DEAR ABBY: My friend's husband has been writing a novel for several years. He just self-published it, and it's available on Amazon. He gave me a copy, asked me to read it and enter a great review on the Amazon page. The problem is the book is filled with misused and misspelled words, and there is missing punctuation. He even switched the names of two characters. (His wife, who is a "perfectionist," was his editor.)

Aside from the fact that I don't want to finish the book, I know he or my friend will ask me how I liked it. I don't want to lie because I'm afraid if someone else brings these things to their attention, they'll know I didn't read it or think I should have told them. I know they will be embarrassed if I bring it to their attention.

Frankly, I think it's too late to say anything negative because the book has already been printed. I also don't want to cause hurt feelings because I know how long he worked on this project and he's proud of it. How do I handle this? -- READER IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR READER: He's a friend, right? And you're only a reader, not a literary critic whose credibility will suffer if you don't point out every flaw. Find SOMETHING you liked about the book and mention that on the Amazon page. You could call it a "page turner" because you had to turn from Page 1 to Page 2, didn't you?

In a case like this, less is more. And remember, you're doing this in the capacity of being a friend, not an English teacher.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose son was involved in a shooting which ended in a death in her house. Should I send food, flowers and a nice note in the mail or stand back and not intrude? I sent a text asking if she was OK and if I could do anything for her family, but I don't know what else to do. We are more than acquaintances but less than great friends. -- UNSURE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNSURE: If the funeral has been held, your friend does not need flowers. At a time like this, she could use some moral support. Call her and tell her you would like to bring some food over and ask what she may need. Then bring it to her, and be ready to listen if she wants to talk. Your presence and your caring will be meaningful, because when a tragedy like this happens, people don't know what to say, which isolates the person who is grieving.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago I was involved in an unhealthy relationship for me and my children. Despite what everyone said, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He ended up assaulting me and my kids.

For two months I struggled with depression, and I admit I wasn't the responsible parent I should have been. Child Protective Services took the children. I hold myself accountable for my actions and my failure.

My parents are angry with me because of poor choices I made in the past and treat me like the black sheep of the family. Granted, my mother, brother and I all have issues stemming from the past, but I'm tired of playing the guilt card, tired of playing the victim and tired of not having my family back me up at a time when I need their support to regain custody of my kids.

I miss my family and what good times we did have. How do I even begin to put the pieces back together on a very broken family? -- THE BLACK SHEEP

DEAR BLACK SHEEP: Fixing your broken family is something all of you must be willing to work on together, or it won't be successful. Because your mother and brother are unwilling, what you need to do is start fixing yourSELF.

Regaining custody will depend upon your ability to establish your independence, support your children and yourself financially, and start counseling to deal with your issues so you won't get into another destructive, abusive relationship. It will take work and time, but if you can do it -- and I think you can -- your mother and brother will respect you for it. And you will be stronger and healthier because you will no longer be so needy.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Gene" for three years, living together for a year and a half. We're both divorced and love each other very much.

Our biggest problem is, he doesn't keep a "normal" schedule. Gene eats at odd hours, exercises at the strangest times and will stay awake 'til the wee hours of the morning, then crash for a day or so. He seems unfazed by this wackiness. He's responsible, holds a good job and comes from a terrific family, but his habits are taking a toll on me.

There are days when I want him home for dinner, or I want to cuddle with him. I want a normal schedule. This is tricky because I have accepted his lifestyle and now the brakes have come on for me. Gene doesn't understand my sudden change of attitude, and frankly, neither do I.

Do I have only two choices -- accept him for who he is or find someone who follows a more conventional schedule? I love him so much that leaving would be very hard to do. -- WANTS A NORMAL LIFE

DEAR WANTS: It would be interesting to know what Gene does for a living. Does he work in a casino? Show business?

It's possible your change in attitude has come about because you now realize that you might be living his unconventional lifestyle for the rest of your life. Compromises you could make on a temporary basis can seem daunting when you see they'll be permanent.

If you need someone who lives his life on a normal schedule, one of you will have to make some changes. You will either have to accept this as your future or Gene will have to change his lifestyle. Because he seems to thrive on the schedule he's living on, the adjustment may be very difficult for him.

TO MY READERS: Have a happy, healthy and safe Fourth of July, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who has had a difficult, distant relationship with my only brother, "Bill." He has made many nasty, homophobic remarks, and my partner, "Jon," has been excluded from many family gatherings. Because Jon wasn't welcomed I also did not attend those gatherings, and I endured further wrath because I didn't.

Bill's daughter has just announced that she is a lesbian. His reaction is mystifying. He has embraced her and her partner and has lovingly included them into the heart of the family.

I am happy that my niece has found love and support. I am also jealous that she has a better father than I did a brother. Are my feelings justified? -- SAD SIBLING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SAD SIBLING: Of course your feelings are justified. You are human, and your skin isn't made of Teflon. It's sad that your brother couldn't have treated you and Jon with more compassion and understanding.

I find it interesting how people's perspective can radically change when a child of theirs is involved. Now let's see if your brother's attitude toward you changes, and how forgiving you and your partner can be if it does.

DEAR ABBY: I bought a friend a gift recently. Her response? "You should have just given me the money because I really need it." A few years ago, I was going to buy another friend an expensive pair of shoes and she convinced me not to because she said she could buy 10 pairs from a discount store for the amount I was planning to spend.

I love giving gifts during the holidays and for birthdays, and enjoy choosing things I think my friends might like or need. I hate giving money! Isn't part of the gift-giving experience for the giver, too?

I feel it should be my choice to buy whatever I want for someone, and their response should just be, "Thank you." It irks me when people dictate to me what I should give them. Am I just being a control freak, or do I have the wrong idea of gift-giving? -- GIFT GIVER IN TEXAS

DEAR GIFT GIVER: A thoughtful gift giver selects things the recipient can use and enjoy. A grateful recipient doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth and say she'd prefer the cash.

However, the woman who convinced you not to spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of designer shoes she might not be able to return was, I think, doing both of you a favor. While it's your prerogative to give whatever you want to whomever you want, don't you think it makes more sense to bestow something the person can use and enjoy than to satisfy your ego?

DEAR ABBY: Can you settle a dispute for me? When you go up to a house with two doors -- a regular door and a screen door -- and there is no doorbell, is it proper to open the first door and knock on the second door or is it considered rude? -- KNOCK, KNOCK

DEAR KNOCK, KNOCK: Because in the absence of a doorbell the only way you can make your presence known would be to knock, open the screen door and knock. Then step back and close the screen door so you're not intruding on the space of the person who answers it.