Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I recently enrolled in an internet dating site, and have been cyber-chatting with a very sweet gentleman. I am also 62 years young. My problem is I'm borderline obese, have gray hair, a few wrinkles and some dental problems. It's the reason I don't post photos of myself.

Someday, he may want to meet face-to-face, and I am more petrified than 2,000-year-old wood! He sounds and speaks so well -- soft and gentle. My heart has butterfly-wing feelings, not the head-over-heels emotions I had when I first met my late husband. Should I keep texting this gentleman, or just fade away from him? -- IS BEAUTY MORE THAN SKIN DEEP?

DEAR SKIN DEEP: Keep texting him, of course! Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That said, if your weight and dental problems are affecting your self-esteem, perhaps it's time you dealt with them rather than use them as an excuse to cut and run.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the last year and a half. He is good to me and good to my 11-year-old daughter.

Recently, a man I have known for 40 years -- but have been in and out of touch with -- appeared back in my life. He was my first kiss at 6, and there were many unresolved feelings that I felt needed exploring. My daughter caught on and told me if I gave up my current relationship she would never forgive me, so I ended the relationship with my old friend, which left him with bitter feelings. Did I do the right thing? -- BITTER FEELINGS

DEAR BITTER: Because you felt it was appropriate to allow an 11-year-old to dictate your future, then yes, I suppose you did the right thing. In any case, it's a little late to second guess yourself now.

DEAR ABBY: This year I have the opportunity to travel to Europe with some friends. One of them, however, has the tendency to burp loudly when we are in public. She often does it at restaurants or other sit-down areas. I have tried telling her it's rude and disrespectful, but she doesn't care.

I don't want to go to Europe and have her burping in front of other people. I don't want to be labeled as a disrespectful tourist because of her. Is there anything I can say to her? Or is this a problem that I shouldn't get involved with? -- EMBARRASSED FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Could your friend have a medical problem that causes her to burp? If so, that may be why it happens and you shouldn't criticize her for it. However, if that's not the case, because her behavior causes you embarrassment, either rethink traveling with her or make sure you sit far away from her in public places.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-boyfriend and I broke up two years ago. We were together for nearly three years. A year into our relationship, we rescued a puppy. We broke up when she was 2. Since then, we have shared her on and off. This arrangement worked fine because we have both been single.

I am now in a new relationship and feel that my ex and I should cut ties. We recently had a falling out, but he still wants to share the dog "until she is no longer in the picture."

Abby, I don't feel that it's feasible for us to continue sharing our dog for the next 12 to 15 years. My ex has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and I know she helps him. However, I feel like I can provide a better home for her and give her more attention. How do we decide who gets to keep the dog? -- STILL IN THE PICTURE

DEAR STILL IN THE PICTURE: You have a new boyfriend. Your ex has PTSD and needs her more than you do. Unless the animal was somehow mistreated when she was with him, let him have her.

DEAR ABBY: I work as a medical receptionist for a busy private practice. We get a lot of patients from other countries, and English is not their primary language. Speaking to these patients over the phone is often very difficult. How can I ask nicely for patients to constantly repeat themselves? I need to make sure I have the correct information so the doctor can treat the patient properly. -- RECEPTIONIST IN MARYLAND

DEAR RECEPTIONIST: Ask your employer how he or she wants those calls handled. There is no crime in repeating and re-repeating important information to be sure it is right. If the patient has a family member who accompanies him/her to appointments, perhaps it can be arranged that that person call the doctor's office to convey any necessary information.

DEAR ABBY: For my birthday my husband bought me an expensive designer purse. It was a dream come true to own this purse and I love it. My problem is it's so expensive that I'm embarrassed to wear it around in public. I don't want to look like a show-off. I don't know why I care, and probably most people don't care about what kind of purse I'm carrying. Why can't I enjoy the gift from my husband? -- SECRET IN THE CLOSET

DEAR SECRET: Not everyone is comfortable displaying the fact they have the kind of disposable income that affords them the ability to buy luxury goods. There are multiple reasons for this. Some women don't want the attention, others feel guilty that they have the money while their friends do not, some are afraid that if they "flash" it will excite jealousy, and others fear for their safety.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend in her mid-40s who has naturally dark hair she keeps cut short. It looked fine.

A few months ago, she bleached her hair platinum blond. She said she was going for a look that will include dark roots, but she has kept the roots platinum, so now her hair just looks white -- especially in pictures. She posted photos of herself with her boyfriend on Facebook, and while I was scrolling down, my initial reaction was, "Who is that elderly woman he's sitting with?"

A mutual friend commented to me how bad my friend's hair looks and how aging it is. Should I mention to her that her hair color makes her look 20 years older? Telling someone her hair doesn't look good can be hurtful, but if it were me, I'd want to know. -- HELPFUL IN HAWAII

DEAR HELPFUL: Be diplomatic, but tell her. A tactful way to lead in would be to say you saw the pictures she posted on Facebook and the platinum hair makes her look "older." However, unless she asks how much older, don't volunteer, because if you say it's two decades, she may take offense.

DEAR ABBY: What is the rule for tipping in drive-thrus? I never thought a tip was necessary in places like that. If the service is good, a tip is warranted. Now many drive-thrus have a tip jar out on the ledge of the window.

It's like everyone seems to think they deserve one. A tip is expected when you get your vehicle inspected, your tires changed, your oil changed, manicures and hairstyling, among other things. How much is appropriate to tip for services? I certainly don't want to devalue someone's service if times have changed and this is commonplace. -- DRIVE-THRU TIPPING

DEAR DRIVE-THRU: For restaurant servers, hairstylists and manicurists, a 15 to 20 percent tip is expected. The same is true for taxi drivers, hotel personnel and skycaps. In other situations, a tip may be offered when the service performed has been exceptional.

If the service you received at the drive-thru was prompt, your order was correct and the person at the window was pleasant and helpful, either give the workers a couple of dollars or the loose change that's returned to you. However, a tip is not required.

DEAR ABBY: A woman friend of mine is angry at me because I have started dating a mutual friend of ours. She says when someone wants to date someone's friend, the polite thing to do is ask how the friend feels about it. Mind you, the man I'm going out with isn't her ex and was as good a friend to me as he was to her. If I had discussed the matter with her, what difference would it have made? She doesn't own him. Does her logic make sense to you? -- FREE AGENT IN TEXAS

DEAR FREE AGENT: No. Your "friend" has no prior claim on the man you're dating. That she would try to insert herself into your romantic life makes no sense, and you would be foolish to allow it.