DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to the letter from "Petless in Maryland" (10/13), who moved without her dog, cat and goldfish, but wants to encourage her son's love of animals. Your advice was spot-on, but there is a deeper issue that was not addressed. By moving and leaving their pets behind, she has taught her son that animals are "disposable." An animal is a commitment for life, not an object to be disposed of once one's lifestyle changes. A pet is a member of the family, the same as a child or other family member.

"Petless" should have kept looking until they found an affordable place where they could keep their pets. The shelters are full of pets who have been abandoned by their families due to moves, divorces, etc.

"Petless" cannot afford the fees to keep a pet -- but I'm willing to bet that she can afford a cell phone, cable TV, etc. She missed a chance to teach her son how to be a responsible pet owner, and how to honor the commitment that was made to those pets. What a shame. -- RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER, READING, PA.

DEAR RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER: Your point is well-taken, and some readers did agree with you. However, not knowing the woman's circumstances, I am unwilling to judge her. Other readers did reach out to offer ways to encourage "Toby" to love animals and someday become a responsible pet owner. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: There are a lot of options for pet lovers without resources for permanent adoption. "Petless" could contact the local SPCA and other agencies that might be looking for volunteers to have "visits" with pets. There is also a pretty big market for "dog walkers." There is even a market for pet sitters, who do it to make extra money for their families. -- SANDI IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: There are rescue groups that have to put some of their adoptable dogs into boarding while they wait for a forever home. These dogs would love an hour or two of "breaking jail" for a walk or a trip to the dog park. A reputable organization would know the personalities of their dogs and be able to steer the mom toward "kid-tested" dogs that would get along great with her son. It would not only be an excellent way to encourage the boy, but also a wonderful thing for the dogs. -- ASHLEY IN SAN MARCOS, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: How about "Petless" contacting a senior center to see which seniors might need assistance with walking their dogs or with cat care? An assisted-living facility could also use this type of help. It would provide "Toby" a chance to share the love of animals, and the elderly residents would welcome such a sweet helper. -- PEGEEN IN RIO RANCHO, NEW MEXICO

DEAR ABBY: You frequently recommend readers seek therapy. I have been in therapy for eight years and see very little progress. Do you have any statistics that prove how helpful therapy actually is? -- SKEPTICAL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SKEPTICAL: Although I don't have statistics, I do have testimonials from individuals who have found therapy to be beneficial. I have printed some of them in this column. I do, however, have a suggestion for you: After eight years and "very little progress," you may be with the wrong person, and you should seriously consider changing therapists.

DEAR ABBY: My 1-year-old son and I spent the weekend at my parents' house. We had a wonderful time. Mom and Dad showered us with love and attention. It was like being at a resort even though their house is small. The size didn't matter until, at 4:30 a.m. through paper-thin walls, I was awakened by my parents making love.

Unfortunately, this was a familiar sound from my childhood. I didn't know how to handle it when I was growing up, and it appears, at 34, I still don't know what to say. I'm glad my parents still enjoy each other. My mother is sweet but becomes very defensive when confronted, and my dad is painfully shy. Should I talk to them about this, or just make arrangements to stay elsewhere the next time I visit? -- I CAN HEAR YOU IN MICHIGAN

DEAR I CAN HEAR YOU: The next time you plan to visit, make reservations at a nearby hotel. If you are asked why, just say that you are all adults and you all need your privacy. It's a tactful way to deliver the message without being "confrontational."

DEAR ABBY: Back in 1961 some neighborhood kids were showing off their "battle scars." The three children (who lived across the street) were certain they deserved a beating, but were clueless about why. It kept happening. The practice of keeping secrets was common back then, but I knew the beatings were wrong.

Decades later, I was visiting the now-grown daughter and her mother when the subject turned to child abuse. The mom turned to her daughter and commented, "You probably don't remember because you were only 6, but your dad used to get drunk and beat up you and your younger brothers. A neighbor found out, so your dad stopped drinking."

Abby, I was that neighbor. I was only 7 at the time, but I had read the Dear Abby column, which appeared on the comics page. My solution was to hang on that family's front door your mom's column saying that child abuse required the law's intervention. To the father's credit, the anonymous threat of losing his toddlers got him to stop.

That column was a lifesaver, and I thought you'd like to know. -- FRAN IN HONOKA'A, HAWAII

DEAR FRAN: You may have been young, but you certainly were precocious and proactive. I hope you realize that what you did not only saved the family, but also may have saved some lives.

P.S. And I'm sure the daughter did remember.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I disagree about giving alcohol as a holiday gift at a company party. He says it's always an acceptable gift, because even if people don't drink they can share it with future guests.

I think many people would be dismayed to receive alcohol. What do you think? -- SUSAN IN SOUTHERN OREGON

DEAR SUSAN: I agree with your boyfriend. The only time that alcohol would be an inappropriate gift is when the giver knows the recipient doesn't use it. If the person is "dismayed," it can always be regifted.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: The eight days of Hanukkah begin at sundown. (I cannot believe how early it has fallen this year.) Happy Hanukkah, everyone. A joyous Festival of Lights to all of you!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My children think that "because their friends can" they should be able to get, buy or do something. I encounter this problem often, especially when it's bedtime.

My children are 10 and 13, and they need to learn to appreciate the good parents they have because we don't give in to all of their requests. Abby, any suggestions that may help us with this situation would be appreciated. -- GOOD PARENTS IN WOODSTOCK, ILL.

DEAR GOOD PARENTS: At 10 and 13, your children are old enough to understand the concept that not all families are alike. Because a friend of theirs enjoys a privilege or has something they don't have does not mean that your children must.

I wish you had been more specific about the problem that occurs at bedtime. If they are arguing about the hour, they need to understand that for them to perform well in school they need a solid night's sleep. It is well-known that sleep-deprived kids can't learn.

If your children are asking for "things," then let me remind you that parents who grant a child's every wish fail to teach that child one of life's most important lessons: how to cope with disappointment. So please don't feel guilty about drawing the line, or asking your children how they plan to earn whatever it is they're asking for.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old college student who has found the man of my dreams. We have been dating for a year and a half and have been through a lot together. We both believe it is acceptable (and in our case, preferable) for a woman to be a stay-at-home mother and wife. I do not have a problem with having dinner on the table when he arrives home.

However, the number of people who have deemed our views "unacceptable" and "disgraceful" is astounding. I was actually spit on by a woman who accused me of being "the problem with women." She called me "weak" and a disappointment to womanhood across the nation. I'm so offended by her attack.

Am I wrong in thinking it is fine for a woman to be taken care of by her husband? Should I feel the need to be a working mom and wife? Am I too traditional for modern times? Please help me to see the whole picture. -- LUCKY LADY IN LARAMIE

DEAR LUCKY LADY: The personal attack on you was uncalled for, and the woman who spat on you was hardly a role model for liberated women across the nation. Whether you choose to try to juggle a marriage and a career is a personal decision. Not every woman is able to manage it successfully.

That said, many households in the U.S. are headed by single women, and it usually wasn't a matter of choice. That's why it's so important for women to complete their education before being married and to be qualified for a career should the need arise. And it's also why having a prenuptial agreement in place before heading for the altar is advisable.

While it isn't wrong to think it is fine for a woman to be taken care of by her husband, the truth is it doesn't always work out that way. And it couldn't hurt you to have a few years of work experience before starting a family -- just in case.