DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, the youngest of three children, but I am treated with no respect. My parents (mostly my dad) treat my brother like he's a prince. Even if he loses a football game he is praised. I just started playing volleyball and my team won, but my parents haven't said anything to me.

Dad treats me and my sister as if we are in the 18th century. We're supposed to work all the time while our brother is spoiled. Even when we finish working they don't appreciate it, and I'm always to blame.

Abby, I feel so disrespected. Please help me. I have talked to them about it, but it doesn't seem to get through. -- NEEDS RESPECT IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR NEEDS RESPECT: Does your sister feel the same way you do? If so, you should approach your mother together and discuss it. Even if your father doesn't, she should be praising you when you do something right.

I hope you and your sister continue to strive to excel and be recognized, because you may find that while your father isn't capable of giving you the affirmation you need, others will as you achieve your goals. So bide your time and persevere. If you do, you won't be sorry.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Ashley," is being married in September. She invited me to be one of her bridesmaids and my two children to be ring-bearers. I accepted because I felt obligated and didn't want to hurt her feelings, but now I regret my answer.

Abby, I cannot stand there beside her and support her marrying the man she has chosen. He is dishonest and in debt because of his poor decisions. After three years of dating, Ashley gave him a deadline to propose, and he waited until the last minute. I understand this is her choice -- I just cannot support it.

She continues to say how she misses spending time with me, but makes no effort to get together. Needless to say, our friendship is not what it was at one point. My question is, how do I back out now, before it's too late? And how do I explain things without creating an enemy? -- MOMMY OF TWO

DEAR MOMMY: Tell her immediately, and here's how: "Ashley, I can't be in the wedding. I don't think this man is good enough for you, and I think you are doing something you will regret later. Please don't think I don't care about you because I do, but the children and I cannot be a part of this."

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, after my neighbors went out, the hose on their washing machine broke. Because the faucet had been left in the open position, hot water gushed out all day long, soaking through the floor and flooding their basement. Abby, their basement had just been refinished. The repairs will cost thousands of additional dollars.

My dad warned me about this potential problem years ago. Ever since, I have always turned my faucets off when I am not actually doing laundry.

Please print this so your readers will know to shut off the washing machine faucets unless their machine is in use. -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTER IN COLORADO

DEAR GRATEFUL DAUGHTER: Thank you for a valuable reminder. Better to take an extra second to turn off the taps than spend hours bailing, mopping and kicking yourself!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 18 and sad all the time. I have never had a boyfriend, and have struggled in the past with anxiety and loneliness. It has been a rollercoaster year for me -- a tough first year of college, watching all of my friends enter meaningful relationships. All I can do is be ashamed of the fact that I'm struggling while others are thriving. I need help, but don't know where to turn. -- A COMPLETE MESS IN OHIO

DEAR COMPLETE MESS: Before I start offering you advice, please let me point out that the first year of college is a huge adjustment for everyone. You're away from your usual support systems, adjusting to a new environment and new responsibilities. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends who are entering "meaningful relationships," please look around at all of the students who are single like you are. If you do, you will realize they outnumber the ones who are coupled up.

Because you are sad for extended periods, you should head over to the student health center and talk about it with a counselor. He or she will help you find ways to overcome your feelings of isolation, anxiety and depression -- but only if someone who is qualified knows you're having trouble. And please don't waste one minute being "ashamed." What you're experiencing is not uncommon.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of two young children. Three years ago I divorced my husband of eight years. My mother does not accept the divorce and still views my ex as a family member. She's planning a family reunion for my father's 80th birthday and has told me she's inviting my ex, which will be uncomfortable since I am attending the party with my boyfriend of two years.

