DEAR ABBY: "Dana" has been my best friend since 1995. We did so many things together, until she had gastric bypass surgery three years ago. Mind you, Dana was never fat. She may have been overweight, but she was never morbidly obese. She never participated in any of the fun sports I did, such as mud/obstacle course runs or fun 5Ks. Her lack of participation wasn't due to her weight; she just said it "wasn't for her."

After Dana lost some weight from her surgery, her mindset changed. She started making repeated snide remarks to me about my weight. I have some joint issues that are genetic. She said, "Maybe your weight doesn't help." Eventually, we stopped doing much together.

Lately she has been posting, "Does anyone want to participate?" in mud runs and 5Ks that I do, but she won't ask me. Many people have pointed out that Dana has been copying my life for some time now. We decided to test that theory by purposely posting certain things on Facebook.

If we posted pictures of butterflies, SHE would post pictures of butterflies. If my husband posted an event, SHE would post the same event. I got a full sleeve tattoo on my left arm, and so did she, by the same tattoo artist. She likes things my husband posts and even asked me "if he has a brother."

The whole dynamic is odd. Some say imitation is flattery, but I'm not flattered. More and more people say she's trying to be me. I don't want to be friends with Dana anymore. Am I overreacting? -- DON'T WANT A TWIN

DEAR DON'T WANT: No, you aren't. Imitation is flattery, but when it's done to the extent that it makes the role model uncomfortable, it is going overboard. What Dana has been doing is more than a little bit creepy. You stated that the two of you are no longer as friendly as you were before her surgery. To the extent possible, I'm suggesting you remove her from your social media platforms, and so should your husband.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a message from my 38-year-old daughter telling me she no longer wants me in her life. Due to circumstances over which I had no control, she didn't find out I was her birth father until she was 13. As far as I know, we've had a good father-daughter relationship. But recently, the man who raised her until she turned 13 died, and she has distanced herself from me with no explanation. I need to know how to handle this. Please help me. -- SHUT-OUT FATHER

DEAR SHUT-OUT FATHER: Your daughter has just lost the father who raised her during her formative years. She is grieving. This may be her way of trying to cushion herself from the pain of losing her other father in the event of your own death. Not knowing her, I can't offer more insight. However, a way to handle this would be to communicate to her that you love her and always will, and if she changes her mind, you will always be there for her. Then, please, go on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced woman, soon to be 60, who is often haunted by vivid memories of the past. I constantly recall times in my life that I regret or cringe about, and things I wish I would have handled better. They range from being embarrassed at my 7th birthday party to being bullied from the 5th through 8th grades to awkward moments in high school to parenting decisions I wish I'd made differently.

These memories play over and over like videos in my mind, causing me to feel the emotions again and again. I've been through therapy three times in three cities over the past 24 years. One therapist even used eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), all to no avail. I know I can't go back and change any poor choices or bad decisions, but how can I stop torturing myself over them? Also, would you say it's normal for people my age to have such vivid memories of what others might have let go of decades ago? -- PRISONER OF THE PAST

DEAR PRISONER: People of every age have been known to revisit the past. Some have "conversations" with deceased parents, divorced husbands, old loves, etc. A technique that might help you would be to get up and move from wherever you are when those flashbacks happen to a new location. Take a 30-minute walk in the sunshine and smell the roses. Count your blessings. And say aloud to yourself, "That was THEN. This is NOW." It is not possible to think of two things at once. Please try it. It's cheaper than yet another therapist, and it works.

P.S. You are not a "prisoner" of your unhappy past; you conquered it. Congratulations.

DEAR ABBY: I recently married a younger lady and want to know the best way to get her to put her phone down, because she's texting about 10 hours a day. She works from home now, and if she isn't working, she's texting. I feel like I can't compete, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Please help. -- FIGHTING ABOUT THE PHONE

DEAR FIGHTING: Tell your wife you feel like you are in competition with her cellphone, and you don't like coming out second best. Many people become so caught up in their electronic devices that their relationships suffer, which is why apps have been created that make the addicted more aware of how much time is spent on them. Using the "focus" and "do not disturb" features can also be helpful. I suggest that your wife start using one of them before your marriage deteriorates further.

DEAR ABBY: While driving our car to a babysitting gig, our teenage daughter was asked by the parents to stop at a pizza place and pick up lunch for their child. While pulling into the restaurant's parking garage, she hit a post, which caused significant damage to the bumper. Should she tell the parents with any expectation that they should offer to pay for some of the repair or is this all on her? -- WORK-RELATED IN THE WEST

DEAR WORK-RELATED: I'm sorry, but your daughter should not expect the parents to pay for her fender bender. She can certainly tell them what happened -- if she hasn't already -- but with NO expectation that they will help her pay to have her bumper repaired.

DEAR ABBY: I have a gay friend I'll call "Allen." We have been close friends for 13 years. Allen has visited me often with his friends from England, and two years ago, when I could finally afford to visit him, he invited me to stay in the home he shares with his boyfriend, "Rupert." Rupert took an instant dislike to me. He treated me rudely and mocked my American accent the entire time I was there. I let it be and concentrated on the beautiful scenery, the beautiful people I met and my longtime friend.

On my last day there, Rupert offered to take me around London, which surprised me. But I was happy to get into the city, so I agreed. It was extremely unpleasant. He berated me loudly in public, called me old and ugly and yelled at me at top of his lungs in a gift shop.

I texted Allen later that day asking if I could stay the last night at a hotel instead of their guest room. He replied by telling me all the stuff Rupert had texted to him that day about how I had been treating him badly. I was shocked. I hadn't mentioned anything about Rupert, but simply asked if he would be able to drive me to a hotel near the airport for my last night in England. I have since tried to reach out to Allen to explain my side of the story, but he continues to ignore me. Any advice on how to move forward would be helpful. -- SAD TRAVELER IN NEVADA

DEAR SAD TRAVELER: For whatever reason, Rupert regarded your long friendship with Allen as a threat, so he used the afternoon in London to cut you off at the knees. As long as Allen continues to ignore your efforts to mitigate the damage, consider him unreachable. With the passage of time, he may eventually realize how devious Rupert is, but this is a conclusion he must arrive at without your help. Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your friendship, which I am sure was important to you.

DEAR ABBY: Everywhere, it seems, there are books and guides for caring for aging parents. But what about aging siblings? The age difference is smaller, so it can end up with the elderly caring for the elderly -- especially if there isn't a next generation of family members on whom to rely.

As we baby boomers hit our 70s, we can find ourselves caring for siblings in their early 80s, and they're even less likely to listen to us than our parents were. Frankly, some of us are already worn out from caring for elderly parents. We're at the point of concern about our own health and that of our spouses. When you've got a 73-year-old trying to take care of an 80-year-old who is childless and lives 700 miles away, and who says only, "I'll let you know when I need you," it's frightening. Any guidance? -- DAUNTING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DAUNTING: Yes, I think you should follow the directive of your 80-year-old sibling and wait to be asked for help instead of "hovering." Familiarize yourself with what senior services are available in their community and cross your fingers they will not be needed. In addition, take whatever relevant guidance you can from the books on caring for parents, because in many ways, there may be great similarities.