DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old woman. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He was the most amazing person in years past, but lately he has been dismissive, avoids all emotional topics and is absent for days off and on. If I bring it up, he borders on abusive. Suddenly, he's belittling me and making me feel like I'm not the beautiful person he's always proclaimed I was. For my own sanity, I left him. Now he's promising he will have counseling (together and separately) so that he can get better and help me understand why he did a complete 180. Should I believe him? Should I take another chance on us? I love him, but it took so long to heal that I'm stuck in self-preservation mode. What should I do -- walk or talk? -- FRACTURED IN ARIZONA
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DEAR FRACTURED: You say you left him -- that was healthy. Some women stay and tolerate abuse until their self-esteem is completely eroded. Because you still care for him, I vote for giving him the second chance he is asking for, but only after the counseling he has promised is well underway. You deserve not only an apology but answers for the treatment you received from him. Do not reconcile until you have them.