DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend, "Grant," and I live two states apart and have visited each other several times. He's four years older than I am. We met three years ago, when Grant was 19 and I was 15, and became friends through banter online. However, he had a girlfriend and we were nothing more than friends. I developed feelings, but he did not reciprocate because I was underage. Later, after he and his girlfriend broke up, I told him how I felt and we became a couple. That was 10 months ago.

Grant asked me to move in with him next year, and I have decided to do so. His college tuition and housing are paid for, and he wants to help in paying mine while we pursue an in-person relationship. Some of my relatives know about my decision, but the two family members I live with do not. They are very serious and old-fashioned in their beliefs and do not respect my relationship in any way. I'm not sure how to tell them about my decision to move 900 miles away to a state where neither Grant nor I have friends or family. I'm looking for any advice possible. -- BIG PLANS IN INDIANA

DEAR BIG PLANS: I'm glad you are seeking advice about this because I have serious reservations about what you are planning. If you move in with Grant (as generous as his offer may be), you will be denying him and yourself an important aspect of the college experience. This is a chance for each of you to complete your education, as well as grow and define yourselves as individuals. Both of you will meet new people and develop interests apart from the other, which is both challenging and healthy. Please do not deny yourself or Grant this important experience.

DEAR ABBY: Our family is worried about my brother. Ever since he met and married his wife, he has changed. There was a "surprise" baby. Access to the baby is limited -- even my parents, who visit only once a year, must schedule an appointment at least two days in advance. My brother now rarely leaves the house. He has begun questioning my parents about their will. He is asking to be bought out of the family business, which he has stated numerous times that he absolutely loves being a part of.

Abby, I know you typically say to stand aside and offer support if asked, but some of his decisions, like wanting to leave the family business, will have serious negative impacts on the whole family. Is there anything we can do? -- CONCERNED BIG BROTHER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR BIG BROTHER: Your brother's wife appears to be very controlling. Is he all right? I ask because you wrote that he has always loved the family business. Because his request to be bought out will affect everyone, all of the principals -- including your brother -- should meet with your attorney as well as your financial adviser to discuss what that will mean for all of you. If this is being caused by your brother's wife, do not allow her to isolate him. Assure him that you will always be there for him regardless where his path may lead.

DEAR ABBY: I recently went out to a bar with some friends. I was the designated driver because I no longer drink. I had a drinking problem, but I have been sober for almost seven years. The majority of the people I socialize with are supportive of my sobriety -- except one.

I have been good friends with a guy for several years. The problem is his girlfriend. She keeps mocking me for not drinking. She thinks it's all in my head and has said so to my face. I usually ignore her, but on this particular night, when it was her turn to buy the round, she set the glass down in front of me with a smirk on her face.

I was drinking regular Coke and didn't think anything about it. I thanked her and when I went to take a sip, I smelled the alcohol in it right away. Abby, she had told the bartender to put rum in my Coke. I confronted her, loudly, in front of our friends, and she called me a party pooper. She then announced that it was all in my head, and told me to lighten up. I picked up the drink, threw it in her face and stormed out.

Now my friends are mad at ME for causing a scene and embarrassing HER. I admit I lost my temper, but I feel she was totally in the wrong. I have tried to talk to them about how I felt about her disregarding my sobriety, but it's falling on deaf ears. Is there any way to fix this? -- SOBER IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR SOBER: Everyone in that crowd knows you have a problem with alcohol. Your friends should have interceded to stop that woman's bullying when it first started. That she would actually sneak a spiked drink to you was very dangerous, and I'm glad you caught on to the deception. She deserved the reaction she got for trying to sabotage you. "Fix" this by socializing with other members of the group without this couple, or find some new friends.

P.S. That this woman has such a problem with you abstaining from alcohol indicates to me that she has real problems of her own.

DEAR ABBY: I am childless -- not by choice -- and I have a hard time with this topic. I was married for 14 years and divorced at 39. I felt so hurt and betrayed I could barely function much less try to plan for the future and a family. Needless to say, the family I hoped for never happened. My siblings don't have children either.

I don't feel as though I have a real "family," and when holidays, birthdays and Mother's Day roll around, it adds to my stress and depression. It also doesn't help when I meet new people always having to face the question of children. How do you advise someone barely shy of 60 on how to fill this HUGE void in my life and/or cure the heartache that seems to mount as the years roll by? -- NOT BY CHOICE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT BY CHOICE: One of the surest ways to battle the blues is to do something for someone else. On holidays, volunteer to help families who are less fortunate financially than you. Contact a church or a shelter, ask what some of the children might need and bring gifts. It may give you less time to dwell on what you don't have and salve some of the ache in your heart.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married six years, and ever since we've been married, my husband's daughter has insisted that I can't come to her house that my husband has a mortgage on. I think he should tell her that if his wife isn't welcome, then he isn't.

My husband is 19 years older than I am and has health issues. I am there for him and take care of him, and I'm hurt that he doesn't speak up for me. I feel his daughter should want us to come over together for the sake of her dad. The time is coming when she and the rest of his family will have to come to our house to see him. I don't know if I would be so willing to let them, since they don't want me being part of the family.

I have talked to my husband about this and I'm getting nowhere. He now has dementia. He forgets quite a bit, and he insists it's me and not his daughter who says I'm not welcome. I'm at my wit's end. What do you think about this? -- MIFFED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIFFED: I think there may be some relevant facts you didn't include in your letter. Does your husband's daughter resent you because of the difference in your ages? Did you have anything to do with the breakup of his first marriage? When you wrote "they" don't want you to be part of the family, exactly to whom were you referring?

Frankly, if I were in your shoes, the last thing I would want to do is force my way into a home where I wasn't wanted. I wouldn't be comfortable under those circumstances, and I am having trouble understanding why you would be.

If the time comes when your husband becomes too incapacitated to visit his daughter and the rest of the family, please take the high road and do the compassionate thing. Invite them in so they can be of comfort to your husband. If there is any way to fire up the peace pipe, that is the way to do it.

P.S. Because your husband holds the mortgage on his daughter's home, I HOPE he has consulted an attorney and put his wishes regarding estate planning in writing.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new mom who is fortunate to be able to breastfeed. We've had several guests come to our house to meet the baby, and if she needs to nurse, I go to the couch and allow her to breastfeed. I don't feel the need to hide in another room in my own house when I'm comfortable on my couch with all my necessary pillows to assist.

My sister wanted to bring her new boyfriend over to meet my husband, the baby and me. Before they came, she called to ask me to refrain from "whipping out my boobs" in front of her new beau. I don't view breastfeeding as flashing, but she prioritized his comfort over mine in my own house. I don't mind using a cover to shield people from seeing my chest, but was her request valid and should I go into another room in my own home? -- FEEDING IN THE WEST

DEAR FEEDING: Most people are aware that breastfeeding is a natural function. If "Sis" is uncomfortable with the idea of her new boyfriend seeing you breastfeed, the two of them should excuse themselves and go to another room or choose a time to visit between feedings.