DEAR ABBY: I'm a Chinese man born in the United States. My girlfriend, whom I've yet to meet in person, lives in China and is 24 years younger than I am. (I live in California.) We're awaiting approval of paperwork with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service. We have both been divorced twice. She has a grown son (single) in his 30s in Japan. My two children are in their 50s and self-sufficient.
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We both are Christian and educated. Her English proficiency is fair to good. I'm a physician; she's a teacher. We are kind, gentle, patient people. We plan to meet and, hopefully, marry. She would relocate to the U.S., and I might continue to work part time. From what I've told you, how would you rate our chances of marital success? -- HOPING FOR THE BEST
DEAR HOPING: Are you absolutely certain that this woman is who she says she is? Many people have been duped by someone they met on the internet. Have you discussed this with your adult children, who might be more tech-savvy? (I hope so!)
You and this woman have never seen each other in person and have no idea what the chemistry between the two of you would be like. When she arrives, take sufficient time to get to know each other, observe each other in various situations (including stressful ones) and figure out whether your personalities and lifestyles mesh. Because of these unanswered questions, I think your chances of success are about 50-50.