DEAR ABBY: I have been single for five years. I recently reconnected with a man I lost contact with 13 years ago. We went out a few times and it was wonderful.

Out of curiosity, I began checking him out online, starting with his mother, who he had mentioned was a surgeon. When I could find no information on her, I started looking up other things. Abby, I could find nothing about him or his family. His mother does not have a medical license, and there are no property records or any record of a marriage license to his second wife.

When I confronted him, he was furious and accused me of not trusting him. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm heartbroken. I loved him years ago and thought this was for real.

I feel guilty for not trusting him, even though I know he hasn't been honest with me. Is it wrong to do background checks on people you date? -- DATING A MAN WHO DOESN'T EXIST

DEAR DATING: It isn't wrong to do some checking. In fact, these days it's very common. But I wonder, having known this man years ago, what made you curious enough to double-check? Also, how good are you at research? And when you "confronted" him, were you hostile, which would have made him react defensively?

Please do not waste another minute feeling guilty about this. If he isn't the person he portrayed himself to be, you may have dodged a bullet.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old son is a great winner when we play games, but he's a terrible loser. When he loses a game, he loses control. He screams, yells, hits and sometimes bites. Is there a way to stop this behavior or am I stuck with a son who hates to lose? -- LOSING THE BATTLE AT HOME

DEAR LOSING THE BATTLE: You have described a child who is unable to handle frustration or control his emotions. When a child is 2 or 3, this kind of behavior is understandable. But by age 7, your son should have learned to manage his frustration more appropriately.

If his poor sportsmanship continues, it will cause problems with his peers. You should discuss this with him while he is rational, BEFORE you play any games with him. Explain that games are supposed to be fun, and "when we lose, we are given the chance to learn from our mistake." The same is true in sports. Athletes use their mistakes to improve their skills.

It might also be helpful to impose consequences when your son acts out. But if that doesn't help him, then you should have him evaluated physically and neurologically to make sure there is nothing medically wrong with him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 11-year-old girl, and my mom has a boyfriend who lives with us. Mom said that he comes first in her life. When she told me that, I felt like she didn't love me anymore. He tries to be my father, acts like he owns the house and gets me in deep trouble. I have considered moving in with my dad. What should I do? -- PRETEEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR PRETEEN: Now that your mother has made her priorities clear, I think it is time you discussed this with your father. If he is willing and able to take care of you, you might be better off living with him.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 45 years is having an online affair with a man who is a former business client. I found out when she inadvertently left an email message open on her laptop. Her phone records confirm daily long-distance conversations, as well. Although I know they have never met personally, they plan to meet during a weekend convention at a hotel in his hometown next month.

Despite problems in our marriage, neither of us has strayed, and I'm confident she doesn't want to lose me nor do I want to lose her. My dilemma is whether to tell her I know what's going on prior to her trip, or confront her when she returns with pictures taken by a private investigator. I can't let her betrayal continue. -- CONFLICTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFLICTED: Tell her sooner rather than later, so she can cancel her trip to the convention. If she's willing to do that and work on repairing your marriage, there is a chance that your problems are fixable. If she isn't, then face it -- your stressed marriage is over. Photos from a private investigator are beside the point. The email you read is proof enough.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my friend went to a wake and told me the person in the casket was holding a fork. My friend told me there is a story behind this custom. Can you tell me what it is? -- DAILY READER IN WEST PALM BEACH, FLA.

DEAR DAILY READER: The story, titled "Keep Your Fork," has been widely shared on the Internet. It appeared in "A Third Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul" and was authored by Roger William Thomas.

It concerns a young woman who had been given only a short time to live, and who instructed her pastor that she would like to be buried with a fork in her right hand. She went on to say, "In all my years of attending church potluck dinners, when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would say, 'Keep your fork.'"

She said the main course was her favorite part of the meal because she knew "something better was coming ... something wonderful, and with substance." What she wanted was to convey to her loved ones at her funeral her belief that something better was to come.

DEAR ABBY: I have reconnected with my high school sweetheart. We plan to be married late this summer. My problem is she wants to keep her ex-husband's name as her middle name for the sake of her kids.

I feel she shouldn't have another man's name if she's married to someone else. I have explained that it upsets me, but she doesn't care. What are your thoughts? -- TRADITIONAL MAN

DEAR TRADITIONAL: I think her reason for wanting to retain her married name (and probably hyphenate it with yours) is a valid one. It will prevent confusion for her children at school.

However, one line in your letter concerns me. It's the one in which you say it upsets you, "but she doesn't care." If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't be marrying you. But her children MUST come first, and unless you can accept that fact, you shouldn't marry her.

DEAR ABBY: Should I or shouldn't I tell my boss that more than a few people have come to me asking if he is fooling around with a young woman here in the office?

He is married; she is not. They spend a lot of time together "just visiting," laughing and obviously flirting. They have also been seen coming and going together, having lunch together every day, etc.

My reaction is that whether they are or aren't, it isn't my business. A little voice keeps telling me that, as his personal secretary, he may want to be made aware that people are talking about him behind his back, and I do feel protective and a sense of loyalty to him. Understand that I do not want to discuss it with him, have verification, denial or anything else -- only to give him the information. -- VACILLATING IN OHIO

DEAR VACILLATING: If there is anything going on in your employer's business that distracts from the work his employees are doing, he should be made aware.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I relocated to a new state and bought my first home. I have enjoyed the privacy I have had while living on my own. However, because of the economy, I may need to rent out my extra room to make ends meet.

I have gotten used to a clothing-optional lifestyle and spend most of my time outdoors sunning, swimming and doing yard work in the buff. I also enjoy being indoors lounging, doing chores and sleeping the same way.

Would it be OK for me to advertise for someone who also enjoys this? Can I continue my lifestyle "au naturel" or must I go back to covering? -- NEVADA NUDE DUDE

DEAR NUDE DUDE: While practically anything goes in the want ads and on the Internet, your best bet would be to Google "nudists (or naturists) in Nevada." When you do, you will find contact information for nudist resorts and clubs, and your chances of finding a renter who won't be shocked or offended will be better.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I love each other and have three beautiful children, but we struggle in our marriage because of the stress of daily life. Lack of money has taken a toll. Sometimes we both work two jobs. Other times we find ourselves faced with difficult choices -- like whether to buy groceries, or pay the electric bill or the mortgage. (We often can't do all three.)

I know we're not the only family in this situation. You often advise people to seek guidance from a professional counselor. Can you share any resources for those of us who do not have the money or the insurance coverage to pay for counseling? -- HOLDING ON IN ARKANSAS

DEAR HOLDING ON: You are far from the only family who is trying to cope with little money and difficulty finding steady work. Many thousands of families are in the same situation -- and it is stressful for marriages and relationships.

Because you are unable to afford a private therapist, contact your county department of mental health and ask what services are available for people with limited resources. The psychology department at your nearest college or university may also be able to help during this difficult time.