DEAR ABBY: I'm a single man who has a close female friend who is also single. We live about a half-hour apart, so for the last 25 years, much of our relationship happened on the phone. We talked almost daily.

Two years ago, I noticed she had stopped calling me unless it was to make plans to get together. Then I noticed that when I called her, she'd let it go to voicemail and not return my call for days. About a year ago, she stopped returning my voice messages altogether. I tried reducing my calls drastically, but no dice. I also tried switching to texts, but she doesn't respond to those, either.

You might conclude that she's unfriending me, but that's not the case. We still get together often for dinner or a movie, usually at her suggestion via email, and she still acts like we are close friends and nothing is wrong. But not returning, or even acknowledging, my calls or texts sure feels wrong to me. I have tried asking her about it, but she brushes it off by saying she "didn't hear the phone." Or she's "bad at checking voicemail and texts."

Her latest excuse is, she's "just not good on the telephone." Abby, I know phone etiquette has changed and young people rarely use the phone these days. But we are in our 60s, and for 25 years our relationship was largely on the phone. It's one thing to want to cut back on that, or even to stop calling me. But ignoring my (now infrequent) calls or texts seems hurtful. Is this normal, and should I still consider such a person one of my closest friends? -- GHOSTED IN THE WEST

DEAR GHOSTED: A sudden change in pattern is not normal. Something has changed. Because you can't get her to explain what has caused this change in her behavior, consider taking a page out of her playbook. Communicate with her via email only in response to her emails to you, and find some other friends who will treat you courteously.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow, and I miss my husband very much. We used to go out to dinner together often. I have friends I have dinners with, but sometimes I go out by myself. Every time I do, after I say I am dining alone, the host or hostess asks, "Just you?" It is like an insult -- just me? Like I need a reminder that I am alone without a husband.

I recently mentioned this to a friend who told me he experiences the same thing when he dines alone. He, too, considers it insulting. Please share this with readers who work in the hospitality industry. -- JUST ME IN COLORADO

DEAR JUST ME: I'm printing your letter, but I think you may be reacting to a question that may be more about procedure than a social commentary. Your host or server may ask that question because they want to know whether the extra place settings should be removed from the table.

DEAR READERS: As I reflect back on this past year, I also want to wish you a happy, healthy 2023. Did it fly by for you as quickly as it did for me? I will join you tonight in "toasting" a new year that, I hope, will be a less stressful one for all of us. If you are celebrating tonight, please take measures to protect not only your own health, but also the safety of others. Happy New Year, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I was married to a man whose family always seemed to be in each other's business. His 18-year-old niece already had two children when she became pregnant again. She hid it from everyone. When she was eight months gone, she came to me and told me she wanted to adopt the baby out to a family who couldn't have children, because she couldn't handle raising another child.

She begged me not to tell anyone except my husband (her uncle) and asked me to watch her two children overnight while she was at the hospital delivering. She also asked to meet the potential adoptive parents at my home and said she planned to have an open adoption without ever telling her parents. I told her she needed to talk with her mother, but she told me she was desperate for help, so I reluctantly agreed.

Two months after giving birth and placing the baby for adoption, she told her family about it. They became very upset with me. They said I should have told them she was pregnant and that it was my fault they "lost" the child. This ultimately led to my husband divorcing me. To this day, the niece is happy with her decision and participates in the open adoption. Was I wrong to help her and not tell the family? -- CONFIDANT IN COLORADO

DEAR CONFIDANT: Your letter proves the truth of the adage, "No good deed goes unpunished." Your ex-husband's niece was an adult at the time her third child was born. You were NOT wrong to help her. That she would betray you after begging for your help shows she wasn't mature enough to handle the responsibilities of parenting yet another child.

You were not responsible for her baby being adopted -- she was. Her parents have transferred their anger and disappointment in her to you. That it resulted in the failure of your marriage is a shame. I would offer my sympathy, but perhaps you should thank your lucky stars that this dysfunctional family is in the rear-view mirror.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbors and I are lucky to live in a beautiful community, which is quiet and peaceful. Most of us are retired. Four of us have dogs, and we enjoy meeting up and walking them down our street in the mornings. We never walk before 7:30. Quiet hours in our neighborhood are from 6 p.m. to 7 a.m.

Naturally, we chat as we walk our dogs -- at normal voice levels. One of our neighbors likes to sleep until 9 a.m., and he keeps complaining that our conservations wake him up. We try to talk softly. But he complains constantly -- and nastily -- about "the dog walkers." How can we handle this tactfully? We feel we have the right to enjoy our beautiful neighborhood. -- CO-EXISTING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR CO-EXISTING: Of course you do. However, in the spirit of neighborliness, consider walking your dogs in the opposite direction. Either that, or stop chatting when you are near his house and resume once you have passed his bedroom window.

DEAR ABBY: I have always been the outsider in my family. My grandma raised me because Mom was an alcoholic and ran the streets with her boyfriend. My grandma died three months ago, and I have been having a hard time dealing with it.

My mother has moved into my grandma's house and wants me to come visit her. This is a problem because everywhere I look, it reminds me of my grandma. I have told her this, but she thinks that since she's painted and decorated it differently, it shouldn't be a problem for me.

I am the only child who has anything to do with her (she gave up my oldest sister), and she uses guilt when I don't come out and help her clean or go grocery shopping for her. I was raised to believe that we should take care of our elders, but I still have issues with her not being in my life growing up. I don't know how to handle this without just refusing to go. What should I do? -- CONFLICTED IN MISSOURI

DEAR CONFLICTED: Tell your mother the truth, just as you related it to me. Explain that although she may have painted and redecorated the house, seeing the place without your grandmother in it is depressing and you are no longer willing to do it. And the next time she asks you to help her clean or go shopping for her, say no and tell her why. Unless you have left something out of your letter about your relationship with her over the last decade, I don't think you should feel obligated to her at all.

DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law, 78, was a caregiver for 10 years before his wife died five years ago. After her passing, he eventually renewed his zest for life, joined clubs and found a girlfriend. His health challenges have mounted during the last two years, though, and he no longer has the energy to follow up on medical appointments or do much of anything.

My husband and I call him every day and visit three to four times a week. His medical issues can be surmounted, but he can no longer schedule appointments and advocate for himself with our overwhelmed medical community. If we press him on it, he gets defensive. He doesn't seem to want to talk about his medical problems, and he doesn't understand the burden he's placing on his son to medically advocate for him (a role he also held on behalf of his mother as she battled MS).

My husband (age 40) lost the last few years of his mom's life to a horrible disease. Now he's losing the last few years of his dad's life to indifference and depression. Should we keep pushing Dad to get medical attention? Should we keep dragging him to appointments and nagging him about it? Or should we just let him give up? -- ROADBLOCK IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ROADBLOCK: It is important that your father-in-law be evaluated not only for depression but also for dementia. His mental ability in the areas of working memory, flexible thinking and self-control -- skills he needs to manage his daily life -- appears to have become impaired. His doctor needs to be made aware of what's going on. If you and your husband can confirm the reason this is happening, you may have the solution to your problem.