DEAR ABBY: I'm a 32-year-old woman. My 20s were spent in a serious long-term relationship. It was a lot of firsts for me. After we split, I took a couple of years to sow my wild oats and find out who I am as an individual.

I'm now looking for something more than "friends with benefits." However, the last few men I've met and gone on dates with, as wholesome as they seemed on dating sites (which have been my main source of meeting men), were really just looking for hookups. I want to find a life partner.

I have been chatting with a potentially great guy I met online, and we have a date scheduled. But I'm nervous that when we meet that he'll expect more than a date. I'm over that. Like I said, I want an actual relationship.

Can you give me some advice on what to do and say, or not, on a first or second date to help move it in the right direction without scaring the guy away? -- PROCEEDING WITH CAUTION

DEAR PROCEEDING: Your dating profile should clearly state what you are looking for, including the fact that you are seeking a relationship and not a hookup. When you meet in person, relax and just be yourself. Show initiative by asking questions, getting answers, explaining how important honesty is to you and being interested in what he has to say. If you are hit on after that, rather than try to meet someone on the internet, put out the word among your friends, family and co-workers that you would like to meet someone nice with whom you could possibly build a future. Then pray.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and his wife are professionals who reap the financial benefits of their chosen fields. Our daughter-in-law goes to her workplace most days, while our son works from home. As such, he is tasked with much of the cleaning, shopping and cooking. Our DIL has a large cadre of college friends and she's often away to sunny, exotic locales, posting pictures of herself along with others, all holding drinks in their hands.

Recently, she went on a trip with her "best friend," a gay man, posting poolside, restaurant and bar photos with both wearing big smiles. Meanwhile, our son is home working and taking care of their pets. This arrangement may work for them, but it doesn't sit well with us. Frankly, despite his insistence that things are fine, we are not convinced.

They are both in their prime reproductive years and, while they have no children yet, our DIL's mother recently moved nearby. My spouse and I realize that it is "their lives," but we remain concerned and confused about the viability of their relationship. Your insights would be most appreciated. -- DAD OF GREAT GUY IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR DAD: I'm sorry the dream you had of your son's marriage has not come to fruition. Comfort yourself with the thought that whatever their arrangement may be, it is working for them. Apart from that, MYOB and resist the urge to stir the pot, or risk creating turmoil and unhappiness where there isn't any.

DEAR ABBY: The other day I went to the pool in my neighborhood and found there were four lounge chairs with towels on them indicating they were "reserved." They are the best chairs in the pool area because they are covered by a small roof and protected from the sun. I then had to use another chair that only partially covered me.

It wasn't until three hours later, when I was about to leave, that a couple carrying party items showed up to claim the chairs. Would it have been OK to move the "reserved" chairs to another area and put mine under the roof, and then put them back when I leave? What if the people come and I'm still there? -- ALL WET IN FLORIDA

DEAR ALL WET: What those neighbors did was rude. Yes, it would have been OK for you to sit in the shade, protected from the sun. If the entitled folks who tied up the chairs (for hours) came down to use them within 15 minutes, you could have moved. But under the circumstances, you should not have given up yours.

DEAR ABBY: Please urge your readers to turn off their TVs and shut off their phones. My husband died while we were celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary. He was watching a TV program I didn't care for, so I went in the other room to watch something else. I fell asleep, and when I went back into his room at the resort, he was dead.

I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for not staying and watching it with him. How I wish we had turned the TV off and just talked that night -- talked about everything that had happened since we met, the things we did right and the things we did wrong. I wish we had stayed awake and talked until he took his last breath.

I can't change what happened to me, but I know some of your readers can prevent it from happening to them. I miss my darling every day. Put those phones down! Turn your TVs off! Enjoy the love of your life while they are here with you. -- JUST SAYING IN THE WEST

DEAR JUST SAYING: You did nothing to feel guilty for. Anyone who has lost a loved one has regrets; some more than others. What stands out most in your letter is its message to appreciate what we have while we still have it, because it applies to more than just widowhood. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss, and thank you for wanting to warn others.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a dear friend who comes from out of town to visit a couple of times a year. We have known him for many years and enjoy his company. The problem is he has started wearing an excessive amount of cologne. It has reached the point where the scent is overwhelming. It gets into the upholstery, the mattress in the guest bedroom, etc.

It's not that either of us is allergic, it's just that he uses way too much, and the fragrance lingers on long after he departs. So how do we have a conversation with someone who has "good" hygiene? -- MAKES NO SCENTS IN TEXAS

DEAR MAKES NO SCENTS: A diplomatic way would be to tell this friend that you or your wife has developed a "sensitivity" (do not use the word "allergy," which would be a lie) to scents, so you would appreciate it if he refrains from using any during his visits.

DEAR ABBY: Throughout my childhood, my mother was controlling in many ways. One of them was my clothes. She dressed me in ridiculous outfits that I found humiliating. If I expressed an opinion about anything, I was treated as being "bad." It affected my mental health, which resulted in me hating the way I look.

I went through multiple eating disorders and addiction, and I had plastic surgery 15 years ago. After many years of therapy, I am now doing better emotionally. I also endured many years of heart-shattering infertility, but I am finally a mother, working hard to give my child a better life than I had.

My mother continues buying clothes for my child, and receiving these "gifts" fills me with rage. My son is too young to pick out his own clothes, but I know what he likes and choose clothes accordingly. I allow him to select which items he wears, guilt free. My mother seems to buy clothes based on my son's interests, but I resent her buying any clothes for him. I want her to stop. It's my turn to be a parent!

I feel so much guilt, anger and shame giving away or selling clothes I don't want, like I'm being "bad." Despite therapy, my childhood trauma persists. How can I ask my mother to stop buying unwanted "gifts"? -- BAD KID FOR LIFE

DEAR BAD KID: Do not ASK your mother to stop buying clothing for your son -- TELL her. While you're at it, tell her what you have been doing with them, and why. Then, if she doesn't already know, explain exactly how the way she raised you affected you. To do that isn't being "bad"; it is honest and long overdue. If she persists after that, feel free to donate the clothes, because another child might be thrilled to have them.

DEAR ABBY: My 50-year-old daughter divorced her husband 15 years ago because she thought she could do better. From what I could see, he was a good husband. She didn't work and lived a comfortable lifestyle with two small children. Since the divorce, that lifestyle has gone steadily downhill. She can't hold a job because she always finds some way to be offended, and quits.

She had a house my husband and I paid the down payment on, but lost it by making the ownership joint with her abusive second husband. She no longer receives child support because her children are grown, so her finances are worse than ever. We bought her a car last year because she had no transportation.

My question is this: How much should we continue to financially support her? We are well-off, but where should our obligation end for a daughter who continues to make bad decisions? -- PUT-UPON MOM IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOM: As parents of a 50-year-old daughter, you and your husband are likely in your 70s. You have two choices. If you wish to continue enabling your daughter, she will receive whatever is left of your estate, so she shouldn't be homeless after you die if you leave it in a trust. If you don't wish to continue your financial support, you may need counseling to help you overcome your instinct to rescue your self-destructive daughter, who is no longer a child.