DEAR ABBY: The pandemic has put a strain on relationships. Last year, I lost my best friend of 40 years over the COVID vaccines. I believe the vaccine helps to keep me safe, as well as helps my family and friends. This friend decided he and his family would not take the jab. He quit his job rather than get vaccinated. This caused a rift so wide that, in his eyes, he and his family could not continue being friends with our family. I'm sad about it.

The big problem my wife and I are contending with concerns our 8-year-old daughter. She has been best friends with my (former) best friend's daughter since birth. There have been eight years of sleepovers, birthdays, park visits, get-togethers and everything in between. We haven't seen them in six months. We can't keep telling our daughter the pandemic is the reason she can't see her best friend. This situation is so simple and so complicated. What do I tell my daughter about her best friend? -- VICTIM OF THE TIMES

DEAR VICTIM: Tell your daughter the truth -- that her friend's parents will no longer allow it. Then explain why. That way she won't think that this is in any way her fault.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently contacted by my graduating class to help organize a reunion. Since then, one of the organizers has decided that our committee is an inseparable trio who must get together regularly by Zoom and occasionally in person.

We were not in touch before the reunion and we have little in common, but I can tell she's lonely, so I've indulged her so far. However, she now wants to convene periodically for long weekends at a nearby inn. I do not want to leave my spouse for long weekends or spend money and time on a person whom I don't care to befriend.

When I've tried to demur with "unavailability" excuses, she insists we are a trio and we simply will wait a few weeks until I can find an open date. I don't want to be rude, but I can't figure out how to politely tell her that I have no interest in accepting her suggestions for an extended slumber party. How should I handle this? -- RELUCTANT ALUMNA IN THE WEST

DEAR ALUMNA: Handle it by being frank with this needy individual. Tell her, "This isn't going to happen. I do not wish to leave my husband for a weekend. I don't mind helping with the reunion, but your demands on my time have increased to the point where they are too much for me."

DEAR ABBY: The season of pleasant weather and outdoor concerts is approaching. Invariably, we end up sitting by the chatterboxes. These folks seem oblivious to anyone else, including the performers and the rest of us who want to enjoy the performance. I realize these are free concerts, but I don't want to have to listen to these rude people. Any suggestions for silencing them so we can hear what the rest of us came for? -- DISGUSTED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR DISGUSTED: Keep your tone civil. You might ask, "Would you please talk more quietly? We are trying to enjoy the performance." However, if they aren't receptive to your suggestion, consider moving as far away from them as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding "Broken-Hearted in Oregon" (Jan. 13), whose partner is pursuing recovery from porn addiction, and "Fading in Washington" (Feb. 1), whose husband is likely watching porn, is displaying narcissistic tendencies and belittling his wife's appearance and age. Please suggest these women seek appropriate support to deal with it. If either of the men were abusing drugs or alcohol or gambling excessively, you would have told the spouse to seek out a 12-step group like Al-Anon. Well, there are support groups for sex and porn addicts, as well as their partners.

My ex-husband kept his sex and porn addictions from me during our marriage. But after one affair (that I knew of) and twice discovering his constant use of the internet to view porn and enter chat rooms, I realized the man I thought I knew had a secret life that did not include intimacy with me. It left me shattered, disillusioned and horrified.

There is great shame associated with this "disease." I was fortunate to find two 12-step programs for co-dependents of sex addicts -- S-Anon and COSA, a group in which I continue to engage although my marriage is over.

There is help out there for partners like me. I have learned a great deal about the conditions that set the stage for future addiction, and also my own co-dependency that led me into that relationship and caused me to turn a blind eye to what was happening.

The abuse of pornography is a crisis in our society. Please encourage your readers to seek information about porn and sex addiction by Googling "Is my partner a sex addict?" and learning more about COSA and S-Anon, as well as consult a therapist who recognizes and understands this problem. -- RECOVERING IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR RECOVERING: Thank you for writing. I'm pleased the support groups you cited helped you. Readers, COSA (cosa-recovery.org) is a 12-step program for people whose lives have been affected by compulsive sexual behavior. S-Anon (sanon.org) helps individuals connect with others who have also experienced the effects of someone's sex addiction and found a way forward. If you find yourself in the kind of situation "Recovering" has described, I urge you to seek support.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with a divorced man for almost two years now. He has told me several times he will always be there for his ex-wife regardless of what she may need. He often reminisces about his life and is constantly telling me about places he has been and things he has done which include her.

I have talked to him about how it makes me feel, and his answer is, "That's life." He says he is who he is and will never change. He swears he is no longer in love with his ex-wife. I wish I could believe it. What should I do? -- OTHER WOMAN IN OREGON

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: Understand that you are involved with a man who loves reliving his past, regardless of how it affects you. What a bore he must be. Since you asked, I'm suggesting you find someone who prefers looking forward rather than looking backward and who is more stimulating company. This person is too dismissive of your feelings for my taste.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away four months ago, after battling cancer for years. He declined in a month, and we chose hospice at home. (I did not find them particularly caring or helpful.) This was even more depressing because it happened during COVID.

After my husband's death, all the emotional support stopped -- no family visits and no phone calls. If I don't text, I have no contact with anyone. After a marriage of 55 years, I am now totally isolated and alone. I have meltdowns at times over nothing. Sleep escapes me. Grief counseling is shut down except for Zoom, and I don't have a computer.

I know it takes years to adjust to a new way of life, but my mobility issues aren't helping. I was always independent; now I feel like a burden. It takes me forever to get around. Abby, I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Any suggestions for moving forward? -- TOO MUCH CHANGE IN FLORIDA

DEAR TOO MUCH CHANGE: Yes, I do! Place a call to your physician and tell them what's going on. Because you have no computer, peer-to-peer grief counseling by phone may be an option. There might be help for your sleep problems as well. As to your meltdowns, in time they will lessen. But you must accept that grieving is a process that takes time.

When you feel isolated, do you pick up the phone and call others, or do you expect them to do the calling? A step toward healthy independence would be to make yourself reach out and communicate with others. You might also consider adopting a dog, which would not only force you to get out of the house -- which is healthy -- but also give you an opportunity to meet others.

I know it's sometimes an effort to just get out of bed. But if you start doing these things, they are all steps in the right direction and will help you to reclaim your life.

DEAR ABBY: When I texted my faraway sibling, "Pat," to thank them for a thoughtful gift I really liked, they said, "Oh no, the mailing labels for the boxes mailed to you and our other sibling must have been mixed up." Then Pat insisted I immediately trade gifts with our sibling. Pat immediately contacted our mutual sibling's spouse to inform them of the mix-up rather than trust me to handle the situation.

Am I wrong to feel that Pat should have left well enough alone, since I had expressed appreciation for the gift, and sent a similarly thoughtful gift to its intended sibling to rectify things? I have never been in a situation like this before, but it seems to me that I am getting the short end of the stick. -- MIXED-UP OVER THE MIXUP

DEAR MIXED-UP: Not knowing the discrepancy between the gift you received and the one your sibling received, I can't judge whether you got "the short end of the stick." But Pat should have replaced the gift received by the sibling rather than insist you relinquish the one you received. I don't blame you for being offended. The way Pat handled the situation was beyond rude.