DEAR ABBY: I have heard of interventions for drug and alcohol addicts. Could I stage one for my daughter "Aileen's" addiction to texting on her cellphone and Facebook?

She and our grandson live with us because her marriage broke up. I am becoming the boy's default mother because Aileen is constantly texting or spending hours on Facebook. She'll say, "I have to send a quick message," then reappear an hour later. By then, we have fed our grandson and changed his diaper.

When I try to discuss this with her, she says her work requires this constant communication, but I know it doesn't. There have been times when Aileen's feelings have been hurt because her son doesn't want to go someplace with her and prefers to stay with us instead. I suspect that he feels ignored when he's with her because her thumb is constantly flying across her phone. How can we get her to understand how this might be making her child feel? -- FULLY PRESENT IN ARIZONA

DEAR FULLY PRESENT: You could and should stage an intervention with your daughter. Aileen is neglecting her son. It's a shame that before couples are allowed to conceive that they aren't forced to take parenting classes. The time she spends on Facebook and texting is time she should be interacting with him.

Because she is so easily distracted, you and her father should declare your home to be a digital-free zone unless your grandson is napping or in bed for the night. Consider making discussions with the boy's pediatrician -- and perhaps parenting classes -- a condition of her staying in your home. She won't like it, but it would be in your grandson's best interests.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a male in my 60s who has been active all my life and still try to be. However, I'm not dealing with the aging process very well. I have just been told that I'm going to lose my eyesight.

I have never been sick or hospitalized, no broken bones, no operations, ate right and consider myself in great health. But now I find myself taking naps a lot and not wanting to socialize very much. I have to force myself to do things.

I have always said one of these days it's going to start raining on me, and then it will be over. I don't like this attitude and I'm a great believer in faith. Any suggestions? -- MALE READER IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR MALE READER: I wish you had included your address and phone number because I would have contacted you personally. The first thing to do is get a second opinion regarding your vision loss. If the diagnosis is confirmed, there are devices available that can help some sight-impaired people. There are also programs to help you adjust to your vision loss and live an independent and full life. But you should start now.

Some of the symptoms you describe could be signs of depression. Please consult your physician about them. With counseling and medication, the "rain" in your life could be reduced to a drizzle you can handle. And hang onto your faith because it will serve you well.

DEAR ABBY: My husband brought me roses the day our divorce was final. We had been married almost 30 years. When I asked him why, he said, "Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted?" HE was the one who initiated the divorce. What kind of man would do this? -- STUMPED IN FLORIDA

DEAR STUMPED: Someone who is angry or sadistic, or one who got his wires seriously crossed.

DEAR ABBY: Every year across the United States and around the world, families must deal with the holiday season after the unthinkable has happened -- the death of a precious child.

In response to the need for grieving families to have one special day during the difficult holidays to remember, honor and reflect on the lives of these children who have died -- at any age and from any cause -- The Compassionate Friends, a national self-help support organization for families grieving the death of a child, created the Worldwide Candle Lighting. It is held the second Sunday of each December and is now in its 15th year. The event officially takes place at 7 p.m. local time for one hour and continues to grow larger every year.

The Compassionate Friends invites your readers to attend a service Dec. 11, to honor the lives of these children, or to light a remembrance candle at 7 p.m., wherever they may be, whether alone or with friends and family. They are also invited to visit The Compassionate Friends national website on the day of the Worldwide Candle Lighting and post a remembrance message in our online memory book. We do this so that their light may always shine, Abby. Thank you for spreading the message. -- PATRICIA LODER, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS/USA

DEAR PATRICIA: You're welcome. The holidays are an emotionally loaded time of year for many people. For families suffering from the loss of a child, it can be even more so. Thank you for the support you offer them.

Readers, on Dec. 11, services open to the public will be held throughout the day in hundreds of locations across the U.S., as well as in about two dozen countries around the world.

Services will be held by many of the Compassionate Friends' 630 U.S. chapters, as well as allied organizations, community groups, churches and houses of worship, funeral homes, children's memorial gardens, hospices, schools, cemeteries -- even community centers. To locate the nearest service and find out more information, you should visit www.compassionatefriends.org or call 877-969-0010.

DEAR ABBY: I moved out of my parents' house and have been working full time and supporting myself for three years. I love my life as a young adult.

This past year, my younger sister "Nicole" has been saying she wants to move in with me so she can get out of our parents' house and be closer to me. She earns twice as much as I do, and can easily afford her own place. I have not encouraged her because I enjoy living by myself.

Nicole and our parents are now accusing me of being a terrible sister and friend to her. She has been depressed, gone into therapy and has been cutting herself. I want to support my sister in any way I can, but I don't think her living with me will be the solution to her many problems. I don't want to cause a rift in the family, but I also don't want to be guilted into letting her move in. What should I do? -- ON MY OWN IN DENVER

DEAR ON YOUR OWN: Because your sister's depression is so severe that she's cutting herself, you are right in thinking her living with you won't be the solution to her problems. That she realizes she needs professional help and is getting it is a step in the right direction. You should not have your sister move in until and unless you have discussed it with her and her therapist and are satisfied it will be beneficial for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old girl who has a problem with my mom. Once a week we clean the house, which is fairly large. Even when I do a good job on every room my mom never says, "Nice job," "Good work," or even a simple "Thanks." It hurts my feelings because I thank her for all the things she does for me. Am I wrong to want or expect compliments in return? -- NEVER THANKED IN OREGON

DEAR NEVER THANKED: No, you're not wrong. I don't know anyone of any age who doesn't crave positive reinforcement. Have you mentioned to your mother how this makes you feel? Because if you haven't, you're expressing your disappointment to the wrong person.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and my parents have decided they want to have another kid. Shouldn't parents talk to their other children about this? None of us were asked for our opinion -- we were just informed.

Mom has had health problems almost my entire life, so I had to grow up extremely fast. I watched her have a seizure while we were out shopping, and she was often in the hospital. I don't want another child to go through this, too.

When I say something I'm told I'm being selfish and rude. This new baby is already loved more because my dad hopes she will be better than me. Am I wrong to feel this is unfair? -- UNHAPPY TEEN IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNHAPPY TEEN: Fairness may not enter into it at all. The reason you and your siblings were not asked for input about your mother having another child may be that the baby was as much a surprise to your parents as it is to all of you. Your complaining won't improve the situation, which may be why you've been told you need an attitude adjustment.

You say you grew up extremely fast. Well, it's time to accelerate the process even more. This isn't a competition for your parents' love. I'm sure they love all of you and they'd show it if you stopped being self-centered. Please give it some thought.

DEAR ABBY: Every year we send a holiday letter along with our greeting cards. The letter usually highlights events of immediate family members from the past year. This year there is a problem.

Our 22-year-old son, "Dexter," is in jail on burglary charges related to a drug problem. Many of our friends and relatives already know about this, but others are not aware.

Our son's siblings are doing well and we like to report on their activities. However, we are confused concerning Dexter. We really cannot send the holiday letter and leave him out, but neither can we fabricate a story concerning his status. Telling the truth would be informational but also awkward. We would appreciate your advice. -- HOLIDAY LETTER WRITER

DEAR LETTER WRITER: Write the letter as you usually would, and when you get to your incarcerated son, say: "Dexter has taken some time to rethink his future. He sends you all his love." You do not have to go into any more detail or belabor the point.