DEAR ABBY: Recently my husband and I invited a couple that we are close with to accompany us on a 10-day bus trip. After the first couple of days, they started doing everything on their own -- going to dinner, excursions, etc. We noticed it right away, and wondered what was going on. After a while we began doing our own thing and leaving them alone, which they appeared not to mind.

Now that we're back home from the trip, we're having trouble getting over the fact that we were almost completely ignored during the entire trip. It's not that we cared that they did things on their own, but when we invited them it was so we could spend some time together and at least have dinner together.

We're thinking of ending the friendship and seeing them only at group gatherings, but we hate to end a more than five-year friendship. I must add that they've done this several times prior to the bus trip, but other friends were with us, so we let it go. They are both reserved and loners. Of course, we'll never travel with them again, but how do we go about even having a friendship with them? -- FEELING IGNORED

DEAR FEELING: Let this go. Do not excommunicate this couple because they didn't live up to your expectations. Now that you know the extent to which they are "reserved loners," plan your social lives accordingly. Enjoy them with others to the extent that you can, and see them for brief encounters, preferably ones that include other couples.

P.S. I travel only with friends I know very well and with whom I know I am compatible. Before the trip, I make sure to discuss my expectations with them and am clear about theirs. Take a page out of my book, and you will experience fewer disappointments.

DEAR ABBY: A bunch of kids on my high school soccer team continually and intentionally mispronounce my name as a joke. I have corrected them on many occasions, but it only made it worse. They think it is hilarious, and my coaches don't do anything about it. I don't know what to do. -- ANNOYED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ANNOYED: Try ignoring it. However, if that doesn't stop them, recognize that ridicule isn't humor. In fact, it can be construed as a form of bullying. Because you have spoken to the coaches and they refuse to intervene, talk with the school principal about it. And if that doesn't solve your problem, your parents should have a meeting with the administrator and put a stop to it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I love animals and have several. Currently, my wife's health isn't great, and I have become worn out taking care of the animals. I worry for her, our retirement and my health as well. Caring for the animals has become too much. What should I do? -- TIME TO CHANGE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TIME: The first thing to do is have a realistic talk with your wife about the fact that caring for your animals has become too much -- to the point that you are becoming worried about your own physical (and financial) well-being. Then see if you know people who would like to adopt them. If no one is willing, an animal rescue group might be able to find them homes in which they will be cared for and treated well.

DEAR ABBY: I had an affair with "Harold," a man I was helping. He's 76; I am 52. His wife stays in Florida for extended periods of time. For 34 years I have been married to a man who quit having sex with me because I stopped taking the pill. "Harold" provided me with the attention I needed.

I finally confessed to my husband after I was caught in too many lies. My husband has forgiven me, but I can no longer be friends with Harold or help him anymore. I'm worried about him living alone and needing help. Can I still help him if I have ended the affair? -- WORRIED ABOUT EX-LOVER

DEAR WORRIED: No, not if you value your marriage to the man who has denied you a sex life for the last 34 years. Surely you both must have known there are/were successful methods of birth control besides the pill. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

Because the physical aspect of your affair with Harold has ended, there is still an emotional tie that needs to be severed. You won't be able to do this while you are taking care of him. Harold should be told he needs another caregiver, and you need to find a way to satisfy or sublimate your sex drive, because this problem isn't going to go away.

DEAR ABBY: My mom passed away a year ago, and I struggle with it every day. I had promised her I would never put her in any kind of home, but she ended up in one because the hospital placed her there. I feel so guilty for letting her down.

While she was in there, I saw her only once, through a window, but I never got to talk to her. I don't know how to cope with this. Since her death, many family members no longer talk to me. They blame me for it. Abby, I'm the one who was with her 24/7 for years. I'm the one who cooked for her and did her laundry, yet I'm the bad person. Do I need professional help for blaming myself? Please help. -- LOST DAUGHTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DAUGHTER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. Your relatives are wrong to blame you for her death. Much of what happened to her was because that's what her doctors ordered. You are not a bad daughter. You are a daughter who cared -- and still cares -- about the mother to whom she devoted herself. You took care of her for as long as you could. Talk with a mental health professional about this. You may find it beneficial, if only to help you stop blaming yourself for circumstances that were beyond your control.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed five years ago. I have two grown daughters, and a granddaughter who will turn 21 soon. On her birthday I would like to give her the wedding ring my husband gave to me. Is that being rude to my daughters? -- GRANDMA LOOKING AHEAD

DEAR GRANDMA: I don't think it would be rude. I think it would solve the question of what to do with your wedding ring without creating jealousy between your daughters.

DEAR ABBY: My 52-year-old twin brother -- whom I'm close to -- is getting married soon for the first time. His fiancee, who divorced after 18 years of marriage, is doing all the planning. She has not included me or my kids (my brother's only niece and nephew) so far, nor are we included on the wedding day except as guests at the ceremony and reception.

My brother was a groomsman in my wedding 17 years ago. I feel hurt being excluded and I want to say something, but I don't know what to say or whether I should talk to my brother or his fiancee. And I don't know, at this point, how the kids or I could be included. Any advice would be appreciated. -- ANGUISHED SIS IN ARIZONA

DEAR SIS: This show is being run by your brother's fiancee. She may not be aware he was a groomsman at your wedding, and frankly, I'm not sure what bearing it would have on their own. You and your children should attend your brother's wedding, welcome his bride into the family and have a good time, which should be easy since there will be no responsibility on any of your shoulders.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who loves to make me chicken soup. She brings it over proudly and enjoys giving me the container. The soup is delicious, except for one thing: It has tiny bones in it. I can't stand the texture of these little bones, and I'm worried about swallowing one inadvertently.

I have talked to her about it. She said that's the way her mom used to make chicken soup. She also told me the bones are edible because they're very small, and they are inevitable because she is using the whole chicken. She promised to strain the soup for me before adding the other ingredients. Unfortunately, I found bones in the strained soup as well.

Abby, I don't know what to do. I really don't want to eat the soup. I don't want to waste it, but it would crush her if I told her I didn't want the soup anymore. Any ideas? -- DONE WITH THE SOUP

DEAR DONE: Remove the vegetables from the soup she brings and strain it again, through cheesecloth or a fine strainer. Once you have clear broth, return the veggies to the liquid and enjoy it.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson and his wife have requested cash gifts for their two children's birthdays and other holidays because "they really don't need more toys at ages 2 and 4." I understand this. What I find peculiar is that they told us they put the maximum amount they are allowed into their kids' college funds each pay period, and when someone gives the kids money, they put that money in instead of their own. Am I wrong in thinking we are giving the gift to them, and not to my grandkids? -- FEELING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF

DEAR FEELING: I don't think you are wrong. But the question is, is this something worth arguing about?

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY