DEAR ABBY: My 9-year-old daughter, "Kennedy," plays volleyball. One of the assistant coaches is a transgender woman. I had known about the coach before Kennedy started playing. Although I'm OK with a transgender person coaching my child (I feel their gender identity is absolutely none of my business), my husband is not. He wants our daughter to quit a sport she loves so she won't be "exposed" to something he doesn't agree with. He is not transphobic, just very conservative, and he doesn't want Kennedy growing up around it.

We're trying to steer her in the right direction with our Christian beliefs, which include loving and accepting everyone. The coach doesn't broadcast the fact that she's transgender; my daughter learned about it from a teammate. There is no other volleyball team in the area. How can I convince my husband to let her stay with a sport and team she loves? -- SPORTY MOM IN THE SOUTH

DEAR MOM: Actually, your husband IS transphobic and possibly homophobic as well. He may think that by forbidding Kennedy from participating in volleyball, he is protecting her. However, what he fails to understand is that children are already aware. Her friend certainly is.

As Kennedy grows older, she is going to meet many people who are "different" -- different races, religions and sexual orientations. As a good Christian, she should accept and love them for who they are. She should not be punished by being forced to drop an activity she loves.

P.S. Has your husband actually met the assistant coach? Perhaps he should approach her at a practice and introduce himself, so he can get to know her as a fellow human being.

DEAR ABBY: I had a hard time during the COVID pandemic. I'm a stress eater but got that under control years ago. However, over the last year, I've been having issues with stress drinking. I sneak many shots of whisky or vodka. I'm lucky it has only been at midday and no driving was involved, but I have had a few blackouts.

My husband of 35-plus years (we're both retired) has no inkling I have this problem. In the past he has said he can control it, so I can, too. He feels the same about our weight. I walk four miles and work out every day and eat healthy, but I can't lose weight. He can, at the drop of a hat. I need advice. -- HURTING RETIREE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RETIREE: First it was food, now it's alcohol. If you want to conquer your compulsive behavior, it's important that you figure out what's causing the stress that's triggering it. Because your husband can control his appetites does not automatically mean that you are able to. It may take help from your doctor or a licensed therapist to conquer your tendency toward addiction. Once you quit sneaking those shots of booze on a daily basis, I suspect you will notice a marked change in your weight.

DEAR ABBY: My aunt is a money-hungry, conniving thief. From the time I was a baby, she always bought me gifts. But when her parents (my grandparents) died, she literally stole more than $200,000 from them. She claims my grandfather willed it all to her, which is not true because he detested her. She promised my mom $5,000 when she retired. Well, it has been 10 years since Mom retired, and my aunt claims she doesn't remember promising her. Then she claimed she invested and lost it. Do I have a right to be angry at her? -- MAD IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MAD: I think so, and your mother has the right to be even angrier. My question for you is how much time do you want to waste nursing the grudge? It doesn't hurt your aunt, but it takes up space in your head that could be devoted to positive endeavors. This is not to say you must maintain a relationship with this woman. Quite the contrary.

DEAR ABBY: We have been visiting our children and have been asked to remove our shoes when inside. I am diabetic. I have been complying with the no-shoes edicts, but reluctantly. We keep our shoes on in our home, so spending several days padding around in my socks makes me uncomfortable.

Abby, diabetics are cautioned to keep their shoes on at all times, even inside. There are real risks to a diabetic's feet. Also, I have trouble navigating stairs and slipped several times while climbing or descending the stairs in my stocking feet. It's dangerous for me to go up and down uncarpeted wood steps. It seems to me that the no-shoes folk should think about some of these issues before issuing a mandate. -- DIABETIC DAD IN MISSOURI

DEAR DAD: Do nothing that is counter to your doctor's orders. If you haven't explained them to your children, do it now. Perhaps a compromise could work: Buy a pair of shoes or slippers for indoor use only that you leave at their home for the times when you visit. However, if they are not open to this idea, you will have to visit with them only outside their home.

DEAR ABBY: I like this guy at work. I think he's cute, but I don't know if he's interested. I also don't know if there's a chance he would ask me out. I'm scared I might be considered a "cougar." I am older than he is by five (or more) years. Please advise. -- ANXIOUS IN MARYLAND

DEAR ANXIOUS: Are there any rules at work that discourage employees from dating each other? Some businesses have them. Does this guy spend time talking with you during breaks? If he does, it's a hopeful sign. Has he mentioned what he does outside of work and whether he's seeing anyone? If he does flirt with you, you could always ask if he'd be interested in meeting for a drink after work, going to a sporting event, etc. But be prepared that he may want you only for a friend.

DEAR ABBY: I am an out gay Black man. Several weeks ago, the man I have had a crush on told me he's now in a relationship. While I'm happy for him, I can't help feeling somewhat resentful because I wanted to be with him. I haven't dated anyone since my last relationship ended seven years ago. I have now distanced myself and limit myself to interactions and observations of his relationship on social media and in person, while also focusing on my own goals and aspirations. I haven't messaged him since he expressed that he's in a relationship.

Since that time, I have registered for the Law School Admission Test, started working part time as a coach helping students with ADHD strengthen their writing skills, and volunteer to teach web development to K-5 students. Normally, a relationship isn't a necessity for my survival, given that I have focused solely on my career and educational goals over the past several years.

My question is: Is it worth holding onto these feelings I have for him, or should I move on? During our last conversation, he told me that if he ever finds himself single again, he would like to take me on a date. -- SINGLE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SINGLE: You are doing all of the right things. You have a wonderful future ahead of you if you continue pointing yourself in that direction. I admire you for keeping busy by trying to help others achieve their goals. Whomever you wind up with will be getting a winner. The time has come to begin taking care of your emotional self. The last thing you need is to pine away hoping someone's romance will end so he'll ask you out. On the course you are on, you will meet Mr. Right, someone who is as dynamic as you.

DEAR ABBY: My late brother's only child and her husband and 2-year-old baby want to come from the West Coast to the Midwest for 11 days during Thanksgiving. They would have to stay with my 87-year-old mother, who uses a walker and was recently in the hospital and rehab facility after surgery. I would like them to wait until spring when she's feeling stronger. The baby will be less needy by then and crying less often.

I don't want them to think we don't want them to visit, but it's entirely too much for my mom. I don't have room for them to stay with me, and they can't afford a hotel. I don't want to hurt my niece's feelings, but this visit would set Mom back. Her routine is important to her. When they visited less than a year ago, they stayed a week and it wore her out. Now she's even less physically able to host. Help me, please. -- NIXING IT IN OHIO

DEAR NIXING IT: Talk to your mother about this and explain your concerns. The decision about whether the visit will be too much for her should be hers. If she's reluctant to discourage the visit from her grandchild at this time, offer to deliver the message for her. However, unless you are the person who usually directs traffic in your family (there is always someone), the message should come from her.