My mother's unwillingness to accept my new boyfriend in my life is hurtful, and it is affecting my relationship with her. How can I sustain a relationship with her if she doesn't accept that I have moved on with my life? -- IRRITATED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR IRRITATED: You have moved on with your life. But in the eight years you were married, your mother grew attached to your former husband. I assume that you and your ex have a civil relationship, if only for the sake of your children. So go to the reunion with your boyfriend. Give your parents every opportunity you can to get to know him, because the more they are exposed to him, the greater the chances of their accepting him.

P.S. Wouldn't it be lovely if your ex were to bring a date? Why not call him and plant the idea ...

DEAR ABBY: I am a 61-year-old, recently retired male. I think I am experiencing a midlife crisis, exacerbated by my wife's decision to let her hair go natural -- meaning gray.

I know you and your readers will probably think I'm shallow and am trying to hold onto my young, 59-year-old "trophy wife." We have been happily married nearly 40 years. In my eyes she represents our youth and vitality, which suddenly isn't feeling so youthful or vital since her roots started showing. What can I do? -- YOUNGER AT HEART IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR YOUNGER AT HEART: Try this. Remember the words of Benjamin Franklin on aging. He wrote: "In the dark all cats are gray."

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: You did a disservice to the truly disabled on May 1 when you advised "Jennifer in Maine" it was OK to use the handicapped restroom stall because her large size made it uncomfortable using a regular one.

I am married to a disabled person. He cannot get off a toilet without the grab bars available in a designated stall. What some individuals may not know is that many disabled people also suffer from bladder and bowel control issues and are desperate to use the facilities when they enter a restroom. A minute or two delay for them can spell disaster.

Finding it "difficult" to squeeze into a tiny stall is not the same as finding it impossible. The same goes for abusers of handicapped parking tags. The only persons entitled to these accommodations are the disabled -- not the lazy, not the obese, or even necessarily the elderly. We who are blessed with the gift of mobility should make sure that accommodations are always available for those who are not. -- VOICE OF REASON IN OHIO

DEAR VOICE: Thank you for correcting me. I told "Jennifer" I saw nothing wrong with using the larger stall as long as she deferred to a disabled woman needing it at the same time -- and not everyone agreed with my reply. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Not all reasons for needing the special stall are evident. Have you ever tried to fit two adults into a regular stall when one of them is disabled and needs assistance? This happens when someone else uses the bigger stall even though there were other ones available. It infuriates me knowing my parents suffer because people ignore disability-specific setups. -- DAUGHTER OF DISABLED

DEAR ABBY: Handicapped parking spaces are legally reserved for people who have a disability. Handicapped restroom stalls are built to accommodate the disabled -- not reserved for them. -- BARBARA IN SAN LUIS OBISPO

DEAR ABBY: I believe the larger stalls are there for anyone who needs them. If a woman has to change clothes, that stall is helpful, but she should be quick so as not to leave a disabled person waiting.

Women with small children or a baby in a stroller should use this stall and keep the kids in there with her. I was appalled when I saw a woman leave her baby in a stroller outside a small stall while she used it. -- HEDDY, OUT WEST

DEAR ABBY: I use the bathroom stalls for people with disabilities and sometimes get dirty looks. I have a back injury and because the seats are much higher in a disabled stall, it allows me to conduct my business without enduring extreme pain. Please remind your readers that disabilities have many faces. -- LADY WHO KNOWS IN EL CENTRO, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I also exclusively use the larger stall. I am a perfectly healthy 36-year-old woman with a thin build and no physical limitations. What I do have is moderate obsessive-compulsive disorder. The thought of using the smaller stall makes my heart race and my skin crawl.

I touch most of the outside world with a tissue or handkerchief. In a restroom I need enough space to be sure I will not touch the toilet, door, walls, trash can or paper dispenser. I realize my disorder is quirky, but I adapt. And obviously, I would yield to any person in need. -- DENTON, TEXAS, READER

DEAR ABBY: You may have overlooked the real concern of "Jennifer's" mother about her obese daughter's use of the handicapped stall. Jennifer needs to shape up before she is the one in the wheelchair. -- VALERIE IN FLORIDA