DEAR ABBY: "Brett" and I have been married for six years. We have no children, although I would dearly love to have one. Brett has a child from a previous relationship.

When I bring up the subject of having a child, he agrees, but when I tell him I am ovulating, he says he's too tired to try, or he makes up another excuse.

I have asked for a divorce several times, but Brett says he will not divorce me. This is extremely frustrating for me. He knows I am taking prenatal pills and buying ovulation kits. I have also threatened to get artificially inseminated or to adopt. I feel as if I'm living in hell. What do I do? -- ACHING TO BE A MOMMY

DEAR ACHING: Forget about artificial insemination or adopting without your husband's support, unless you are ready to raise a child by yourself. Your husband has serious issues about becoming a father again, and it's time you found out what they are. Marriage counseling might help you get to the bottom of it.

That said, you do not need your husband's permission to end this marriage. If you have reached your limit, consult an attorney who specializes in family law. If you married Brett with the understanding that there would be children, you may qualify for an annulment.

DEAR ABBY: I work in retail, and I'm having a problem I am not sure how to handle. Customers almost constantly touch my hands and shoulders. I feel it is an intentional invasion of my personal space.

Many customers have grabbed me by the arm to pull me with them to find where certain items are located. I have a friendly face, and I'm willing to help people, but I do not like being touched. What can I say to make it clear to customers that this is not OK? -- NICKI IN MARYLAND

DEAR NICKI: Discuss this with your supervisor, and ask if your employer has a policy in place regarding touching. One way to solve the problem would be to make sure to stay out of arm's reach. Another might be to see if there is something else you can do in the store that would give you less contact with customers.

If that's not possible, consider looking for a job in something other than retail. But to tell someone that a touch on the hand, arm or shoulder is unwelcome could lose you -- and the store -- a customer, and I don't recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: I am newly married and have discovered how skilled my husband's family is at finding the cloud in every silver lining.

What advice can you offer so I can diplomatically steer our conversations toward more positive topics? With Easter here, please help me maintain my sanity around these sour relatives. -- SUNNY-SIDE UP, ALTOONA, PA.

DEAR SUNNY: When your in-laws raise an unpleasant subject, try this. Smile and say, "This is such a wonderful occasion. Let's have a good time and talk about happy things!" Then change the subject.

TO MY CHRISTIAN READERS: Happy Easter, everyone!

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from a woman who told you her pet peeve was that when she and her friends went to restaurants, they were addressed as "you guys" by the servers.

Now let me share my pet peeve: What really frosts me is the way some waiters address only my husband. They greet only him when we arrive, and thank only him when we leave. Apparently I am invisible! If they don't value my business, why should I give it to them? -- LORRAINE IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR LORRAINE: No law says you must. The servers you describe must be using an outdated etiquette book. Their behavior harkens back to the days when males were presumed to be sole providers, expected to pay the tab, and often placed the food order for their companions so the fragile little things wouldn't have to bother speaking to the person taking the order. (In some establishments, women were handed separate menus with no prices listed because the very mention of money was vulgar.)

Because you rightly feel that you have been treated rudely, have a word with the manager of the restaurant and explain that you won't be eating there again because you were not made to feel welcome. Then take your business elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I was assisting with a local talent show and received a handwritten note from a parent expressing how much her child enjoyed being in the show and that she appreciated my efforts. It was unexpected and brightened my day.

I decided I would try to find someone to thank whenever possible, and have since mailed many little notes. I wrote to thank my daughter's bus driver for being kind, prompt and safe all year. I contacted a store manager to compliment him on a cashier who was exceptionally helpful and cheerful.

I hear so many people complain, sometimes misdirecting their anger at whoever is in their path. Impatient drivers sound their horns relentlessly. Neighbors threaten to sue each other. Enough, already! The power of a thank-you note goes beyond good manners. It's a great pick-me-up to receive a little thank-you now and then. -- GRATEFUL NOTE WRITER, BRECKSVILLE, OHIO

DEAR GRATEFUL: Thank you for writing. It's interesting that what started you penning thank-you notes was receiving one. Most people cultivate this social skill because they were taught to do so by a parent.

