DEAR ABBY: I am writing you about dating in these modern times. Lately I have become perplexed at the vanity and immoral behavior now associated with the task of dating. I'm a single man living by myself with no responsibilities but my own. I am looking for someone who will fit into my lifestyle. Unfortunately, I have encountered some roadblocks that keep me single.

First: I am not looking for a ready-made family.

Second: I'm not in a position to analyze her last relationship, which left emotional baggage.

Third: I am definitely not looking for someone who isn't business- or life-orientated.

What I want to find is someone who doesn't have a long history of suitors or life issues that cause further relationship problems. How do I go about separating the disposables from the possibles? -- DATING IN 2019

DEAR DATING: I find it interesting that nowhere in your letter have you given the impression that you are capable of compromise. I don't know where you are looking, but I suppose you could eliminate hundreds of candidates from your search simply by reading their resumes and swiping left. However, when you do that, you eliminate women who might make excellent life partners if given the chance.

Successful mature relationships require flexibility and empathy, and you appear to not understand that. Please consider what I have said. You will find what you are looking for by associating with like-minded individuals and telling them you are looking. Broadening your search in this way could yield surprising results.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother died suddenly two years ago. He was only in his 30s. After his death I found out he had been homeless and living out of his car. I blame myself for not knowing and not being there when he needed someone.

My siblings seem to have gotten over it, but even after my weekly therapy sessions I can't seem to stop crying when I see his picture or hear his name. Is something wrong with me because I can't seem to let go? It's so bad that I can't visit his grave because I get panic attacks on the way there. -- STILL GRIEVING IN MONTANA

DEAR STILL GRIEVING: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your older brother. If you were unaware of his financial situation and that he was homeless, it was likely because he didn't want you to know. So stop blaming yourself for it.

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist regularly, because when a person has experienced a loss like yours and is grieving as you are, therapy can help to relieve the guilt and trauma survivors sometimes feel after the death of a loved one. However, because you have been in therapy for the length of time you have and are not making progress, it may be time to consider changing therapists.

DEAR ABBY: I'm currently in a mental hospital. I have been in and out for years because of suicide attempts and drug use. My drug of choice is crystal meth, and it has been a vicious cycle.

I'm 19 and will be 20 soon. I would like to share my story with your readers, young and old, who may feel lost or alone. I was sexually abused and have prostituted myself for drugs when I was desperate. I'm going through intensive treatment now. When I was at my lowest, my family looked the other way.

What I want to tell people is to get help if they are contemplating suicide. I want them to know their lives are valuable. I struggle with hallucinations, and it's scary at times. But no matter what we go through in life, we must remember that we were built to be resilient. I believe in our strength. Thanks, Abby. -- OVERCOMING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR OVERCOMING: I believe in your strength as well, and I'm glad that you are getting treatment. Recovery from addiction can be a daily challenge, which takes courage and determination. You appear to have both.

I am printing your letter because it carries an important message for anyone who is feeling suicidal. The phone number of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800-273-8255, and it is toll-free.

DEAR ABBY: I work in close quarters with two women. They often talk politics, and I am very aware of their views. They asked me if I was voting in the midterms, and I answered in the affirmative, but offered no details as my vote is my personal business.

Since then, I have been told, "You are part of the problem." "People like you ..." and, "It must be nice to not care." I don't know how to respond to these hurtful comments, which make me feel terrible. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I don't think it's appropriate to discuss this at work in the first place.

I am not sure how to handle this if it continues. I don't want these women to hate me. I respect them, but this is a sensitive topic. -- NOT THE PLACE

DEAR NOT THE PLACE: I agree that, for the most part, discussing politics in the workplace is inappropriate because there are bound to be disagreements, which are not conducive to a pleasant environment. Hopefully, now that the midterms are behind us, the hostility will die down -- at least for a while.

If it persists, tell your co-workers that what they are doing is hurtful and you want them to stop. And if they don't, then discuss it with your supervisor or employer because what they are doing is creating a hostile working environment.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine is a pretty fair oil painter. She occasionally sells one. I would like to buy a painting she recently finished. She quoted me a price, but phrased it as a question, "Does $-- sound OK?" Would it be rude if I offered her less than that for the painting? -- BETTER OFFER IN THE WEST

DEAR BETTER OFFER: No, it would not be rude. It's common for buyers to negotiate the price of art objects. It is done all the time, and she shouldn't take offense if you offer her what you think is a fair price. Remember, if she doesn't agree, she can make a counteroffer.

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law gave me a tablet that he was not using, as he had upgraded. He removed most of his information. When I went to set up my accounts, I noticed his list of apps and passwords was still present and saw four accounts to an adult dating site.

My daughter and SIL have been together/married for four years. The tablet is less than 2 years old. I don't know what to do: (1) act like I never saw it, (2) tell him what I found and hope for a good explanation, or (3) tell my daughter. This will destroy her. Please help! -- SIGN ME DEVASTATED

DEAR SIGN ME: Tell your son-in-law what you found and ask for an explanation. What he tells you will determine what steps you should take next.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and my best friend, "Bridget," do not get along. They remain civil most of the time, but one thing is threatening to ruin the peace.

When Bridget visits, she likes to bring along little toys and treats for my cats. That's fine, but she also opens bags of loose catnip and sprinkles it throughout the house. My husband hates it because the catnip gets everywhere, and it's a chore to clean up. When he politely asked Bridget to stop, she told him to "stuff it" and said the cats like it.

She continues to do it every time she comes over, and my husband has grown more and more upset. I'm not sure how to mediate this. What can I do? -- CAT-ASTROPHE IN ATLANTA

DEAR CAT-ASTROPHE: At this point, Bridget isn't bringing the catnip over because she thinks your cats like it. She's doing it to antagonize your husband. If you continue allowing her to do this, it could affect your relationship with your husband, so if you're smart, you will back him up and tell her to cut it out. (Meow!)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a medical student who has been battling depression over the past few months. I didn't do well on a recent very important exam, and I've sunk even deeper into my depression.

I have tried reaching out to fellow classmates about it, but they tell me to just suck it up or assume I want attention. I tried talking to my family, but ever since the loss of a beloved pet, my parents are having a difficult time emotionally, and I don't want to trouble them even further.

I feel trapped and lonely and there's only so much more I can take of putting on a mask every day to pretend I'm happy. I'm not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- LONELY AND DEPRESSED IN CHICAGO

DEAR LONELY: Putting on a mask isn't the solution. The problem with depression is that, like any other untreated illness, it can grow worse. Because your depression began before that exam, I'm recommending you consult one of the psychiatrists at the medical school for guidance. Please don't wait to do it. You should also tell your parents, pet death or no pet death, because they need to know as well.