DEAR ABBY: As a practicing physician, a mother, and CEO of the nation's largest health foundation, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, I care deeply about the 45 million Americans who lack health insurance -- especially the 8.4 million uninsured children.

These kids often do not receive needed medical care for sore throats, earaches and asthma. However, many of them are eligible for programs that provide low-cost or free health-care coverage, even if their parents work and earn only modest incomes.

These programs exist in every state and the District of Columbia through Medicaid and the State Children's Health Insurance Program. Eligibility varies by state, but families of four earning up to $38,000 a year or more may qualify. The programs cover doctor visits, hospitalizations, prescriptions and more.

Making sure our children have health-care coverage is an investment in their healthy future as well as our nation's. Thank you, Abby, for helping America's kids by printing this. -- RISA LAVIZZO-MOUREY, M.D., PRESIDENT AND CEO

DEAR DR. LAVIZZO-MOUREY: Thank you for the important heads-up. That a country as rich and powerful as the United States does not have a comprehensive national health program protecting all of our children is a national embarrassment.

Readers, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation sponsors a program nationwide called "Covering Kids and Families," and encourages parents of noninsured children to call (toll-free) 877-543-7669 (877-KIDS-NOW) to find out if your children are eligible. The need is great, so please don't wait to place that call.

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to be married. The problem is that "Todd" and I come from different religions. I'm a Catholic and he is a Baptist.

Todd refuses to even consider being married in a Catholic church and, because he won't, I won't get married in his. I really want a church wedding, and my mother doesn't want me to be married in any other church. (I don't attend church on a regular basis.)

So, what do I do to get my perfect wedding? -- CONFUSED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CONFUSED: That depends upon what you consider a "perfect wedding." If it involves being married in a Catholic church, you will have to break this engagement and find a nice Catholic boy. If it's marrying Todd, you will probably have to change religions.

Because this is a subject about which neither of you seems willing to compromise, I strongly recommend that the two of you get premarital counseling. It appears there are many important subjects you need to discuss -- including in which religion you plan to raise your children.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I rent a house from her mother. I run a home-based business and use our bedroom as an office. On several occasions I have returned to the house and found my business documents rearranged.

I suspected someone was going through the house in our absence, so I set up my camcorder and left it running one afternoon. When I came home later, I played it back and saw I had caught "on tape" my mother-in-law going through our personal belongings and my private papers.

I'm afraid if we confront her she might evict us. How should we handle this? -- DISAPPOINTED SON-IN-LAW IN FLORIDA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Do not confront her. Install a deadbolt lock on your bedroom/office door and keep it locked whenever you're away from the house. And as soon as you can save enough to rent or buy another place, get the heck out of there.

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DEAR ABBY: I recently received a modest inheritance. My husband and I are about 10 years from retiring. The money is just enough to put away for a secure retirement, not enough for a lavish lifestyle.

The problem is my mother-in-law, "Vera." She is 70, healthy and active. She manages very well in her paid-for home. Vera has now begun looking at assisted-living communities that, for a hefty monthly rent, provide chef-prepared meals in a dining room, activities and transportation. She's assuming that my husband and I will pay this rent, since we are now "wealthy" in her estimation.

Abby, if we take on this responsibility, the money will be spent by the time we retire, and Vera will still need to pay her rent. I never discussed this inheritance with my mother-in-law. It came from my side of the family and is really not her business. We didn't brag or start making showy purchases.

My husband feels as I do about putting it aside for retirement, but we're both stumped about how to handle his mom. Have you any suggestions? -- "THE HEIRESS" IN UPSTATE N.Y.

DEAR "HEIRESS": Before your mother-in-law's fantasy about dwelling on easy street becomes any more grandiose, you and her son must schedule a reality session with her. If she's planning on upgrading her lifestyle from what it is now, she should first consult her CPA or financial planner to make sure her assets will cover the cost. It may be a rude awakening for the lady, but better now than later.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a real bind. I have an employee who decides on her own hours even when a schedule is posted every month. Some days, she doesn't show up for work at all, and other times she leaves before her shift is over.

