Not only would it be proper to use one of the cards to thank the giver, it would also be a compliment.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dennis," and I have been happily married for 13 years and have two great sons. Our only problem is we haven't spoken to Dennis' mother, "Roz," in more than three years. Roz is always mad at us -- for what, we're not sure. It's as if we can never please her, and she has just cut us off.

Dennis has gone through years of psychotherapy to heal the emotional damage Roz has caused him, and he has come a long way. He's now a successful and happy man.

Our older boy will be having his bar mitzvah in two years, and already Dennis is stressing out about whether to include Roz or not. Having a relationship with her was strained at best. We were constantly walking on eggshells. In Roz's eyes we could do no right. How can we avoid feeling guilty about not including her -- or should we invite her? -- AMBIVALENT IN FLORIDA

DEAR AMBIVALENT: Grit your teeth and invite her. A Jewish grandson's 13th birthday isn't an occasion that slips by unnoticed. If Roz does not attend your son's bar mitzvah, there will be questions about her absence. Of course, if there has been no communication for three years, there's a strong likelihood that she won't attend. However, if she does, make sure she's seated with other relatives, as far away from your husband as possible. If she's absent, be sure to tell anyone who asks that she was invited.

DEAR ABBY: Last February, I went for my annual mammogram. They found that I had an invasive cancer in one breast. I opted to have both breasts removed because I didn't want to go through the trauma of it all over again. I kept my spirits up, and opted against reconstructive surgery because I am not comfortable with the procedure. I don't wear padded bras because they are a hassle. I'm happy with my chest the way it is.

Sometimes it's a challenge to wear certain kinds of dresses, but I can usually overcome that.

My problem is, I have many friends -- well-meaning, I am sure -- both male and female, who are always suggesting different ways for me to make it look like I have breasts. One male friend even suggested that it takes away the "eye appeal and mystery." How can I make these people understand that I'm happy the way I am? My husband says I'm just as sexy as I was before. -- FLAT AND SASSY IN OREGON

DEAR SASSY: You are a woman who is doubly blessed. Not only do you have a healthy sense of self-esteem, you also have a mature and loving spouse. When your friends offer unsolicited advice, smile and tell them, "I'm happy the way I am, thank you, and I don't believe in false advertising. End of subject."

DEAR ABBY: It has been almost a year since the home invasion at my son's apartment that nearly cost him his life. (He was nearly beaten to death.)

A week ago, I found out that the woman who spends most of the time living with my son was the person who set the whole thing up. Should I tell my son the facts of the matter? How, exactly, should I broach the subject? -- WORRIED MOM IN L.A.

DEAR WORRIED MOM: If you have facts pertaining to a crime that was committed, inform the police so the matter can be properly investigated. Once that's done, tell your son face-to-face what you have learned and how you learned it. The information could save his life.

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DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in college, but I don't feel like one. I am still afraid of my parents. My mom and dad never physically abused me or my brothers, but they were verbally abusive. They had a tough life, married young, and had my older brother and me while they were in their early 20s. They are now in their mid-40s and they still hate each other.

I get phone calls from home every day asking me where I am and what have I done, and if Mom doesn't like what I say, she hangs up and a few minutes later Dad calls to curse me out for "upsetting Mom" because she calls to harass him at work.

I am not going home this summer. I don't think of their house as a home. I have been in therapy for the past two years without telling them. I support myself and pay for my own schooling. The only thing I don't pay for is $200 a month for car insurance.

Abby, I love my parents, but I'm kept a virtual prisoner when I'm at home, and I'm physically ill from being harassed when I'm at school. Please print this; maybe one of them will read it. -- SHAKING SON IN THE BRONX

DEAR SHAKING: It's time to reorganize your priorities. If the only thing that's making you tolerate this situation is the fact that your father is paying your car insurance, you might be better off not driving for a while. For your own mental health, cut not only the umbilical cord with your mother, but also the telephone cord. And because after two years of therapy, you continue to tolerate the treatment you're getting from your parents, please consider changing therapists.

DEAR ABBY: I am 29 and have a slight hearing loss in one ear and almost complete hearing loss in the other. I work in retail, and when I'm talking to a customer and see that the person is getting frustrated by having to repeat his or her questions, I apologize and say that I have a hearing loss.

The question I always get back from them is "Why?" What should I say to them, short of being sarcastic? I think it's rude for people to ask why. I don't even know why I have the hearing loss. (The doctors are clueless.)

Should I even tell people what I have been telling them? -- IRRITATED IN ST. PAUL

DEAR IRRITATED: Because your customer(s) become frustrated at having to repeat their questions, you're doing the right thing to explain the reason why. Asking you what caused the problem is natural curiosity, so please don't hold it against them. Just tell them exactly what you have told me -- you don't know what caused it and the doctors aren't sure. End of discussion.

DEAR ABBY: What are the rules of etiquette for hand-shaking between men and women? Is it proper when a woman extends her hand to a man for him to offer his left hand to shake? Or is this some back-handed insult?

I am involved in receiving lines and have had this happen many times. They always offer their right hand to the next man in line. Should I take this as an insult, or do these men just not know how to act properly? -- IN A QUANDARY IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: A person who looks hard enough for an insult is sure to find one, so I recommend against it. It has been my experience that people who offer their left hand to shake often have a physical problem of some sort such as a sprain or arthritis. You can't go wrong to smile, be charming, and deal with the hand you're dealt.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)