DEAR ABBY: I was married for 16 years and am finalizing the divorce. I decided to start dating again and found a really nice guy with a wonderful personality. I'm attracted to him, although I never thought I would love again. He's my age and has a kid. We talked for six months -- after which he moved in. We have been living together for more than a year now.

Things were perfect until I found out he has been talking sexually to other women online and met two women during our relationship. He insists they are just friends and nothing more. Now he's saying I'm not his girlfriend and never have been. What am I then? I asked one of his friends, and they told me he is sexual with all women. "He is just a playful guy."

When I told him I knew he had kissed one of them, he said it was because he just wanted to know if anything was there. I have never done that to anyone. He lied about meeting the girls and about being on a dating site, and he's still sexting. I fell in love with him, but he doesn't say it back to me.

Should we separate and just be friends or try to work on the relationship? He told me that his whole life women ghost him or go back to their exes. He has been hurt by a lot of them. I need advice. -- LET DOWN IN ARKANSAS

DEAR LET DOWN: Your roommate is not a "nice guy." He's a player who hasn't been honest with you. Be glad his friend clued you in to what has really been going on while he has been living with you.

Because you know he's a player, make an appointment with your doctor to be tested for STDs. Then tell him the games are over and you want him out of your place immediately. You are too emotional right now to remain friends with him, and once you get your head on straight and recognize him for who he really is, you will no longer want to be.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years. He was married for 27 years to a woman who died six months before we met. He has an adult stepdaughter he raised and considers his daughter. He has biological children with whom I have a good relationship, and they like me. However, the stepdaughter doesn't like me at all and she's very rude to me.

His family invites her to family functions all the time. My husband keeps saying to give her a break because her mother died. I have never been anything but nice to her. My husband and I argue constantly about her. I have asked not to be around her. Is it rude of me not to go to his family function if she's going to be there? She makes it very uncomfortable for me. -- BOTHERED IN GEORGIA

DEAR BOTHERED: Do not cut off your nose to spite your face. Go to the family functions. Say hello to her but, after that, avoid her as much as possible. If she is overtly rude, call her on it. You do not have to tolerate being abused, and you should not be expected to.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her partner have two children, an 8-month-old and a 3-year-old. Whenever they get home, if a child is sleeping in the car seat, one of them will stay in the vehicle until the child wakes up. They don't want to bring the child inside the house because the child will wake up.

They live in Los Angeles, the weather is nice and they spend the time listening to music with earphones. Abby, they may end up staying in the car for two to three hours, waiting. I say this is wrong, but I don't seem able to convince my daughter or her partner. -- GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR GRANDMA: It is possible that your daughter and her partner regard the time they spend in the car as a rest period for themselves as well as the child. As parents of young children, they may need the break. Accept this as their parenting style and stay out of it, because they are hurting no one.

DEAR ABBY: Thirty years ago, my wife and I moved from New York City to Albuquerque. I have four brothers. One has visited once, another has visited three times, but two brothers have never come out to see us. We have gone back east for weddings, funerals and reunions.

When I ask these two brothers why they don't visit, they say going to New Mexico is not on their bucket list or that their wives don't like to fly. I feel hurt and abandoned. Should I not care, or just not deal with them? -- WAITING FOR 30 YEARS

DEAR WAITING: Not all siblings are equally close. You are blessed with two brothers who want to remain close and make the effort to do so. Your life will be happier if you concentrate on the relationships you have with them and their families, and spend less time brooding about the others.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been happily married for 40 years. The problem is, he likes having a cat, and I'm tired of having pets. We have had cats during most of our marriage, and for the most part, I have enjoyed them. But after losing our last one six months ago, I am enjoying being pet-free. My husband is talking about finding a cute kitty, but I told him I'm very happy not to have a pet, and why. How do we resolve this? He says he "needs" a cat. His family has always had them. -- HOPES TO BE PET-FREE

DEAR HOPES: I assume you're enjoying being pet-free because you were the person taking care of the cats. Tell your husband if he needs a cat, caring for it will be his sole responsibility for the reasons you mentioned. It may not be easy, but stick to your guns. If you can hold out until the cat is beyond the adorable "kitten" stage, you'll be fine.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, my daughter told me she was with her boyfriend at the local bowling alley and they were kissing and hugging. When she went to use the ladies' room, she was followed by an older woman who proceeded to "advise" my daughter about the local family planning clinic, as well as offer her opinion that teenagers need to be very careful in their sex lives so they don't end up as young parents and derail their futures.

While I believe the woman had good intentions, I also think what she did was wildly inappropriate. I was tempted to report her to the police. What's your opinion? Should I have contacted and confronted this woman? -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

DEAR N.O.Y.B: For you to have contacted the police or confronted the woman would have been extremely inappropriate. If your daughter and her boyfriend were putting on such a show for the other bowlers that an onlooker felt your daughter needed the information, she did your child a favor. An unintended pregnancy can, indeed, derail a young couple's future.

DEAR ABBY: For the 30-plus years I have known him, my husband has never been social. When we were dating, he'd rather it just be the two of us, and avoided parties, group outings, etc. Because of this, I have given up trying to go out with friends, and even with his or my family members because he complains about having to go. When he does attend must-go-to-events such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, he'll say a few words to everyone, and then sit quietly the rest of the evening, looking bored.

I have always been outgoing and social. I recently started working from home, so my workplace socialization has disappeared. I need socialization, and I don't know how to tell my husband I am going to start doing things without him. He will consider that I am abandoning him. What would you suggest? -- SOCIAL BUTTERFLY IN BUFFALO

DEAR BUTTERFLY: You are not going to change your husband. Before you become completely isolated, start doing things without him. Leave him at home where he's comfortable. If he feels "abandoned," quit making it your problem as you have before. You aren't joined at the hip, and isolation isn't healthy for you!

DEAR ABBY: I have a lovely collection of cloth napkins, but no longer use them for holiday meals because my son-in-law of 15 years began using them as "hankies" at my formal dining table. He actually blows his nose in them. This grosses us out, but I'm afraid to say anything for fear he will pack up my grandkids and that will be the last we see of them. He has a doctorate degree, so it isn't ignorance causing this. What would you do? -- PROPER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PROPER: What I would do is have a nice box of tissues at his place setting when he comes for dinner.