When I confront her about it, she gets angry and threatens me with, "I'm going to phone Labor Standards on you!" Can she be fired for this kind of behavior? -- IGNORED IN CANADA

DEAR IGNORED: Here in the United States, it is recommended that the matter be handled by calling the employee in, reminding her of the posted work schedule, and "counseling" her that she must be at work during work hours. Afterward, a memo -- signed or initialed by the employee -- would be placed in her employee file. If this doesn't remedy the situation and the woman is still noncompliant, there would be grounds for dismissal, and the Labor Board would probably agree the dismissal was justified.

Because I am not familiar with the law in Canada, I urge you to discuss the matter with someone familiar with labor law there.

DEAR ABBY: When we're together, my middle-aged daughter insists on talking about her mother, from whom I've been divorced for many years. Our daughter always mentions her in a caring way, as if it really mattered to me what's going on in my ex-wife's life. I should point out that the divorce was a bitter one for all parties.

My daughter isn't happy that I don't show an interest in her mother. I have tried to explain why I feel the way I do, but she keeps saying, "She IS my mother!" What's your take on this, please? -- PERPLEXED IN CACTUS COUNTRY

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your daughter is either insensitive to your feelings, or she's trying to drum up some interest on your part regarding her mother. The next time she tells you, "She IS my mother," tell her, "Well, she's no longer my wife -- so please stop inflicting her on me" and change the subject.

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DEAR ABBY: I have what I consider to be a moral dilemma. My husband's grandfather, "John," is going to marry his "girlfriend" of more than 30 years this fall. I was very close to John's wife, "Doris," who died in November of last year.

Although John has done much for our families and we would like to support him in these, his later years, I have no respect for a woman who waits in the wings for decades until her "boyfriend's" wife dies, and then expects to marry him.

My husband and I, and other family members, would rather not attend the wedding, or have "Vivian" in our homes -- let alone our lives. Your advice and opinion are greatly appreciated. What should I as an in-law do about this situation? -- CONFUSED IN L.A.

DEAR CONFUSED: For starters, try becoming less judgmental. Although I don't approve of the extramarital affair, John did not dump his wife for the other woman. Doris is dead, and as much as you loved her, nothing will bring her back. My advice is to swallow hard, remember all that John has done for your families, and give Vivian a fair chance. She may not be as bad as you think she is. Besides, if you punish your husband's grandfather for marrying his longtime "friend," you may wind up shooting yourselves in the collective foot.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Nora," and I married 20 years ago. She brought into our home -- and my life -- two young teenagers whose lives I shared with the normal amount of step-stress until they graduated from college. Both are now married with children.

My youngest daughter, "Mary," is now in her 20s. She's a college grad with a career. Her roommate is moving soon, and Mary (with whom I'm very close) would like to reduce her minor debts plus save enough to afford a cross-country relocation.

Mary casually suggested that she move in with Nora and me. Because I haven't shared a home with her since she was 5, I was delighted. Our large home would afford Mary her own private quarters and, since she's so quiet and respectful of our privacy, I was overjoyed that my daughter would want to share her life with us before she moved.

Imagine my shock when my wife, after years of my caring for her offspring, refused to even consider having Mary live with us, even for a six-month period! Nora's attitude has driven a huge wedge into our relationship. I would appreciate any advice you can offer, although I now dread the tension I suspect would occur even if my wife relented. -- DISILLUSIONED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Your wife's reaction to the idea of your daughter moving in for six months may have been a reaction to the fact that she wasn't consulted before you agreed to it. When you married Nora, you knew she had teenagers and they were part of the package you were taking on.

I can't help thinking there's something missing from your letter. You did not mention what your wife's objections were. Could she be concerned that the six-month visit might extend even longer? Is there something about your daughter she's uncomfortable with? Whatever her concerns might be, you should at least understand what they are.

Because this issue has drive a "huge wedge" into your marriage, I recommend some sessions with a marriage counselor before the situation deteriorates further.

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