DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved into a new rental house on my best friend's property a year ago. We love living here. We moved to be closer to my friend, "Noah," who is like a brother to me. He and his wife live on the same property.

Noah was diagnosed with heart disease two years ago, and was given a year to live. He has surpassed that estimate. He now wants my husband and me to buy the house we are renting. I'm hesitant because Noah's wife suffers from a mental illness.

She has always been threatened by our close friendship, and if anything goes wrong in her life, she accuses me of sabotaging her. When she's stable, she's a nice and generous person, but recently she has been experiencing hallucinations and severe paranoia.

Noah wants us to stay because he needs our support. I'm afraid that after he's gone, she'll make our lives miserable and try to contest the ownership of the property. The property is in Noah's name only. He bought it before they got married. What should I do? -- TORN TO PIECES

DEAR TORN: Your question is of a legal nature and in no state of the union am I licensed to give legal advice. That is why you, your husband and Noah need to schedule an appointment (ASAP) to discuss this business matter with an attorney who can give you guidance to ensure your interests are protected if this transaction takes place. Because it won't solve the issue of Noah's unstable wife, that question should be up to you and your husband to debate separately.

DEAR ABBY: I have been trying to develop a relationship with my half-sister, and I'm getting very mixed messages. She is mostly polite and distant. But then there are times she'll disinvite me from her child's birthday party or "unfriend" me on Facebook, etc. She explains later that she did it out of anxiety, and she seems worried about being hurt. She has an excuse every time I ask to get together.

I know she's affected by our father dying of cancer when she was young (she was 10 or 11), so I attribute her behavior to that and try not to take it personally. However, it hurts, and I'm tempted to give up. It is clear she has no interest in spending time with me. Should I stop trying to engage her? She talks warmly with our other shared relatives but not with me. I don't think I've done anything wrong, so I'm baffled. -- SLIGHTED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SLIGHTED: Your half-sister appears to have emotional challenges in addition to her anxiety. That she would disinvite you to a family function after you had accepted the invitation was rude. It's time to take the hint and step back. Having a parent in common does not guarantee siblings will have a close relationship. My advice is to go on with your life and quit pushing for something this woman is apparently unable or unwilling to give.

DEAR ABBY: I am an only child and I love my mother. My father passed away after a short illness three years ago, leaving my mother a widow. My problem is, she calls me multiple times a day. I'm not one of those women whose mom is my best friend or someone who enjoys talking on the phone. If I don't answer, she keeps calling back. She calls while I'm getting ready for work, on the way to work, while I'm at work or on the way home, etc.

I know I may regret it one day, but I don't have the energy for all her daily calls, which are basically her asking me 50 questions. I don't talk to my own grown children on a daily basis like she calls me. I have reached the point that I dread it and at times ignore her calls.

I have encouraged her to branch out -- hang out with other widows, meet new friends or join groups, but because of COVID she's hesitant. I don't want to be ugly to her, but the more she does this, the more anxious I get. I have also asked her to just text me so I can respond when I'm available, but she says she just doesn't think about that as an option.

She's a very sweet woman, but she is stressing me out! Is it me or her? Please help me so I don't ruin this relationship. As an only child, am I being selfish? -- INUNDATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR INUNDATED: It isn't you, it's her. Your mother is doing this because she feels lonely, anxious and vulnerable and may have forgotten how to socialize as an individual without your father. The COVID restrictions added to the problem because people were discouraged from hanging out in groups.

After three years, it is not selfish to create boundaries with her. Tell her you will speak to her once a day. Then screen your calls and talk with your mom when you aren't stressed and have a few minutes to spend in conversation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have visits from family several times a year. I don't cook, at least not a lot -- just simple meals for my husband and me. We are 72 and 69. Visiting family members want to cook and discuss the latest natural foods they have grown or used, and I'm left feeling like they expect the same from me. (We do occasionally take people to a nearby restaurant.)

It feels to me more like a "look what I'm doing" than casual conversation. Cooking, growing, etc. don't impress me because I have been there, moved on and am no longer interested in the achievement. How do I deal with these people? -- BEYOND IT IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BEYOND IT: You are under no obligation to alter the way you cook to suit these visitors. When your relatives start cooking and "lecturing" about nutrition and gardening, consider changing the subject. Or, pop in some earbuds and listen to your favorite podcast or music. You may find that once they realize they have lost their audience, they'll find something else to talk about.

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from an individual whose failing, elderly friend made an abrupt change to his will ("Promise Withdrawn in Texas," Aug. 27). Because of the change, the elder's entire estate will go to his live-in caregivers. The writer expressed surprise that the 90-year-old gentleman had reneged on his oft-repeated promise to name the individual in his will.

Your reply to the writer was to speak to the elder and ask why he changed his will. That is reasonable advice, but your answer should also have recommended a referral to the writer's local Adult Protective Services office. Elder exploitation is rampant in the United States. It is not uncommon for caregivers, relatives, and other trusted associates to prey upon elders for financial gain. That may come about in many ways, but social isolation, dependence upon others, failing health and cognitive decline can make elders susceptible to abuse, neglect and exploitation.

Adult Protective Services typically uses trained investigators to detect exploitation and refer crimes to law enforcement. One could reasonably suspect exploitation when a 90-year-old makes a sudden change to a will to exclude a longstanding friend. Reporters may call local law enforcement, their state's Adult Protective Services office or the U.S. Administration on Aging. As you cautioned, there is no time to waste. -- ELDER JUSTICE PROSECUTOR

DEAR PROSECUTOR: Thank you for sharing your insight and expertise regarding the subject of elder abuse. I appreciate it, and I'm sure my readers will as well. People should consider the possibility of exploitation in similar circumstances, which, sadly, may occur more often than we would like to think.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter "Anabelle" is expecting a baby in five months. We would like to be happy and excited for her and her husband except for one issue. She had a falling-out with her parents over planning her wedding, among other things.

Her grandfather, my husband, walked her down the aisle because all parties involved were still angry. Her parents and sister did not attend, although she and her sister have recently made up. I think my son and his wife would also like to reconcile, but Anabelle remains adamant that she doesn't want to see them. As with most families, there's a history of hurt feelings on both sides.

Our problem: Anabelle has asked us not to tell her parents she's expecting. I feel this is wrong, but I am respecting her wishes. I know if I tell them at this late date or if they find out some other way, they will be understandably hurt and angry and may want to "kill the messenger." I feel stuck in the middle of this heartbreaking situation. The worry over it is making me ill. Should I share this news or stay quiet? -- TIED IN KNOTS OUT WEST

DEAR TIED: While the breach in your family is regrettable, news of this pregnancy is not yours to give. If your granddaughter wanted to keep it a secret, she should not have shared it and put you in the middle. If you are wise, you will stay out of it.