DEAR ABBY: I am a 45-year-old divorced father of three. Two of them I share with my ex-wife. We were married for 14 years and have been divorced for 10 years now. Our marriage started falling apart when I became addicted to prescription pain medication. I was using for a couple of years, but I'm sober now.

Our divorce was amicable, and I think we still maintain a great friendship. We call each other occasionally and talk about things other than the kids. After our divorce we both dated and moved in with other people. I am currently single; she's still in a relationship. She recently called and asked me for advice because she's not happy in her current relationship.

I have never stopped loving her, but I don't want to take advantage of her present situation. My kids know how I feel and so do my friends, so she probably does, too. Would it be wrong of me to try to rekindle what we once had, even if there's the slightest chance of she and her current partner working through their issues? I'm not sure she feels the same way about me as I do her. -- TORN IN WISCONSIN

DEAR TORN: When your ex-wife called to tell you things aren't going well between her and her current partner, she opened the door to you doing what you are contemplating. If they are not married, you have every right to tell her you have never stopped loving her and ask if she might have similar feelings. If she doesn't, it would be better for you to know that. But if her answer is yes, it would be worth a try.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I always planned on retiring to Florida. Our son, who is married with children, has been diagnosed with a slow-progressing but deadly disease. My husband still wants to move, but now I am not sure. Our son said we should live our life because we worked hard to retire and should go. I don't know if I could be happy that far away from him and his family now. Please advise. -- HESITANT GRANDMA IN OHIO

DEAR HESITANT GRANDMA: I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing regarding your son's diagnosis. Your husband wants to make the move, and your son has told you he does not want you to change your plans. If it's financially feasible, it might make sense for you and your husband to rent a place in Florida for a year and, depending upon how well your son is doing, decide later if you want to make it permanent. Perhaps your husband could go ahead without you if you choose to stay behind.

DEAR ABBY: I have just moved into a room in a shared house. I like the location and my three roommates. In the course of my interview, the screening process to see if I'd be a good fit for the house, I neglected to mention that I have a girlfriend. Naturally, I'd like to have her see the place, meet my roommates and sleep over, but I also don't want to ruffle any feathers or be premature in having company over. When would be an appropriate time to have this discussion with them? -- PONDERING IN THE PRESIDIO

DEAR PONDERING: If you want a good relationship with your roommates, NOW would be a good time to raise the subject. If you do, you may be pleasantly surprised to find they have no objection. If they did, they should have mentioned something during your interview.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 41 years, married for 30, but we lived together for five years before we tied the knot. I have just learned he has a son who is two months younger than our son. The mother is a woman he slept with while I was pregnant with our first child. She put the baby up for adoption, and the young man has just reached out to my daughter. My husband claims he didn't find out about the child until after he was relinquished, and he didn't believe the woman ever really gave birth.

I am devastated. I feel like my entire marriage to him has been a lie. He says after we were married 31 years ago, he never cheated on me, and I should move past it. What do you think I should do? -- UNABLE TO LET IT GO

DEAR UNABLE: You have my sympathy. I agree with your husband that you need to move past this, but that doesn't mean you should forget it. Solid marriages are based on trust, and yours has understandably been shattered.

If his behavior since your wedding has been as exemplary as he claims, you should be able to review his financial records and see where the marital assets have been going. He should also be willing to discuss this in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he is unwilling to do this, it is another red flag, and you should consider consulting a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I've been Christian all my life. When I married my husband 22 years ago, he was too. We raised our kids in the same faith. Well, he has recently decided he will no longer practice Christianity. I never would have married someone outside my faith. How do I continue in this marriage? -- FAITHFUL IN OREGON

DEAR FAITHFUL: I am sure this has been upsetting for you, and you have my sympathy. I would hope that your husband's recent change of mind is something you have discussed with him, because he may have his reasons for it. Because of your own deep religious beliefs, this may be something to discuss with your religious adviser. Some couples in these circumstances adopt a "live and let live" attitude, which means you follow your Christian path and allow your husband to follow his.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law emailed me Christmas lists for my niece and nephew. Abby, I didn't ask for them, nor did I request gift ideas for her children. In fact, I haven't seen my sister-in-law in more than six months. Of course I will be giving gifts to both my nephew and niece, but I think it was awfully presumptuous of her to just send a link via email. How can I respond to this in the future? Should I just let it go? Am I wrong in thinking that it was poor etiquette on her part? -- DUMBFOUNDED IN FLORIDA

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Your sister-in-law may have been trying to be helpful, but I agree that what she did was presumptuous. Handle it by sending gifts of your own choosing to your niece and nephew. If you receive any more links of that nature in the future, do the same thing.

DEAR ABBY: My cousin "Scotty" invited my husband and me to see his new house. He made it clear, several times, that my sister and her husband, "Ian," are not invited because his wife doesn't like Ian. My sister and brother-in-law would have no problem if they never saw Scotty again, and I didn't intend for them to accompany us on this visit. However, every time I speak to Scotty, he reiterates not to bring my brother-in-law along.

I admit, Ian is a difficult guy to get to know, but I have known him for 40 years, and he really has a heart of gold. I think Scotty is being disrespectful to me by repeating that Ian isn't welcome. How can I resolve this in a way that won't result in not communicating with Scotty ever again? -- RELATIVE DRAMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR RELATIVE DRAMA: The next time Scotty starts on his rant about Ian, head him off by interrupting him and saying, "You have already told me that. You don't need to repeat it." Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My dear husband died suddenly last year. It's been difficult, but I am blessed to have good friends and close family. The hardest part, however, has been the four-plus months it took to decipher his online accounts. He left me few passwords, and many of his contacts were uncooperative, some even cruel. Why should it be impossible to pay someone else's bill? I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a log or written account of passwords and usernames. It could have saved countless hours of stressful negotiations. -- LESSON LEARNED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LESSON LEARNED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. You are not the only spouse who has written about this very real problem. Sometimes the concept of a world without us in it can be difficult to comprehend, hence the hesitancy to share passwords. But death can come at any time, and, as in your husband's case, with little -- or no -- warning. Readers, it can spare your loved ones a world of unneeded stress to log those passwords and make sure your spouse, trustee or attorney can access them in case of emergency.

DEAR ABBY: When my wife of nine months makes a dental or medical appointment, she gives her last name as her late husband's last name. He died 10 years ago. Should I be disappointed with my bride since, before we were married, she said she would adopt my last name? -- NEWLYWED IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEWLYWED: Why your bride would be hesitant to do this, I can't guess, but because it bothers you, discuss it with her before it festers. Informing health care professionals about a name change is fairly simple. All one has to do is inform the receptionist that a new name should be entered into the computer.