DEAR ABBY: I took a DNA test seven months ago. It came back that the man who raised me is not my biological father. My heart dropped, but I decided to meet my real dad. We have formed a relationship, mostly a good one, and I introduce him as my dad now. My problem is, we hardly know each other or how we react to things.

I had a hard week. My older sister was very rude to me, I had many college exams to take, and my best friend unexpectedly announced she had to go away for six months. I just wanted to run "home," but then I realized I no longer have a home to run to. My dad doesn't know I'm very clingy when I'm upset, so he was oblivious to my constant communications, and I'm sure it came off as annoying.

My mother and I don't get along these days because she hid this secret from me for 25 years. Also, I mostly just wanted to go over to his house because my three little siblings are there, and I actually feel like we're a family. What do you think, Abby? Am I too clingy? Is it understandable? How do I explain to him that I need to see them more? If he tells me no, how do I handle that? -- ADJUSTING IN OHIO

DEAR ADJUSTING: If you want a better relationship with your biological father, slow down and let him get to know you gradually. A way to accomplish this would be to mend fences with your mother, believe it or not. Yes, she should have told you about your biological father years ago, but she may have had reasons for not doing so. One of them may have been embarrassment.

You ask, "Am I being too clingy?" The answer is yes. You stand a better chance of building a solid relationship with your bio-dad, his wife and your half-siblings if you don't overwhelm them when you are feeling so needy. Your chances of finding the emotional support you need would be better if you talk with a counselor at the student health center at your college when you are as stressed as you are.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I inherited our mother's condo some years ago. She wants to sell it; I do not. She has harangued me nonstop with inane scenarios of what "could" happen with our heirs if we don't sell, even going so far as to threaten, "If we don't sell it now, I don't think I will want to sell." I don't even know what that means.

Because I was fed up, I agreed to sell. The problem is, at this point, I don't even like her. I'm not mad -- I just abhor the way she harangued me. I don't think I'll ever want to talk to her again, and I feel sad about that. Any thoughts? -- SIBLING DISASTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SIBLING: It is unfortunate (but not uncommon) for money to drive a wedge between family members. When your sister started her harangue, you should have inserted your lawyer into the negotiation. Because you wished to keep the unit, you could have bought her half from her, leaving you both with what you wanted. If it's not too late, give it some consideration. As to never wanting to talk to your sister, I hope with time your feelings will mellow and fences can be mended.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was forced into sex at the age of 12 by an older female. He has expressed how humiliated he felt and that he made it his mission to never feel inadequate again. He gets his "knowledge" of satisfying a woman through porn. I have tried to explain to him that what he's seeing is only a performance put on for the male viewer.

I have tried more than once to show him what really makes a woman "tick," but he insists I don't know what I'm talking about and that I'm lying to him! I have tried every gentle approach to avoid hurting his feelings. I know from family members' comments about his bedroom having been a "revolving door" for women that he probably didn't use much discernment in his past.

How can I move forward when I feel like he's stuck in the past? I know being sexually abused causes all kinds of trauma. He insists he's over it, but his actions tell me otherwise. I'm pretty sure I'm not his first unsatisfied partner because all his other relationships have ended because they were "crazy, stupid, fat, unfaithful ..." I don't want to give up on him. Please help. -- PATIENT WIFE IN FLORIDA

DEAR WIFE: Talking to your husband must be like talking to a wall. Solid marriages are built on trust and good communication, and your husband seems capable of neither. I admire your perseverance. The fact that he may have never had counseling to deal with what he went through as a child is regrettable. It could help even now.

A licensed sex therapist might be able to help your husband see that you are not lying to him when you tell him that what pleases one woman might not please another. If you can't make him understand what makes you "tick," then cross your fingers and hope the therapist can get the message across.

DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old nephew, "Randy," hasn't spoken with his sister, "Elyse," in five years because of a disagreement about the resolution of their father's trust. When they visited me four years ago, he wouldn't speak to her.

Elyse and her husband later announced they were adopting a baby. Randy visited me alone six months later, and I suggested, without success, that he put this aside until after the adoption. During the adoption, she became pregnant and had a second child. Randy still hasn't seen or talked with her or his niece and nephew. Our relationship has deteriorated since.

Randy and Elyse tried a mediator last year, again without success. (I should mention he doesn't speak with his mother, either.) He has dodged any further discussion about the situation. I'm at a loss. We were all so close, and I miss him, but I can't accept his actions anymore. Any suggestions? -- UNCLE IN PAIN

DEAR UNCLE: In some families, blood is thicker than water. Your nephew appears to feel that money is thicker than blood. As much as you might wish to do it, you can't change him. Because his unwillingness to relent is causing you pain, limit your interactions with him and maintain your relationship with Elyse, the children and Randy's mother.

DEAR ABBY: I got pregnant at 15 and had my oldest daughter at 16. I met my husband at 18, and went on to have four more daughters. I have been with him for more than 30 years (I just turned 49).

My girls are living their own lives now. The thing is, now that I'm alone with my husband, I have come to discover that we have nothing in common. I want to leave him, but I have no money, no car and no job. I have become someone I never thought I would become -- alone with no life!

My husband ignores me and drinks a lot. When we visit family, it's a free-for-all drunk fest for him. I just don't have the energy at my age to deal with a drunk. I dealt all my life with an alcoholic father and I don't want to do it anymore. How do I begin to rebuild my life and start over? I really need to do this for myself. -- AT A CROSSROADS IN OHIO

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: I agree that rebuilding your life is something you need to do for yourself. The surest way to accomplish it would be to get a job. This may eventually equip you to survive on your own. If you need transportation, ask your daughters for help, or take public transportation.

If you prefer not to attend "family" gatherings, have your husband go alone. Your father's alcoholism may have contributed to the fact that you married someone with an alcohol problem, thinking it was "normal." If that's the case, consider finding a nearby chapter of Al-Anon (al-anon.org/info) or Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (adultchildren.org) and attend some of the meetings. They are sometimes held online, so you could do it on a computer, if necessary. I wish you luck on your journey.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow with three serious illnesses, one of which is potentially deadly. I hesitate to confide in some of my friends because the majority of them go into a litany of their illnesses. For the most part, their ailments are common and require just a small change in diet or perhaps losing some weight. What makes it uncomfortable for me is they act like they are in a life-threatening situation, which they aren't.

I find it increasingly difficult to empathize with their common colds, achy joints, etc. How can I explain to these folks how much they upset me? For the most part, they are good people, just very self-centered. -- CHALLENGED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR CHALLENGED: It may be unrealistic to expect friends who don't know about your serious medical conditions to empathize with you or stop complaining about their aches and pains. Rather than say their complaints are annoying, tell them the truth about what's going on with you. After that, try to remember that regardless of how minor, every person's health challenges are important to them, even if on the grand scale of things they don't seem that way to you.