DEAR ABBY: My husband and I own a parrot we take with us pretty much everywhere. He draws a lot of attention and questions from strangers, which I'm usually happy to answer.

You might be surprised at how many people own or have owned birds, and many of them love to share their stories about how their parrot or parakeet died. (It's often from neglect or improper care or breeding.) These stories are often related in a jovial way, as if they should be amusing or relatable. It really upsets me to have to stand there nodding with fake amusement or sympathy. I am tempted to say something snarky, but I refrain.

I love birds, and I don't like being reminded how disposably they are treated. People don't tend to share graphic stories about dead dogs, cats or children in public. It makes me sad to hear about their dead birds every time I go outside to enrich my own pet's life. What can I say to stop this unwanted and depressing storytelling before it gets started? -- BIRD LOVER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BIRD LOVER: Try being honest and telling these people that hearing about their experience makes you sad, and why. That should shut 'em up.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing the same man for a year and a half. In the beginning, we were, basically, friends with benefits, and we were OK with that. Having both gone through recent breakups or divorce, neither of us wanted anything serious. However, after six months passed, I started falling for him. He always made clear that if he didn't want to go down that road, we would break ties, but the way he acted indicated that maybe one day there would be more.

After eight months, we found out I was two months pregnant. Our baby changed how we both felt about a relationship, but we had things we needed to work through before going down that road. I started therapy -- not for him, but because I knew I needed it for myself and, ultimately, our daughter.

We moved in together five months ago. Being together with our daughter has been wonderful. It has made me fall even more in love with him. When I recently told him I want to officially be his lady, he said there are still a few things he wants me to work on -- not personality changes, but things like the fact that I'm pushy. I recognize I can be that way, and impatient too, but I feel I wouldn't be so pushy if he gave me more definitive answers. What do you think about this? -- READY FOR A REAL RELATIONSHIP

DEAR READY: I applaud you for seeing a therapist to work through your issues. Now I think the time has come for you and this man to seek couples counseling to determine whether you can iron out your differences. I am not sure whether you two were really on the same page from the beginning of this relationship. Counseling should help you decide how to move forward now that there is a child involved, because you will be co-parenting for a long time, regardless of the direction your relationship takes.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years works six days a week with Sundays off. For the last six weeks, my calls have gone unanswered from Saturday evening through Monday morning. He'd provide a lame excuse, apologize for the "missed" calls, and the next weekend, the same thing would happen. Long story short, he was spending time in a drug house on the weekends. He ignored my calls because he didn't want me to know what he was doing. He says it's "no big deal," he isn't doing it anymore and we should move forward as if this never happened.

My issue is, I no longer trust him or his judgment because I never imagined he'd do anything like this. Since he has, I no longer feel like I know him. What he did was deceitful and extremely selfish. Now he says I'm throwing away our relationship because "he made a mistake." To me, it isn't a mistake if you repeat the behavior over and over. He chose to do drugs, hide it and ignore me, and he didn't care about anything or anyone but himself.

Now I know, and I am not accepting the behavior. I believe he will do it again, so I'm separating myself from him until he can show me he's no longer doing those things. As for now, we are done. His words are meaningless. I'm not accepting his guilt trip that I'm ending this over nothing. Am I doing the right thing? -- TAKING A BREAK IN TEXAS

DEAR TAKING: Yes! A thousand times yes. Knowing he spent six weekends in a drug house makes me wonder if he was also involved in sexual activities. (Please have yourself tested.) Your boyfriend lied and disrespected you. He likes getting high and enjoys the company of people who break the law. You are doing yourself a huge favor by getting rid of him. Make it permanent. Bravo for you.

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend "Lana" and her husband both passed away a while back. Recently, my son confided that he and Lana's daughter had an affair years ago that resulted in a child. We all grew up close and regarded ourselves as related even though we were not. Lana's daughter married someone and passed the child off as her husband's. I never noticed how much that young man resembles my son before. I always called him one of my grandsons in an unofficial capacity. He is grown and married now.

Since I learned that he is my biological grandson, I have ached to acknowledge our relationship. But I don't want to rock the boat and disrupt the family dynamic, let alone break my son's trust. Should I take this secret to my grave? After all, he already calls me "Nana." -- REAL TRUTH IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR REAL TRUTH: Do nothing without first talking about this with your son. Because of the popularity of DNA testing in recent years, your grandson may find out on his own that the man he was raised to believe is his father is not. This kind of revelation can be devastating to some individuals. The news would be better coming from your son than from you.

DEAR ABBY: I have two sons in their 50s. My older son is kind, attentive and loving. The younger one, "Scott," is problematic. Both my boys were raised the same, although when they were in their early teens, I divorced their alcoholic father. At that point, I had to work three jobs to keep them fed and sheltered.

Scott constantly returns to the past and accuses me of never having time for him. He no longer speaks to me, which happens often and can last for long periods. His wrath is directed solely at me, and he accuses me of turning the rest of the family against him. He's negative and controlling, and the truth is, no one wants to be around him. In addition to posting hurtful things on social media, he now refers to me as the "ice maiden."

A close family member advised me to look up the definition of narcissism, and I was shocked to see the description of this disorder fits Scott perfectly. What I have read and researched about narcissism says "stay away" and only counseling will help. He refuses, saying it would be "too hurtful." Have I lost a son? Is this something I created? -- MOM OF A MONSTER

DEAR MOM: Please stop blaming yourself. If you have researched narcissism, you should already know that you didn't cause Scott's problem. Whether the estrangement is permanent, only time will tell. In the meantime, protect yourself by no longer trying to engage with him, and block his hurtful social media posts. You can't fix what's wrong with your son, and he won't try to fix himself because he's enjoying being the injured party.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Due to my DNA results, I will have a double mastectomy sometime in the next few months after I finish chemo. I want to celebrate that it was caught early by throwing a "Ta-ta to the Tatas" party complete with crazy wigs, a boob cake and a round of slippery nipple cocktails, a week or so before my surgery.

One of my friends thinks the idea is tacky and she's firmly against it. Abby, she can't even say the word "cancer" aloud; she has to whisper it. Am I wrong? Is it tacky to want to affirm life and flout both fear and death with over-the-top, tacky humor? This kind of humor is how I deal with serious problems. If I can mock the problem, I lessen its power. For me, it's like celebrating Dia de Los Muertos, but in this case, it's my breasts that I'm losing, not my life. What do you think? -- PARTY MOOD IN MONTANA

DEAR PARTY MOOD: I think you are a brave and strong woman, clearly much more so than your friend. You are dealing with a serious challenge in the healthiest way possible -- by facing it head-on. You deserve to be supported by your friends in the months to come, but the woman you have written about is not one of them. She isn't emotionally strong enough to accompany you on this journey. Don't blame her, but DO disinvite her. Bottoms up!