DEAR ABBY: My 52-year-old twin brother -- whom I'm close to -- is getting married soon for the first time. His fiancee, who divorced after 18 years of marriage, is doing all the planning. She has not included me or my kids (my brother's only niece and nephew) so far, nor are we included on the wedding day except as guests at the ceremony and reception.

My brother was a groomsman in my wedding 17 years ago. I feel hurt being excluded and I want to say something, but I don't know what to say or whether I should talk to my brother or his fiancee. And I don't know, at this point, how the kids or I could be included. Any advice would be appreciated. -- ANGUISHED SIS IN ARIZONA

DEAR SIS: This show is being run by your brother's fiancee. She may not be aware he was a groomsman at your wedding, and frankly, I'm not sure what bearing it would have on their own. You and your children should attend your brother's wedding, welcome his bride into the family and have a good time, which should be easy since there will be no responsibility on any of your shoulders.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who loves to make me chicken soup. She brings it over proudly and enjoys giving me the container. The soup is delicious, except for one thing: It has tiny bones in it. I can't stand the texture of these little bones, and I'm worried about swallowing one inadvertently.

I have talked to her about it. She said that's the way her mom used to make chicken soup. She also told me the bones are edible because they're very small, and they are inevitable because she is using the whole chicken. She promised to strain the soup for me before adding the other ingredients. Unfortunately, I found bones in the strained soup as well.

Abby, I don't know what to do. I really don't want to eat the soup. I don't want to waste it, but it would crush her if I told her I didn't want the soup anymore. Any ideas? -- DONE WITH THE SOUP

DEAR DONE: Remove the vegetables from the soup she brings and strain it again, through cheesecloth or a fine strainer. Once you have clear broth, return the veggies to the liquid and enjoy it.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson and his wife have requested cash gifts for their two children's birthdays and other holidays because "they really don't need more toys at ages 2 and 4." I understand this. What I find peculiar is that they told us they put the maximum amount they are allowed into their kids' college funds each pay period, and when someone gives the kids money, they put that money in instead of their own. Am I wrong in thinking we are giving the gift to them, and not to my grandkids? -- FEELING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF

DEAR FEELING: I don't think you are wrong. But the question is, is this something worth arguing about?

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am married to a wonderful man who has a teenage son, "Teddy," from a previous relationship. I have no children of my own. I love them both and have no resentments about or issues with having stepped into the role of stepparent.

My issue is one of my relatives. This person will not stop questioning Teddy's legitimacy. There was infidelity in the prior relationship, and a DNA test was never done. While it's true the boy looks mostly like his mother, everyone else can see his resemblance to my husband -- except this relative. They constantly harp on how they "just don't see it," how Teddy actually looks like a mutual friend, and that I should demand a DNA test or do one on the sly.

I have tried repeatedly to gently and firmly shut this down by stating that I do see the resemblance and that a DNA test at this point would be pointless because Teddy has been his son for over a decade and it will never change, but they still will not stop. I feel like they somehow think they are "helping" by attempting to relieve us of parental duties, but I signed up to be a stepmother.

I don't know what this person is thinking or how to get through to them that this is extremely hurtful and damaging and needs to stop. They are starting to be less subtle about it and will say these things when my husband and stepson are in the next room. Help! -- SAD STEPMOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STEPMOM: Gladly! Warn this toxic relative that if they mention this subject again, they will no longer be welcome in your home. And if the person persists in trying to cause doubt and pain, I urge you to follow through!

DEAR ABBY: My question concerns my partner's use of Facebook. He spends much of his time on it. He has it on his desk while he's working, looks at it first thing in the morning and throughout the day when he's home on weekends, and for up to 20 minutes before going to bed. I have told him it makes me feel left out and have asked if he can leave it off for a day, but he refuses. He accuses me of "monitoring" him and says it's not my business and he only does it while not busy with something else. However, he will participate in holiday family dinners or when we are watching a movie two or three times a week.

What do others think or do about their partners spending inordinate amounts of time on FB? He's very dismissive of me and my feelings in many other ways, but this is so devaluing. Should I pack my bags? -- OVER SOCIAL MEDIA

DEAR OVER: Whether your partner is addicted to Facebook (it has happened to others), insensitive or self-centered, I can't opine. But since you mentioned that he's dismissive of your feelings in "many other ways" as well and unwilling to change, explain that you need more attention than he's giving you, and if he cannot compromise, you will be leaving. After that, if nothing changes, act on your ultimatum.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of mine, "Dirk," died by suicide a couple of years ago. We were very close when we were young but saw each other only occasionally as adults. However, on the occasions we did get together, it always felt like we picked up where we left off.

I found out about my friend's death from a family member after I discovered his phone number was no longer working and his Facebook and Messenger accounts had been deleted. He had died a few months earlier. Dirk's family asked me not to tell anyone that the death was a suicide. They didn't want his memory to be about that final decision. Because there was no obituary in the newspaper (they didn't want one), it feels as though my friend has been erased with no trace.

I'm still having a hard time with his death. I feel like I should put an in-memoriam obituary in the paper. I also feel a need to talk about it with others (both for myself and as a warning to others). My mother thinks I should abide by the wishes of the family. What do you think? -- MISSING MY FRIEND IN OHIO

DEAR MISSING: When someone takes their own life, there are usually a range of emotions experienced by the survivors. These can include shame, guilt and anger. Fortunately, there are mental health programs that can help with these if the family is aware they are available. A call to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255) could guide them if they reach out. I sincerely hope you will listen to your mother and respect the wishes of the deceased's family, even though you do not agree. If you do what you are contemplating, it could cause the family even more pain.

DEAR ABBY: Our 26-year-old married son currently lives with us. His wife of three years (close in age) was raised in a different culture and has recently started living with her parents in a city four hours away. My son has a stable, well-paying job and cannot relocate. They talk on the phone many times a day and night, and both say their marriage is "fine."

She doesn't work and doesn't finish anything she starts. She contributes to her family's household by using the car and money our son provides. She says she became depressed when she lived in our town but is happy with her parents and really doesn't see moving out. We feel she is immature, controlling and taking advantage of our son. We have told him as much. He understands he has a situation but seems too weak to change it. What more can we do? -- FLUSTERED PARENTS IN TEXAS

DEAR PARENTS: Your son knows your opinion. You can -- and should -- do nothing more than you already have. Because he and his wife say they are happy with the situation, keep your mouths shut and refrain from stirring the pot. At some point, one of them will want to make changes, which may mean your son will have to relocate. But this is his problem, and one he must resolve on his own.