DEAR ABBY: I have been writing to an inmate from the Florida prison system for about two years. It has slowly developed into more than a friendship. "Mike" is a born-again Christian, as am I. He doesn't get out until 2013 at the earliest, so we have plenty of time to see where this goes.

Am I wrong for considering someone who is in prison? Mike has made mistakes, nothing violent, and has turned his life around. If he does become part of my life, how do I introduce him to my family so they may better accept him?

Abby, I'm 54. I lost my husband seven years ago. It is nice to have someone in my life again. We have talked on the phone, and it feels like we have known each other our whole lives. Am I crazy? -- SMITTEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR SMITTEN: Crazy? No. Gullible? Possibly. Please forgive me if I seem cynical, but more than one devout, vulnerable, lonely woman has been taken advantage of by an inmate with whom she corresponded. That's why, before allowing yourself to become more emotionally involved, you should contact the warden of the prison and verify that what "Mike" has been telling you is the gospel truth. If it is -- fine. If it's not, for your own sake, end the correspondence immediately.

P.S. As to how to introduce him to your family, if it comes to that, be completely honest and tell them he's your pen pal. If you're not, they'll find out eventually anyway.

DEAR ABBY: I am a vegan who is constantly pestered by uninvited comments like, "You're not getting the proper nutrition," or "That looks disgusting," or "You should just give it up." I wouldn't dream of making such rude comments to others about their diet. What one eats is his or her own business.

My husband -- an omnivore -- and I have decided to raise our child vegan. He can choose whatever diet he prefers when he is older and educated about them. We work with a pediatric nutritionist to ensure that our son gets all the nutrients he needs. We make him pureed fresh vegetables, fruits, grains and more for almost every meal.

We are now getting comments from family and friends who feel we're practically abusing our son. I believe people make these comments because they are ignorant about this lifestyle. I have asked them to stop, but they continue. What can I do to stop the unwarranted harassment? -- SICK OF THE COMMENTS IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SICK: Is your child's pediatrician aware of the diet you have him on? Is your pediatric nutritionist a member of the American Dietetic Association? Have you told the individuals making these comments that you are working with a professional to be sure your little one is getting everything he needs? If the answer to my questions is yes and the questioners persist, refer them to your nutritionist for reassurance.

DEAR ABBY: How do you mend a broken heart? -- TEARS ON MY PILLOW

DEAR TEARS: By staying busy. By avoiding the "old reminders," which tend to make you moody and broody. By putting away or getting rid of the photographs, cards and gifts that make you sad -- unless you enjoy punishing yourself. And by staying in the present.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: When I went to visit my mother, I found her lying on the kitchen floor. I asked her what she was doing there, and she said the floor feels cold and hard and soothes her back.

Abby, my mother has two very expensive beds in her home, and there is no reason for her to lie on the floor. It could be embarrassing if a friend or neighbor should pop in and find her there. How do I get her off the floor? -- NOT BEDRIDDEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR NOT BEDRIDDEN: You should be more concerned with how things are than how they "might" be perceived by others. If your mother is having back trouble, encourage her to discuss it with her doctor or a chiropractor so she can be examined to make sure nothing is wrong. But if nothing is, then leave your poor mother alone. She's in the privacy of her own home, and she is hurting no one.

DEAR ABBY: We have an ongoing discussion in our office. What color ink is proper for signing birthday cards, sympathy cards, farewell cards, etc?

One co-worker continues to use colors other than blue or black. An older co-worker says it's inappropriate to use any other colors. I have searched for an answer to this question with no luck. Can you help? -- SEEING RED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SEEING RED: You seem to have a lot of time on your hands in that office. What is being conveyed is more important than how it looks. To sign a sympathy card in bright red might be inappropriate because it is jarring. For cards celebrating happy occasions, colored ink is acceptable -- the exception being fluorescent ink because it is hard to read.

DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle are "large" people. In the past we have had to be extremely cautious about where they sit when they come visit. Our furniture is mostly hand-me-downs and not overly sturdy.

They have, on occasion, broken the furniture because of their weight. We have had to have our kitchen chairs reglued, and once a chair was destroyed beyond repair. They have never ever offered to make amends for the furniture they have damaged.

We are about to order a new dining room set and living room furniture. Naturally, we don't want these broken. My husband has suggested giving them only sturdy folding chairs to sit on, but I don't want to embarrass them or make them feel unwelcome.

Is there a way to protect our furniture without hurting or offending my aunt and uncle? We don't have the money to constantly replace broken items. -- STRICTLY ANONYMOUS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR STRICTLY ANONYMOUS: To drag out folding chairs for your aunt and uncle to use would be glaringly obvious. Consider buying a couple of sturdy chairs (and possibly have them reinforced with metal bracing) for them. When you know they're coming, "guide" them toward the chairs you want them to use. If you are questioned about it, explain (kindly) that in the past your chairs have been broken or needed repair -- so these were bought with them in mind because they are sturdier and you want them to be comfortable.

If they take offense, then please realize that the problem is theirs. To prepare for guests with "special needs" is an example of good hospitality, not rudeness.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25 and have been married to "Bob" for five years. The problem is, I'm in love with his 53-year-old father. I have always been attracted to "Charlie," but my feelings have escalated since Bob's mother died last year.

After the funeral, Charlie was lonely and started coming to our house. Most of the time Bob was at work, so Charlie and I became very close. At one family get-together, Charlie kissed me passionately in the kitchen when no one was around.

I don't know what to do. I think I am seriously in love with Charlie, but my husband is a wonderful man and I would never want to hurt him. If I tell Bob the truth, not only will it destroy our marriage, but forever ruin Bob's relationship with his father.

Should I ignore my feelings for Charlie and pretend it never happened? Or should I tell Bob what happened, hoping he'll understand? -- IN LOVE WITH THE OLDER VERSION

DEAR IN LOVE: Charlie may have been lonely and grieving when he started coming over, but when you both recognized that you were becoming attracted to each other, a stop should have been put to it. That he would actually hit on you "when no one was looking" is disgraceful. (Was he sober?)

If you tell your husband, he will indeed "understand," and I don't recommend it. You need professional counseling, and Charlie needs to be told that poaching on the family preserve is not allowed, so he should spend his lonely hours looking for company that's available. What you have described isn't love; it's a scandal.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago I placed my second child for adoption. I was a single mom with a 3-year-old boy to raise and the father was in the military for an extended mission. I thought long and hard before I did it and decided that the gift I could give to another couple was better than the life I could offer a child as a single parent.

I am still in contact with the father. We speak often, comfort each other and just talk. Some people -- mainly men I have dated -- find this relationship disturbing. It has caused two relationships to end.

Abby, am I wrong to continue a friendship with the father of a child I gave up for adoption? I know that at some point the past needs to be the past, and I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Is it wrong to want to have that other person there to connect with me and understand firsthand what a hard life decision I went through? -- GIVEN UP SO MUCH ALREADY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR GIVEN UP SO MUCH: No, but if you are trying to cultivate and maintain a relationship with someone else, you need to recognize that clinging to the father of that child and talking to him "often" was somewhere between threatening and a turn-off for the men you were involved with. They should have been the ones providing understanding and comfort -- not him.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with my boyfriend for three years. We have often talked about a future together, complete with a house, kids, etc. I am the breadwinner while he is working hard to achieve success as an artist. The role reversal suits us just fine except for one thing. I would like to become engaged, but I feel I can't expect him to propose when I know he has very little money. Abby, should I propose to him? -- BREADWINNER IN NEW YORK, N.Y.

DEAR BREADWINNER: I don't see why not. It happens every day!

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