DEAR ABBY: I am married to a wonderful man who has a teenage son, "Teddy," from a previous relationship. I have no children of my own. I love them both and have no resentments about or issues with having stepped into the role of stepparent.

My issue is one of my relatives. This person will not stop questioning Teddy's legitimacy. There was infidelity in the prior relationship, and a DNA test was never done. While it's true the boy looks mostly like his mother, everyone else can see his resemblance to my husband -- except this relative. They constantly harp on how they "just don't see it," how Teddy actually looks like a mutual friend, and that I should demand a DNA test or do one on the sly.

I have tried repeatedly to gently and firmly shut this down by stating that I do see the resemblance and that a DNA test at this point would be pointless because Teddy has been his son for over a decade and it will never change, but they still will not stop. I feel like they somehow think they are "helping" by attempting to relieve us of parental duties, but I signed up to be a stepmother.

I don't know what this person is thinking or how to get through to them that this is extremely hurtful and damaging and needs to stop. They are starting to be less subtle about it and will say these things when my husband and stepson are in the next room. Help! -- SAD STEPMOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STEPMOM: Gladly! Warn this toxic relative that if they mention this subject again, they will no longer be welcome in your home. And if the person persists in trying to cause doubt and pain, I urge you to follow through!

DEAR ABBY: My question concerns my partner's use of Facebook. He spends much of his time on it. He has it on his desk while he's working, looks at it first thing in the morning and throughout the day when he's home on weekends, and for up to 20 minutes before going to bed. I have told him it makes me feel left out and have asked if he can leave it off for a day, but he refuses. He accuses me of "monitoring" him and says it's not my business and he only does it while not busy with something else. However, he will participate in holiday family dinners or when we are watching a movie two or three times a week.

What do others think or do about their partners spending inordinate amounts of time on FB? He's very dismissive of me and my feelings in many other ways, but this is so devaluing. Should I pack my bags? -- OVER SOCIAL MEDIA

DEAR OVER: Whether your partner is addicted to Facebook (it has happened to others), insensitive or self-centered, I can't opine. But since you mentioned that he's dismissive of your feelings in "many other ways" as well and unwilling to change, explain that you need more attention than he's giving you, and if he cannot compromise, you will be leaving. After that, if nothing changes, act on your ultimatum.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of mine, "Dirk," died by suicide a couple of years ago. We were very close when we were young but saw each other only occasionally as adults. However, on the occasions we did get together, it always felt like we picked up where we left off.

I found out about my friend's death from a family member after I discovered his phone number was no longer working and his Facebook and Messenger accounts had been deleted. He had died a few months earlier. Dirk's family asked me not to tell anyone that the death was a suicide. They didn't want his memory to be about that final decision. Because there was no obituary in the newspaper (they didn't want one), it feels as though my friend has been erased with no trace.

I'm still having a hard time with his death. I feel like I should put an in-memoriam obituary in the paper. I also feel a need to talk about it with others (both for myself and as a warning to others). My mother thinks I should abide by the wishes of the family. What do you think? -- MISSING MY FRIEND IN OHIO

DEAR MISSING: When someone takes their own life, there are usually a range of emotions experienced by the survivors. These can include shame, guilt and anger. Fortunately, there are mental health programs that can help with these if the family is aware they are available. A call to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255) could guide them if they reach out. I sincerely hope you will listen to your mother and respect the wishes of the deceased's family, even though you do not agree. If you do what you are contemplating, it could cause the family even more pain.

DEAR ABBY: Our 26-year-old married son currently lives with us. His wife of three years (close in age) was raised in a different culture and has recently started living with her parents in a city four hours away. My son has a stable, well-paying job and cannot relocate. They talk on the phone many times a day and night, and both say their marriage is "fine."

She doesn't work and doesn't finish anything she starts. She contributes to her family's household by using the car and money our son provides. She says she became depressed when she lived in our town but is happy with her parents and really doesn't see moving out. We feel she is immature, controlling and taking advantage of our son. We have told him as much. He understands he has a situation but seems too weak to change it. What more can we do? -- FLUSTERED PARENTS IN TEXAS

DEAR PARENTS: Your son knows your opinion. You can -- and should -- do nothing more than you already have. Because he and his wife say they are happy with the situation, keep your mouths shut and refrain from stirring the pot. At some point, one of them will want to make changes, which may mean your son will have to relocate. But this is his problem, and one he must resolve on his own.

DEAR ABBY: I was never close to my mother-in-law, "Agnes." She always came across as very religious and morally upright. She recently died of dementia. It came on so fast that there were things Agnes needed to take care of but was unable to. My husband was executor of her estate, so we had to go through all of her things and have them appraised after she passed.

One afternoon, my husband discovered a small binder tucked in the back of his mother's lingerie drawer. He looked through it and to say he was "shaken" would be an understatement. He let me read it. Apparently, his parents enjoyed wife-swapping, and Agnes took notes detailing her activities. My husband hasn't mentioned it since, and has left it to me to deal with. I have no idea what to do with it, but we certainly won't share it with his deeply religious brother or our son, who thought the world of the only grandmother he'd known.

I hesitate to destroy her property, but I don't feel it'll benefit anyone to keep it. There is no one I can discuss this with, and it's not a subject my husband wants to talk about. Your thoughts, please. -- EMBARRASSED IN OREGON

DEAR EMBARRASSED: I agree that it would be of no benefit to your brother-in-law or your son to learn their respected parents/grandparents were swingers -- including the intimate details of the encounters. I'm voting for keeping the past buried along with Agnes.

DEAR ABBY: My adult son "Josh" has moved into the home I share with my significant other, "Tom." Josh is 30, and Tom is in his 60s. Josh has difficulty holding jobs and leaves in fits of anger if someone upsets him at work. This has put me in the middle. When he and Tom get angry at each other, they begin shouting.

I own the home we live in, so I could ask both to move out. I would also like to help my son find a job and housing so I can stop worrying about him being on his own with no place left to go. Josh is married. His wife lives with her parents nearby. Josh can't stay there because he made hurtful comments to her mother.

I just want us all to get along. During their last fight, I threatened to run away and not tell Tom or Josh where I was. I'm on eggshells every day and don't know what to do. Tom is on disability, and I'm still working. I am so frustrated I could scream. Can you help me? -- FAMILY PEACEMAKER

DEAR PEACEMAKER: I'll try, but it will involve you being strong enough to draw a firm line and stand behind it. Insist that your son start counseling for his anger management problems, which are at the root of his employment and marital difficulties, or he will no longer be welcome in YOUR home. Give him a deadline to start and do not waffle. If you stand your ground, you will not only change the direction of Josh's life but also may save your own romance.