DEAR ABBY: I have a 12-year-old daughter who keeps telling me she knows Santa isn't real. "Angela" is an only child, so we don't have a younger child to worry about carrying on the tradition.

I keep telling her that I believe, and as long as she believes, Santa will come. Angela went so far this year to tell me that she won't write a letter to Santa to prove her point. I guess I have a problem admitting to my daughter that her father and I haven't been truthful all these years. I would love some advice on how to handle this. -- I BELIEVE, IN NAVARRE, FLA.

DEAR I BELIEVE: The jig is up. You're no longer fooling your daughter. By not leveling with her, the message you have been sending is that if she wants straight answers, she will have to go elsewhere to find them. Sit Angela down and explain that the spirit of Santa is embodied by loving parents who want their children to experience the wonder of the holiday as well as the pleasures it brings.

P.S. And if you haven't done so already, recant the story you probably told her about the stork.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for three years. I have started seeing a truck driver I'll call Ted. His job keeps him away from me a lot of the time. I'm used to being by myself, so it doesn't bother me that much. Ted calls and texts me all day, so the communication is there.

My family is telling me it will never work because I need someone with me in the evenings -- like my ex was. I say it will work because I'm used to being by myself now. Ted and I have a lot in common.

I guess what I'm asking is, should I pay attention to what my family is saying or tell them to mind their own business? -- OK BY MYSELF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR OK: Constant togetherness is no guarantee that a marriage will be successful. If it was, you wouldn't be divorced from your "ever-present" ex. When choosing a partner it is important to listen to both your heart and your head.

Continue the relationship and see how it plays out. Tell your family you appreciate their concern, but this is something you must decide for yourself. "Mind your own business" seems a bit harsh.

DEAR ABBY: I see a very skeletal woman every day at my gym. She does an hour on the sit-up machine. Her stomach sticks out like a person suffering from starvation. It hurts to look at her.

I feel I have a moral obligation to do or say something in case she is suffering from anorexia. However, I would not feel obligated to say anything to an obese woman at the gym. I am also afraid this person may have another condition that is causing her to waste away.

How should I offer support to her? Or should I just ignore her like the other people at the gym do? -- WORKING OUT WITH MY EYES OPEN

DEAR WORKING OUT: If you would like to reach out to her, be friendly, but do not comment on her appearance. As you get to know each other you will learn more about her condition -- if she has one. If you say anything right off the bat, it could be considered rude, nosy or insensitive, so I don't recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old woman and have been in a committed relationship with "Max" for six years. He proposed four years ago and I told him I wanted to marry him, except I wasn't ready at that time.

The years have gone by, and we have flourished as a couple. Most people would swear that we're already married. However, I have been worrying lately that I might have blown my chance for another proposal. Max doesn't mention marriage anymore except if I initiate conversation with a related topic. Some of our mutual friends are now engaged and Max has made no comment on the future of our relationship. He seems content in our current state.

I feel silly for wanting to be proposed to again, but it is important to me. I don't want to be pushy and force Max into it. Should I talk to him about it or wait it out and see? -- HOPEFUL FUTURE BRIDE IN NEVADA

DEAR HOPEFUL: Max is not a mind reader. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so if you want a second proposal, squeak up and tell him so. Because you put him off before, he may think you are still not ready for further commitment.

DEAR ABBY: I can't believe I'm actually writing to you, but I need an answer to this question. What is the time limit for acknowledging someone's attendance at a memorial service?

My mother passed away nine months ago. Our relationship had not been an easy one. She had been ill, but the end came very quickly. My youngest sister had died two years before.

To make a long story short, I went into a total meltdown. Life just stopped for me. Would it be appropriate to "come clean" and tell everyone that I was grossly overwhelmed (an understatement) with my grieving, or should I just send a short acknowledgment, thanking them for the time they took to attend my mother's memorial? -- WONDERING IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR WONDERING: Grief is an individual process. No two people grieve exactly alike, and most of us understand that. It is never too late to say thank you, and if you include an explanation with your acknowledgment, it would be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I am sending out our annual Christmas cards. I do not want to include my husband's name on them this year. We haven't spoken to each other in two years. We still occupy the same house -- but thank God it's large so we don't have to see each other often. We have a son away at college. Please tell me it is OK. -- MARRIED AND NOT, ALBANY, N.Y.

DEAR MARRIED AND NOT: If you follow your impulse and omit your husband's name from the cards, it will be like announcing that he is dead or that you have separated. While I sympathize with you, do not omit his name unless you are prepared to answer the questions that will surely follow. If you're ready to "make an announcement," then do as you wish.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 41-year-old female working on my associate's degree in paralegal studies. Most people I know tell me I'm attractive, and I do get some second looks from men, but there is one thing I think -- although I'm not sure -- that scares them away. I am disabled.

I dress well, am an average weight for my height, independent-minded, although not quite independent physically. I get around on crutches.

I live with my parents. I enjoy and participate in physical activities. I don't have a lot of friends, which is fine with me, but I do have a number of special ones. I try to make the best of my disability, and everyone I know, even strangers, tell me I do well and admire me for my courage and strength.

I should be happy with that, but sometimes it bothers me that I haven't found one man who can see past whatever it is that keeps them from liking me. I know a number of grumpy, unhappy, ungrateful women who abuse the men in their lives, and sometimes I can't help but wonder at how "blind" their partners are.

I am not desperate. I like my alone time. But it's a big, beautiful world out there, and I'd like to share it with someone. -- AT A LOSS IN OHIO

DEAR AT A LOSS: You need to widen your circle of acquaintances. Once you have completed your studies and have more time, make it your business to join local and state groups associated with your profession. While some people may be put off by your disability, not everyone will be. Many people with physical disabilities have romantic lives and good marriages to partners who see past their disabilities and recognize all of the things they can do.

P.S. I know I have said this before, but you should also consider volunteering some of your time to a cause that interests you because it's a great way to meet people.

DEAR ABBY: Last night I received a call from my almost-5-year-old granddaughter asking me for Santa Claus' phone number. It seems she is very angry at her daddy for calling her a brat because she wouldn't give him a hug. She wants to tattle on her daddy to Santa.

Her parents are not together. Her daddy's involvement has been only within the last year. She seemed very upset about the incident, and I want to make sure "Santa" gives her a good answer. I asked her to write a letter instead of phoning Santa to give me time for an answer. Did I do the right thing? -- GRANDMA T., PACIFIC GROVE, CALIF.

DEAR GRAMDMA T.: Yes. Once your granddaughter has written the letter to Santa you may find that she no longer dwells on what happened. However, if she continues to look for a reply, "Santa's" response should be that her daddy was hurt when she refused to give him a hug because daddies need love just as little girls do. But name-calling is wrong, no matter how old you are, and he shouldn't have called her a brat -- which is why he'll be getting a lump of coal in his stocking at Christmas.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: The eight days of Hanukkah begin at sundown. (I cannot believe how early it has fallen this year.) Happy Hanukkah, everyone. A joyous Festival of Lights to all of you!