DEAR ABBY: My younger sister "Lainie" is 14. She has had a smartphone for about a year. While I don't belong to any social media sites, Lainie is a social media junkie. She never goes anywhere without her phone. Sometimes she'll have her phone in one hand and her tablet in the other, taking turns when one or the other begins to bore her. It's almost impossible to interact with her because her face is buried in the virtual world just about every hour of the day and night.

I miss the way things used to be before she got that smartphone. I have talked about this with my parents. While they are equally concerned about Lainie's withdrawn, sometimes secretive behavior, they never do anything about it. What are your thoughts on this topic? -- GADGET GIRL'S SISTER IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR SISTER: It's common for teens to spend a lot of time on their phones and computers. But when they become withdrawn and secretive, it is time for a parental intervention. If your folks are equally concerned about your sister's behavior, they should step in, find out what's going on and do something about it, if necessary. If they don't already, they could start by scheduling family dinners during which cellphones are turned off or put away.

DEAR ABBY: Christmas is nearly here, and I'm concerned about my brother. I'm afraid he blames himself for his 28-year-old daughter's suicide, which was by no means his fault. This will be his first Christmas without her. I don't know what to do for him. Any suggestions? -- CHALLENGED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHALLENGED: When a close family member commits suicide, it is common for survivors to experience a range of emotions. Anger and guilt are two of them. If possible, encourage your brother to spend Christmas with you or other relatives. You should also suggest he join a survivors support group.

The American Association of Suicidology provides referrals to local self-help groups for survivors of suicide. Its website is www.suicidology.org. If he joins one, it will give him a place to talk about his feelings with people who will understand because they have them, too.

DEAR ABBY: A long time ago, I was dating and living with a wonderful woman. I was arrested and went to jail for possession of cocaine. She then had an order of protection issued against me for one year.

That was 10 years ago. I have been clean from drugs ever since. She has a child with another man now, and I hope everything is great. My problem is, I can't get her out of my mind. I miss her so much and just want the chance to be with her. Any advice? -- HEARTBROKEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your former girlfriend has gone on with her life, and your relationship is ancient history. If she had been willing to forgive you, she wouldn't have taken out the restraining order. If you want to be successful in moving forward in your life, stop looking backward. It's time to focus on your future.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for a year and a half, and we have an infant child. I work while my wife stays home. My problem is she doesn't like me playing sports and hanging out with friends.

I have tried to make concessions and cut down playing sports to once a week. (I used to play two or three times a week, but that's not good enough for my wife.) On game night, when I get home she gives me the silent treatment. She used to come to my games but won't now, even though she has girlfriends who attend them.

As for hanging out with my friends, I barely see them anymore -- and when I do, they come here. If they stay any longer than 30 minutes, it causes a problem and my wife again won't talk to me for the rest of the night.

I have tried to compromise, but she feels as though any time I spend away from her and the baby is a no-no. Am I wrong to want to play sports and see my guy friends? I have tried talking to her about this, but she thinks any compromise is basically me doing what I want and her having to deal with it. -- ONTARIO, CANADA, READER

DEAR READER: You should not become a couch potato or become isolated from your friends because you are married and a parent. And neither should your wife. She may resent the time you spend with your friends because she's stuck at home taking care of the baby. You are her only adult company, and in a way she may be jealous that you're enjoying freedom that she can't.

Your wife should not be doing all the parenting. One day or evening a week you should take care of the baby while she takes a break with her friends or family. It could do wonders for your relationship.

If you can agree on this, it could save your marriage. If you can't, then the two of you should get counseling. Marriage isn't supposed to put people in isolation -- and that's what it appears your wife is trying to accomplish with you.

DEAR ABBY: For the past 10 years, the holiday season has brought with it arguments between my wife and me. We both get along with our in-laws and do many things with both sides of our families. But for some reason, my wife makes arrangements for the holidays without discussing them with me first. This year, she told her mom we would host Thanksgiving and that I would have to tell my family we wouldn't be coming to them.

My wife's sisters are not close to their in-laws. Am I wrong to think she should have discussed the matter with me before deciding unilaterally what we're doing for the holidays? Our kids need to see all their grandparents on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh -- our parents live only seven minutes from each other. -- HOLIDAY BLUES IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HOLIDAY BLUES: What your wife did was inconsiderate. You are a couple, and she should have discussed her plan with you before issuing any invitations to see if you were in agreement. If your home is too small to accommodate both sets of in-laws at the same time, a compromise would be to alternate holidays with each set so no family feels excluded.

DEAR ABBY: Is it acceptable to wear a silver dress to a wedding if you are going as a guest and not a member of the bridal party? Or is silver too close to white and therefore taboo? -- INVITEE IN COLLEGE PARK, MD.

DEAR INVITEE: The rule is that wedding guests should not wear anything that might distract attention from the bride. If your dress is silver lame or covered in silver sequins, it would be better to dress less conspicuously.

DEAR ABBY: I married "Larry" five years ago, and he is good to me. I have two beautiful grandchildren who are my daughter's. If I don't see them once a week I miss them. (They are 2 1/2 and 16 months old.) Larry doesn't miss the babies or want to see them once a week. Sometimes when they come to the house, he doesn't speak to them or play with them. He says he wants his peace and quiet at the house.

Larry's great with the babies in public. He is also good about playing with our friends' kids. But he doesn't want the grandchildren to spend the night here because he doesn't want his sleep disturbed. (He can get up at 4 a.m. to go fishing, though.)

He has two sons and doesn't mind if he hears from them only twice a year. He's the type of person who says what he thinks without caring if it's rude or hurtful. If you don't like him, he can live without being friends with you. No one comes to visit us at our home.

I miss my family, my daughter and the babies. Do I leave? -- UNHAPPY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

DEAR UNHAPPY: If you are the one making all the concessions, make a list of Larry's good qualities, and then make one that includes how he refuses to compromise, makes you feel lonely and isolated, and says things without regard to whether they are hurtful to others. Place them side by side, and you will have your answer.

DEAR ABBY: After recently meeting my older brother's male roommate, a few things occurred that make me wonder if my brother is gay. Whether he is or not doesn't matter to me, and I don't feel it's my business to find out unless he chooses to share it with me.

Although I am a strong supporter of the gay and lesbian community, my concern is that because we were raised in an extremely conservative home, my brother may think I still hold those beliefs and may be reluctant to confide in me. I don't want to make a wrong assumption about his sexuality, nor do I want to force him out of the closet before he's ready. How can I let him know I support him, no matter what, without crossing the line? -- LIBERAL GIRL IN TEXAS

DEAR LIBERAL GIRL: There are ways to communicate your feelings to your brother without being direct. If you are still in school, consider joining a gay/straight alliance. If you see something in the news about a gay issue, call it to his attention and say something positive. Or, if you think that might make him uncomfortable, how about giving him a hug and telling him how lucky you feel to have him as a brother and that you will love him forever? (Come to think of it, a straight sibling might also appreciate hearing it.)

DEAR ABBY: Does being invited to an engagement party "guarantee" you will also be invited to the wedding? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Yes, it does. And for that not to happen is a huge breach of etiquette on the part of whoever is hosting the wedding, whether it's the bride's parents or the couple themselves.