DEAR ABBY: I am a guy who is 27. I have always been somewhat shy and reserved, but I do like people and I like mixing. After more than a year of being "locked down" during the COVID-19 pandemic, although I was fine being housebound, I started missing human contact.

Social opportunities are opening up for me now, and though I was never great in conversations at parties, my "time away" has made me rusty. I believe you have written some pointers for being better in social situations. Can you give me a quick refresher course? Thanks, Abby! -- READY TO BE BACK OUT THERE

DEAR READY: I'm happy to try. The first thing to understand is that social adeptness is a skill. No one is born with it. It has to be learned. With practice, it can be "polished" until it becomes second nature.

Part of being social is showing an interest in other people. Encourage them to share their interests and opinions. Ask them to tell you about themselves and what they think. Ask their opinions and, when they tell you, be a good listener. Cultivate your own interests so you will have something to share with them.

I publish a booklet (which is probably what you were alluding to in your letter) titled, "How to be Popular" that contains many useful tips for polishing social skills. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. It is meant for people of all ages and covers a variety of situations. (If parents, teachers and clergy know someone who needs help in this regard, it might make an inexpensive gift that could change the course of a person's life.)

When you receive it, don't read it just once. Keep it handy for reference because it contains many helpful suggestions about how to be the kind of individual others find interesting and attractive. The keys to being socially successful are: Be kind. Be honest. Be tactful. Offer a compliment if you think it is deserved. And if you become anxious, remember: People can think of only one thing at a time. Forget about yourself and concentrate on the other person. Try it and you'll find it works like a charm.

DEAR ABBY: Lately my best friend has been assuming the role of the masculine lesbian in our duo. I'm tired of making cute outfits, and I want a turn to dress as the male. How do I subtly hint that we need a role switch-up? -- CURIOUS & CONFUSED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR CURIOUS & CONFUSED: Hint? Why hint? Choose a time when you are both calm and relaxed and tell her what you need. You have a right to do that, and if she cares about you, she should be willing to accommodate you.

TO MY READERS: Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement begins at sundown. During this 24-hour period, observant Jewish people fast, engage in reflection and prayer, and formally repent for any sin that might have been committed during the previous Hebrew year. To all of you who observe -- may your fast be a meaningful one.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently without a job. I hesitated to inform my mother because I was sure her reaction would only add to my stress. I was right. She constantly corners me about my efforts to find a job. I talk to her nearly every day to keep up with how she and my stepfather are doing. Because she never fails to dig into me about my job search progress, I now find ways to shorten our conversations.

I can get a job or two to sustain my living expenses for the time being. However, I'm trying to hold out for a job or career that connects to my soul passion. Working for decades in a job that sustains me and my children is no match for the longing of my passion. (I'm still not sure what it is.)

How do I curb my mother's pushing me for a resolution without coming off as annoyed, which I am? I'm sure she wants to express her concern, but I want support in my efforts without feeling condemned. Help me, please. -- ANNOYED IN ALABAMA

DEAR ANNOYED: I will try. Because you still aren't sure what your "soul passion" is, it's time to find out. A place to start might be a career counseling center (some universities have them). Contact one or more and inquire whether they offer career counseling and aptitude testing. The test results will tell you what you are best suited for.

Of course, this service is not offered for free, which is why you might want to buckle down and take a job or two in the meantime to afford it, as well as to feed your little family. As to your mother, who may be worried because you don't yet have a plan of action, explain to her about seeking career counseling and she may calm down.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man, "Carson," on and off for about five years. Last year, when I asked him if we were exclusive, he quickly said no, so I went and slept with an ex and became pregnant. I didn't reach out to Carson because I thought the baby belonged to my ex, but when the baby was born I quickly realized she might be Carson's. When I told him, he immediately denied she was his but still rekindled our relationship. Abby, he disappears frequently and doesn't answer my calls. What should I do? Leave him? Stay? I do love him. -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: Have your child DNA-tested. If it proves she is Carson's, he should be contributing to his daughter's support. (The same goes for anyone else you think could be the father.) It's important that you understand this man behaves the way he does because he is not in love with you and doesn't care about your feelings. He sees other women, just as he did the first time around. If this is the way you want to be treated, continue this relationship. If, however, you think you deserve something -- ANYthing -- better, end this poor excuse for a romance now.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of 40 years is always saying what she can't afford, yet she owns property, has a 401(k), always finds additional work in her field and buys the cheapest groceries. She won't spend a dime, even when it's necessary.

In a recent text she was going on again about money. When I (jokingly) quipped, "You're probably a millionaire by now!" she jumped on me as if I'd called her the B-word and went off on a rant. I was dumbfounded. I apologized because she felt I'd badly offended her by calling her a "millionaire." When she didn't respond, I left it alone. This was a few days ago. This morning I got a text from her as if nothing happened.

I'm no longer feeling like I'm her "friend." Looking back, she was never a good hostess when I flew out of state to visit her. Nor has she ever treated me for lunch or dinner, although I was happy to treat her to lunch when she came to visit. I don't feel the caring, generous, giving aspect that usually goes with long-term friendship. When she was down financially, I offered. I haven't experienced the same from her. I feel shot down and ready to call it quits. Your expert advice is most appreciated and needed. -- FALLING OUT OF FRIENDSHIP

DEAR FALLING OUT: Before ending a 40-year friendship, please tell this woman she hurt your feelings. Then ask why your casual comment triggered such a strong reaction. Her response to your reasonable question will tell you everything you need to know about whether your relationship is salvageable.

DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mom of a 4-year-old son who is the light of my life. I truly enjoy our days together. For various reasons, my husband and I have decided he will be our only child. He will soon be in school almost full time and I will be returning to work. When I think about it, I get depressed. These have been the best years of my life, and I think I made a mistake letting my son become my "reason" for happiness. I know we will make many more memories together, but I feel like it's kind of the end of an era and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Can you advise? -- MOMMY MOVING FORWARD

DEAR MOMMY: This may be "the end of an era," but it is also the beginning of a new one. Your son is about to experience the first of many growth spurts, and you along with him. In addition to his academic lessons, he's going to learn how to become independent and relate to other children. Both are vital to his development as a person.

Rather than dwell on your sadness, consider this a time of growth for yourself as well, and focus on the positive. If you can help out at your son's school, volunteer if you have time outside of work. Depending upon your child's extracurricular interests (like sports, perhaps?), you may find yourself involved with those and busier than ever. Because he's starting school doesn't mean your role as a mother is done. Quite the contrary.