DEAR ABBY: My cousin "Scotty" invited my husband and me to see his new house. He made it clear, several times, that my sister and her husband, "Ian," are not invited because his wife doesn't like Ian. My sister and brother-in-law would have no problem if they never saw Scotty again, and I didn't intend for them to accompany us on this visit. However, every time I speak to Scotty, he reiterates not to bring my brother-in-law along.

I admit, Ian is a difficult guy to get to know, but I have known him for 40 years, and he really has a heart of gold. I think Scotty is being disrespectful to me by repeating that Ian isn't welcome. How can I resolve this in a way that won't result in not communicating with Scotty ever again? -- RELATIVE DRAMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR RELATIVE DRAMA: The next time Scotty starts on his rant about Ian, head him off by interrupting him and saying, "You have already told me that. You don't need to repeat it." Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My dear husband died suddenly last year. It's been difficult, but I am blessed to have good friends and close family. The hardest part, however, has been the four-plus months it took to decipher his online accounts. He left me few passwords, and many of his contacts were uncooperative, some even cruel. Why should it be impossible to pay someone else's bill? I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a log or written account of passwords and usernames. It could have saved countless hours of stressful negotiations. -- LESSON LEARNED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LESSON LEARNED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. You are not the only spouse who has written about this very real problem. Sometimes the concept of a world without us in it can be difficult to comprehend, hence the hesitancy to share passwords. But death can come at any time, and, as in your husband's case, with little -- or no -- warning. Readers, it can spare your loved ones a world of unneeded stress to log those passwords and make sure your spouse, trustee or attorney can access them in case of emergency.

DEAR ABBY: When my wife of nine months makes a dental or medical appointment, she gives her last name as her late husband's last name. He died 10 years ago. Should I be disappointed with my bride since, before we were married, she said she would adopt my last name? -- NEWLYWED IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEWLYWED: Why your bride would be hesitant to do this, I can't guess, but because it bothers you, discuss it with her before it festers. Informing health care professionals about a name change is fairly simple. All one has to do is inform the receptionist that a new name should be entered into the computer.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship (nine months) up until about a month ago. Without going into a lot of detail, the guy I was seeing ghosted me without any warning. We had a great conversation on a Thursday night, and Friday morning he blocked my calls, email, etc. I have no idea what happened.

The night before, I accidentally FaceTimed him (my phone was in my pocket), and his son answered. I thought he had called me, but apparently, I called him. Keep in mind I had never met his son the entire time we were together. This isn't the first time he has stopped speaking to me for reasons only he knows, but this is the first time he has gone this far.

I'm trying to move past it, but I'm having a hard time. Even though we dated for only nine months, I talked to him about everything, and we had such great times together. I want to understand why he did what he did to get some closure, but I don't know what to do. Do I need to just let this go? -- GHOSTED AGAIN IN ALABAMA

DEAR GHOSTED AGAIN: Your ex may have been upset because, until your FaceTime call, his son didn't know he was seeing anyone. I'm not a mind reader, and neither are you. You stated that this isn't the first time he has clammed up and given you the silent treatment. A relationship based on such immaturity and poor communication skills would not be healthy for you anyway. Stanch your bleeding and move on. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My mother, who is 85, lives under the domination of my 88-year-old father. After retirement, Dad has remained active and has taken up hobbies that fill the entire house. Mom was an award-winning photographer, but medical issues now prevent her from enjoying that activity the way she used to. She has always enjoyed music and had a keyboard she felt comfortable playing, but only when Dad was away. My father tends to be very critical, which is why I think she would only play in private.

Recently, thinking Mom no longer used it, my dad donated her keyboard. He said it was taking up space. Mom recently confided to me that she was devastated when it happened. I would like to purchase another keyboard for Mom for her birthday, but I don't want her to feel betrayed. I'm not sure if I should talk with Dad about it beforehand. He is sure to ask Mom why she wasn't more vocal about her feelings in the first place, thus putting her in an uncomfortable position. Do you have any suggestions? -- LOVING DAUGHTER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DAUGHTER: Have a chat with dear old Dad. Tell him what you plan to do and why. If he expresses puzzlement about why you're doing it, point out that between the two of them his is the dominant personality, which may be why your mother didn't speak up on her own behalf. While you're at it, suggest that the next time he has the urge to dispose of your mother's property, he should first ask how she feels about it. It may be a wake-up call he needs.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, a gay man in his 60s. We met while we worked for the same company 11 years ago, and have stayed in touch even after I moved out of state. He has never had a relationship. He didn't have a great childhood or upbringing, and his self-esteem is low. Because of his poor eating and living habits, he is now in a nursing home and dependent on others for his care.

My problem is, he's very needy and he calls me regularly to talk. We have little in common (politically, spiritually, emotionally) but he keeps me on the phone for one, two or even three hours -- usually late in the evening -- until I finally tell him I am sleepy and need to go to bed. I hate to not take his call, but I cringe when I see it's him calling. Sometimes I tell him I'm watching an important TV program or have to get up early (even when I don't).

I don't want to hurt his feelings. I have tried to be there for him, although he ignores my advice about anything related to health or finances or being proactive about his care. He's very self-effacing and doesn't want to offend anyone. I'm not really helping other than to provide contact. (He has others as well.) Could you tell me what I could say to him without hurting him? -- KIND LADY IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR KIND LADY: You need to decide how much time you want to devote to listening to this poor man. Would 30 minutes every few weeks be workable for you? When you see it's him calling, do not pick up if you don't feel in the mood for the conversation.

DEAR ABBY: I've noticed for the past several years that my wife of more than 40 years has been "forgetting" to wear her wedding and engagement rings. Her excuses were that the rings didn't fit anymore or were causing a rash, etc. I thought she might be embarrassed over the size of the diamond compared to her friends' rings, so I had the rings resized to fit her finger and offered to buy her a larger diamond ring. She changed her mind about the diamond size after recognizing how much it would cost.

Now I'm wondering if I'm being too "controlling" or unreasonable for expecting her to wear her rings. I understand there are times that rings should not be worn for fear of damage. What are your thoughts? -- DEVOTED HUSBAND IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HUSBAND: Some women no longer want to wear expensive jewelry for fear of being assaulted and robbed. A wedding ring isn't supposed to function like the brand on a bovine. Not every wife wears one. (Need I point out that many married men forgo wearing them as well?) If someone is married in their heart, they may not feel they need the symbol. Unless you're worried your wife may be cheating, my advice to you is to ease up.