DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Mark" for 18 months. Four months ago, his 17-year-old daughter, "Hayley," started disliking me -- my dog, my kids, anything having to do with me. She forbids me from going to Mark's house when she's there and has an emotional meltdown every time we see each other. She has major episodes whenever my name is mentioned and has become violent with her sister, "Lily," Mark and me.

Last night, Lily told Hayley my kids and I were invited over for dinner (Hayley is going to be gone for a football game), and Hayley accused Lily of "ruining their family" for liking me. Mark had to separate them to protect his younger daughter.

The problem is, there are never any consequences for Hayley's behavior. Mark keeps telling me she needs "time." I have tried to end the relationship, but Mark insists we just need to stick it out. We had been talking about moving in together before Hayley went into this phase. Now everything is on pause, and our relationship has taken 10 steps backward.

How can I get over this and become comfortable rather than upset in our relationship? He keeps promising me he will make changes, but he doesn't. Nothing is moving forward. Do I walk away or wait it out? -- NO PROGRESS IN IOWA

DEAR NO PROGRESS: I wish you had mentioned what the plans are for Hayley when she turns 18 and graduates from high school. Is college in her future? Will she get a job and continue living with her father? That Mark is unable to assert himself with Hayley is, to say the least, regrettable.

If you haven't already done so, "suggest" to Mark that family counseling could help him get to the root of what has caused Hayley's abrupt change of attitude. From what you have described, she may have severe emotional problems that require professional help.

DEAR ABBY: Occasionally when my husband goes running, I drop him off at the park while I do the grocery shopping. We agree to meet back at the drop-off spot in one hour. Occasionally, I'm late by maybe five minutes, and certainly no more than eight or nine. When this happens, my husband gets extremely angry, although the very first thing I do is apologize for being late.

Sometimes the grocery store line is long or there's traffic in town. When he gets angry, he says, "Why can't you do this simple thing?" and rants on and on despite my apologies. I never intend to be late; it happens only one out of five times. Besides, I'm doing the shopping, which benefits us both.

It hurts me when he does this and I tell him so. Honestly, I feel it is verbal abuse. We are self-employed and work together. Our relationship is generally more or less OK. What are your thoughts? -- UNAPPRECIATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: My "thought" is that your impatient and immature husband should provide his own transportation if he wants to go running in the park rather than berate you for things that are beyond the control of his chauffeur and grocery shopper.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were divorced six years ago. Our 26-year-old daughter has always been close to her mother and my former in-laws. When my ex and I separated, she was 20. When we divorced a year later, she sided with her mother, which I expected. Since the divorce, I have seen my daughter only at Christmas and on Father's Day. She does not visit me or communicate with me otherwise.

I have continued to be open and generous with her, and she sends me a list of items I can choose for her birthday and Christmas. I have bought her the jewelry, electronics and other higher-end items she requested. She doesn't seem to want my involvement in her life unless it satisfies her material desires.

Should I continue to be so generous with her because she's my daughter, or does a time come when it needs to end? I would hate to lose her, but it is obvious that she has let me go. Should I do the same? -- DAD OF DIVORCE IN CANADA

DEAR DAD: I think so. In fact, I think you should have become less generous when she started distancing from you. Not knowing the reason for your divorce, I can't guess why she "sided" with her mother and her mother's parents. If the reason was infidelity on your part, rather than a mutual agreement that the marriage wasn't working, I could understand the dynamics of what has been going on. But relationships are supposed to be reciprocal -- at least on some level. This one clearly isn't, so under these circumstances, I wouldn't blame you for closing your wallet. Send her a card with a small gift of your choosing this Christmas and see how that goes.

DEAR ABBY: I have decided not to socialize with anyone in my apartment building. We are a community, but I have lost two so-called friends because I wasn't "flexible enough" to make shopping trips on a whim. Another person complained that I knocked on the door too early or phoned too early. I didn't do these things with malice. I just didn't know.

I have always had problems interacting with others. And now, as always, it is better for me and others that I isolate. Abby, I am writing this letter to vent. Relationships are harder for some of us. What do you think? -- ALONE FOR NOW

DEAR ALONE: Relationships are about two-way communication. If someone dropped you because you called or knocked on their door too early, all they had to do was say, "I'm never up before 10, so please don't try to interact with me before then." The people who were angry because you couldn't (I assume) drive them on their errands were looking for a ride, not friendship. Please stop blaming yourself for this. And please do not allow others to judge you or make you isolate yourself. Someone may move into that "community" who would love to have you as a friend, so please stay open-minded.

DEAR ABBY: I was homeschooled K-12. I now have multiple master's degrees and work for a public school. I returned to my hometown and, with hard work and dedication, have moved up the career ladder in my district. While I love my job, I also value and respect the fact that my mom chose to homeschool me. I can't change my childhood, so I embrace all of those who are part of a village to raise and educate children.

My challenge comes when I am asked what year I graduated, or other questions about my schooling. (They assume that since this is my hometown, I attended school in the same district in which I work.) If I reply with, "I was homeschooled," I get shocked silence, and feel I must somehow justify my mom's choice to homeschool me (something over which I had no control).

This isn't just from colleagues, but also parents and staff. In addition, our district likes to feature alumni who work at the district and who chose to return to their hometown to give back. Well, I meet one of those criteria, but I cringe when they mistakenly announce my name as an alumna in a public forum, not knowing how to handle it. Please advise. -- EDUCATION LOVER IN ARIZONA

DEAR EDUCATION LOVER: I think it is time for you to stop being self-conscious about the kind of education your mother gave you, which equipped you to attain not one, but multiple graduate degrees. Rather than "cringe" and hide the fact that you are not an alumna from the district, discuss this with the administrators, so the error can be corrected.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for seven years. He provides financially for our family, while I work part-time. My husband is an "open book" when it comes to discussing our personal finances with others, while I am extremely private about this type of information.

Recently, our neighbors stopped by, and he told them what we paid for some work we had done on our house, which they did not ask to know. I was appalled that he did it, and asked him after they were gone not to tell people such private information. I'm very uncomfortable discussing our salaries with others, while he thinks it's something for all to know.

We're a middle-class family, and I'm by no means embarrassed by our finances, but I think it's preferable to abstain from discussing these matters with others. He thinks it's rude not to tell people what we pay for things and how much we make and save. Is it common practice to discuss personal finances with others? -- PRIVATE LADY IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR PRIVATE LADY: Rude?! Nowhere is it written that people "have" to discuss their finances with anyone other than one's spouse, immediate family or CPA. Keeping quiet about financial matters is not a breach of etiquette; it's good judgment. What your husband is doing could be perceived as bragging, which creates resentment and jealousy rather than impresses others, and anyone who reads my column knows it can drive people away.