DEAR ABBY: I'm a 59-year-old single man who was dating a 42-year-old woman for the past three years. The whole time we dated she was going through a divorce. I supported her and helped her through it. The papers were signed four months ago. Her relationship with her ex started when she was 16 and lasted 26 years. They have a 14-year-old daughter together. Their relationship was emotionally abusive.

We had a lot in common and loved doing things together, but our relationship was rocky. During the time we were together, we split up three times because she would get upset with me over simple things but would never have a conversation to try and work it out. She has a short fuse and her temper goes from zero to 60 in a heartbeat. Our fourth argument was our last. She told me to take my things and get out.

I love her, and when I told her so many times, she would respond the same. I love her more than I can explain in words. I'm not her ex. I'm nothing like him. I've done things for her that any woman would melt over. She told me on my way out the door that she doesn't want a relationship and never did. She wants to be left alone.

After all the time I invested in us, I was crushed. We are still friends on Facebook. If I text her, she will read it but won't respond. Should I give up and move on, or let her figure her life out and hope she realizes we had something special? -- PUSHED ASIDE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PUSHED ASIDE: When a woman with a fuse that goes from zero to 60 in a heartbeat tells you she doesn't want a relationship with you and never did, it's safe to conclude that for the past three years you have been used. Has it occurred to you that the verbal abuser in her past relationship may have been her? Please, for your own sake, take the hint. Look for someone who will appreciate and return the love and kindness you offer. Although you may not think so now, you have just dodged a bullet.

DEAR ABBY: My little sister and I got along great as kids. We played together a lot, and even when we made new friends and grew different interests, we promised to always have each other's backs.

In high school, I befriended and eventually started dating a girl my family adored, my sister included. After nine years, we have finally become engaged, but now my sister has grown hostile toward us. She never hinted that she disliked my fiancee before, and nobody in our family can get a reason from her.

My mother wants her to be part of our wedding, but with this change in her behavior, I'm not comfortable with the idea. Did I do something wrong? Should I question her to get to the bottom of this? -- BAFFLED BROTHER

DEAR BAFFLED: Definitely do that. If you approach it privately, your sister may be more comfortable answering you honestly. It may be she's afraid of losing the close relationship she has enjoyed with you all these years. If that's the case, you may be able to reassure her. If it's something else she might be reluctant to discuss in the presence of other relatives, talking one-on-one will better your chances of getting her to disclose what's bothering her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged married man and the father of two. Although I work as a banker, I'm also an aspiring pianist. I have practiced two to three hours a day for many years. My music is unique -- unlike anything ever heard. My wife of 18 years does not appreciate my music. She never comments on it, never pays a compliment and never supports me about it.

I do receive praise from my transcriber, my recording editor, my audio engineer, strangers, friends, my parents and my 8-year-old daughter. I'm tempted to call our marriage quits, but divorce, as we all know, is messy, and she's a good mother and homemaker.

Something else that makes me want to leave is that I'm good with the ladies and, in the past, I've had more than my share of female companionship. The combination of a wife who doesn't appreciate my art and the temptation of once again being the stud I was (after a minor makeover and some weight loss) and resuming those wonderful adventures, is enough incentive for me to end my marriage.

Once my music starts hitting streaming platforms, I expect great things. But since my wife is indifferent to my artistic pursuit, I'm conflicted about whether I should remain married to her or risk a lot by getting a divorce. Please help me make the right decision. -- MUSIC MAKER IN THE EAST

DEAR MUSIC MAKER: It's time for some self-reflection. Are you simply unhappy in your marriage and using your music and past track record with the ladies as an excuse to leave? My suggestion is that you postpone dynamiting your marriage until after you have a few musical hits under your belt. If you are as gifted as you proclaim, your circumstances may change for the better. But if they don't, you might be better off sticking to your day job and keeping music as a beloved hobby.

As to kicking over the traces and becoming a "stud" again (after the minor makeover and some weight loss), perhaps you should be careful what you wish for. There are worse flaws in a spouse than lack of music appreciation. In this environment, there's no telling who (or what) you could pick up, which is why I'm advising you to stand pat.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter just told her husband of six years (and two beautiful children) that she no longer wants a relationship with him. Truthfully, he hasn't worked since COVID and spends most of the day on the couch on his phone. She wants to keep things amicable, and has an appointment with an attorney in three weeks, which he is aware of. We want her happiness. Any recommendations? -- HOPING FOR THE BEST IN NEVADA

DEAR HOPING: Only this: Your son-in-law may be suffering from depression. If your daughter's happiness is all you want, stay out of it. However, if you wish to make a feeble effort to save her marriage for the sake of your beautiful grandchildren, suggest that before she throws in the towel they both talk with a marriage and family therapist. If she ignores your suggestion, you'll at least know you tried.

DEAR ABBY: We have a group of friends who get together most Friday nights. We go out to eat, meet for drinks or gather at one of the group member's homes for dinner and drinks. One person in particular constantly complains about everything every single week.

They don't like the restaurant that was chosen, or the food the host prepared or the place the pizza was ordered from. Once, they kept repeatedly telling the host they wanted to punch the host's son in the face because he was rude to the host on his way out for the evening. This guest's spouse also nitpicks relentlessly. It makes everybody uncomfortable.

It has reached the point that the group doesn't want to get together anymore because of the damper this couple puts on the evening. My spouse and I haven't seen the group for several weeks now, but we miss them. Is there a polite way to tell this couple their negativity is a drag on the rest of the group, and maybe they should seek professional help or learn to keep their mouths shut? -- DOWN WITH THE DOWNER

DEAR DOWN: No, there isn't. But you could stop inviting this particular couple. If you are asked about it, all you have to say is that you grew tired of their constant criticism, which put a damper on the events.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is married with two children and, so far, she's happy with a wonderful husband and a beautiful home. My concern -- or curiosity -- is that they have hung professionally done photos of themselves, their kids, their friends and candid images from their wedding in many of the rooms on the first floor, but there are none of my husband and me or the other grandparents. Every Christmas we receive another framed family photo of them. What would you think if we gifted them a lovely portrait of us? -- UNSEEN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR UNSEEN: I think it's worth a try, but don't be offended if they don't display it. They appear to be so centered on their nuclear family that there isn't room for anyone else in their picture-perfect house.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my wife told me her brothers have been mad at her for more than a decade and don't talk to her because of something I said at a family get-together 12 years ago. I asked what they were mad about and what the discussion was about that upset them, but they didn't say -- they just quit contacting her. To me, it's childish and rude to treat their sister that way. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions? -- DID NOT KNOW IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DID NOT: Yes, I do. The term for what your wife's brothers have been doing is "passive aggression." Because your wife's brothers aren't willing to address the issue, nothing can be done to resolve it. This is why I suggest the two of you -- and whatever other relatives you do get along with -- go on with your lives and waste no more time looking back.

DEAR READERS: Time flies! Daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday. Don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour at bedtime tonight. And while you're at it, be sure to put fresh batteries in your fire alarms and smoke detectors. -- LOVE, ABBY