Thank-you notes do not need to be long or fancy, and should reflect one's spontaneous reaction for someone making an effort on your behalf -- giving exceptional service, entertaining you or treating you to a meal, or upon receipt of a gift. It can be simple: "The dinner was delightful, the company even more so. Thank you for including me." Or: "The gift is beautiful. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded of your thoughtfulness and generosity. Thank you!" A sentence or two can be more eloquent than a paragraph.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Patti" always brags to me about how many guys try to talk to her. When she tells me, sometimes I change the subject and act as if I don't hear her -- mainly because I'm not in a relationship right now, and I can't possibly be happy for her when things are so bad for me. Am I being a bad friend? -- FEELING GUILTY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: Because you're not getting the kind of attention you crave at the moment shouldn't mean you're not happy for Patti. But for her to gloat about her embarrassment of riches while you're starving for attention is immature and not very nice, either. From where I sit, neither one of you is being a particularly supportive friend to the other.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My problem is, I have lost the art of listening. When someone takes too long to get to the point, or includes irrelevant details, I completely lose patience. I work in a medical office with the same small group of women every day, and I like my job. However, I find myself trying to keep "extra busy" to avoid the boring, mundane chatter about things I don't care about.

Am I becoming an anti-social snob, or is there a way to participate in a conversation while resisting the temptation to roll my eyes and hurry someone along with my hands? I am not particularly chatty, and I don't divulge many details of my personal life -- so is it wrong to no longer care about the details of everyone else's? -- VERBALLY OVERLOADED

DEAR VERBALLY OVERLOADED: We usually get what we give in life. If you would like to receive empathy from those around you (should the need arise), then my advice is to be prepared to show some. Because you don't have time to listen to long stories, it's acceptable in an office setting to say that you are busy and have a limited amount of time to chat. In other words, if you're "verbally overloaded" -- verbalize.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had our first child, a beautiful baby girl, nine months ago. We chose a name for our daughter while I was pregnant, but my in-laws refuse to use her first name. They insist on calling her a diminutive of her middle name. Now the whole family is doing it.

At first they claimed that some distant cousin (whom we have never met) had the same name. Now they say, "We don't like her first name, so we're going to call her ( )."

How can we convince them to call her by her given name? -- NEW MOM IN AUSTIN

DEAR NEW MOM: Your in-laws' behavior is rude and disrespectful. Tell them that unless they're prepared for their grandchild to call them "UNCLE Charles and AUNT Martha," they should get used to calling your daughter by the name you chose for her. If they refuse, limit their time with her until she's old enough to understand who she is so they won't confuse her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm "Troubled in North Carolina," whose letter you published on Feb. 23. Thank you for printing it. You will be happy to know that after the length of time you suggested, I did contact "Bethany." You nailed it. She did, in fact, go back to her ex-boyfriend. I'm OK with it, but what is disappointing is, she broke up with me by e-mail. I guess she didn't have the courage to face me.

After I wrote to you, I decided I wouldn't sit around and wait like a "sad puppy." I've been on a few dates and have met a lot of great women, but haven't settled yet. That's the thing: I'm not going to "settle."

There are so many times when "we men" can't open up and share how we feel. Thank you for being someone that "we" can talk to (even if it isn't really a conversation.) -- NO LONGER TROUBLED IN JACKSONVILLE, N.C.

DEAR NO LONGER TROUBLED: You're welcome. I'm pleased I could be a sounding board for you. I'm also pleased you jumped right back into the dating pool. Although Bethany may have had many admirable qualities, the fact that she took the easy way out and ended the relationship by e-mail rather than facing you is a clue to her character. You deserve better, and you shouldn't settle for less.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)