DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a baby right around the time my father remarried. I didn't know my new stepmother very well when she started giving me parenting advice. The issue is, her convictions are not in line with mine and also conflict with the advice from the CDC or the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some examples: She insists breastfeeding is stunting the baby's growth (she's fine), that babies should be put to bed face-down (dangerous) and that holding a baby in a car is just as good as a car seat (?!). I do my best to smile, nod and go about my business, but she's really pushy and keeps saying she was a nurse, so she knows what she's talking about.

After hearing about that nursing experience one too many times, I asked her son about it, and it turns out she earned a nursing assistant degree via correspondence and failed twice before barely passing. She never worked as a nurse.

Being direct with her hasn't helped. Talking to Dad hasn't helped (they're newlyweds). Walking away doesn't help -- she follows me. What choice do I have, short of banning her from my house (or coming to blows, which would be effective, but not the way I want to go)? -- OPPOSED IN OHIO

DEAR OPPOSED: Because Dad refuses to accept that his bride has misrepresented herself, pray he stays in good health and doesn't give her his power of attorney for health care. As to her unwanted and incorrect advice on childcare, listen, smile sweetly and exercise your option as a mother not to follow it. Continue breastfeeding, position your little one in the crib as you have been instructed by reliable sources and never, ever, let her hold the baby while she's in the car. It's against the law and it could be fatal.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Mark," for 13 years. During this time, I have realized that marrying him was a mistake. His parents didn't have a healthy marriage, and I know he doesn't know what love is. His dad often traveled for work and kept a mistress on the side. My mother-in-law stayed in the marriage anyway.

Mark is very self-centered. I snore. When I do, my husband will wake me up either by a loud noise, plugging my nose or shaking me. He says he can't sleep when I snore. I suggested he use earbuds like he does when he listens to music. His ex-wife also said he was difficult to be married to. I am 59 and confident enough to be on my own. Your thoughts? -- READY FOR CHANGE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR READY: Because you have felt nearly from the outset of your 13-year marriage that it was a mistake, I'm thinking it is time you discuss this with an attorney who can explain what a divorce would mean for your financial future. Mark's ex-wife may have been on the right track when she walked out.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his family live six hours from me. I can afford the gas to drive there, but paying for a hotel room for two nights is beyond my means. My son is a stay-at-home dad of seven children. When I asked his wife if I could stay at their place, thinking one child could make a pallet on the floor, giving me their bed, she said she didn't want to put their child out.

At my age, I can't sleep on the floor because I have some health issues. This means I can't see my son and his family. They don't offer to help pay for a room. I remember when someone stayed in my parents' home, they gave up their bedroom to the guest. I don't expect my son and his wife to give up their room, but one of the children should. It makes me feel sad, disrespected and uncared for since, in the past, my son said he wanted me to get closer to his children. Is there any answer? -- DENIED GRANDMA IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GRANDMA: This may not be a case of being uncared for or disrespected. From what you have described, your daughter-in-law makes the decisions in that household rather than your son. The reason may be that she's the one financially supporting the family. If you (and your son) want you to grow closer to your seven grandchildren, perhaps a foldaway cot could be purchased for you to use when you visit. It shouldn't cost more than a few nights in a hotel. (Have you ever ASKED them if it would be possible for them to pay part of the cost of a hotel stay?) If a cot is out of reach, consider sleeping on a sofa or in an easy chair, if one is comfortable enough.

DEAR ABBY: A co-worker and I have developed a mutual friendship with a co-worker who lives in a different town. They're a beautiful human with the hugest heart. They escaped an abusive relationship and are currently a single parent to their special needs child. They're also severely isolated due to the abuse they suffered.

We've all been friends for almost a year and have gone out on the town, but I hadn't seen this particular co-worker's living quarters until recently. The place is horrendous. There's trash and dirty dishes everywhere, food left out and a pungent odor that lingers on your clothes once you've left. I'm not one to judge, as I know there's always another side to the story, but it was easily the worst conditions I've ever seen.

I've chatted with our mutual friend/co-worker. We both want to help as best we can. Given the current disrepair of the house, I feel it'd be easier to pay for a cleaning crew to come than tackle it ourselves. How do we approach that conversation without causing offense? -- CONCERNED CO-WORKER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CONCERNED: You are right to be concerned. It is not healthy for a child to live in the kind of home you have described. Although it is a touchy subject to approach, you and the mutual friend should have a private, face-to-face discussion with your co-worker and volunteer to have a crew come in to help the person handle something that has clearly gotten out of control.

DEAR ABBY: When I was young and even as I grew older, my father touched me inappropriately. It made me uncomfortable even as an adult. I feel like when I was very small, something more may have happened. I may have been drugged to keep me from remembering. I know a few weird things that went on, and my mother knew about it. I always felt uncomfortable around him. Yet I loved my parents very much. I have the weirdest dreams about them doing things to me that I don't like.

I have been in therapy before but not necessarily about this issue. I know I was my father's favorite child because I was always pleasant, more than my sister. Our parents are both dead now and have been for many years. I don't want to think bad thoughts about them, but I wish I knew for sure what happened. Do you have any advice for me? I hate myself for thinking bad about the parents I loved so much. They were good to me and my sister growing up. -- NEEDING CLARITY IN ALABAMA

DEAR NEEDING CLARITY: The first person you should talk to about this is your sister, who was always "less pleasant" to your father than you were. It might be enlightening. However, if it isn't, please talk with a licensed psychotherapist about your persistent bad dreams. It won't be the first time a therapist has heard a story like this, and you deserve to have peace of mind.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law has turned my son away from his sister. It has gotten so bad he no longer wants me to tell him anything about her or her family, and I am to tell my daughter nothing about his family. I am elderly and do not need this on my head. I love my son and I really liked my DIL, but she has changed. My son does nothing without first asking her.

I have only one son and one daughter, and it troubles me that when I pass, they won't have each other. My daughter recently had a kidney removed because of cancer, but my DIL insists she never had cancer. My DIL has MS and is very negative about life. She can still walk, drive and has been very lucky. Please help me. I love them all and I am so upset. What can I do about this? -- SAD MOM IN TEXAS

DEAR MOM: There is nothing you can do about this sorry situation. Your daughter-in-law's denial of your daughter's cancer surgery could easily be overcome if your daughter were to show her brother her medical records. For whatever reason, your daughter-in-law has decided that all of her husband's attention should be directed toward her (and her own illness) rather than toward his sister. All you can do at this point and beyond is see your children separately, as often as you can, and hope they both stay safe, healthy and close by as long as they have you.