DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a daughter, "Rebecca," I placed for adoption when I was a teenager. Long story short, we have reunited. We not only have a wonderful relationship, but I have a great relationship with Rebecca's adoptive mom, and my husband and children (with my husband) all have an open and caring relationship with her.

Fast-forward to my recent visit with Rebecca. She and I were out, and we ran into a friend of hers. She introduced me by saying, "This is Sally, my birth mother." I had no problem with it and received a warm reception from her friend (who, I think, did have some "backstory" knowledge).

However, my later thoughts led me here: If the situation would be reversed, and I would be introducing her to someone, what do I say? There's NO term for our "status." I think of her as my daughter, but most people who have known me and my husband for 30 years or so don't know I had a child as a teenager.

I love Rebecca, who is 50 now. Why isn't there a term to describe who she is to me (without long explanations)? I feel like this relationship needs a term, too. -- REUNITED IN LOUISIANA

DEAR REUNITED: Try this on for size: When you introduce your daughter to someone who hasn't met her before, say, "I'd like you to meet my oldest daughter, Rebecca."

DEAR ABBY: I am 43, and I have been talking to this guy for seven months. We agree that we aren't dating, and we are best friends with benefits. But it seems as though we spend all our time together and that we are basically dating, but without the title. How do I get this commitment-phobe to realize we should be together without actually telling him? It would scare him off. -- LACKING STATUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LACKING: To you, the relationship you have with this guy seems like dating. To him, it's friends with benefits. Nothing will change unless the two of you can have an honest conversation. If his way of handling it is to head for the hills -- after seven months -- then he really isn't what you're looking for. Sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I have a woman friend I take out to lunch every once in a while. I often pay the check. When she goes back home to her husband, he's upset that she didn't bring something back for him. He tells my friend, "It's what partners do."

Abby, these people are not without food or the means to get it. Neither one is starving, and he doesn't bring back anything for her when he goes out. What are your thoughts on this? -- NOT BUYING FOR TWO

DEAR NOT BUYING: The next time you take this friend to lunch, if she asks to order something for her husband, tell her it's fine with you, but his portion of the check will be on her.

P.S. And if that's "what partners do" for each other, it shouldn't be a one-way street. What a manipulator!

DEAR ABBY: My aunt frequently cuts people out of her life for perceived slights -- small, large and imagined. A few years ago, she got into a fight with my dad (her brother). Somehow, the rest of my family got cut out, too. Guilt by association, I guess.

She has done it to me so many times that I decided this last time would be it. I no longer want the drama of being "let back in" (without explanation or apology), only to be mysteriously cut off again.

Unfortunately, my dad is in ill health. He and his sister have recently made contact, but it is only surface conversation. When he passes, how do I let her know about his death without inviting her back into my life? No one in our family wants her at the funeral. Thanks for your wisdom. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: Tell your aunt about her brother's death and let her decide if she wishes to attend the funeral. If she comes, be cordial. The woman is obviously troubled, but she should be allowed to pay her last respects if she wishes. Permitting her to do this does not need to change anything between the two of you. Remember, funerals exist to comfort the living, and that includes your aunt.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married nearly 30 years, and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with my marriage or my husband. However, since I began working at home, I have noticed that my husband has a variety of irritating personal habits and idiosyncrasies that, because I was away at work all day, I never truly "appreciated" until now.

On one hand, I have always believed that home is the one place where people should be fully embraced despite their imperfections. On the other, he is driving me out of my gourd! Just like with sausage, maybe spouses should not be examined too carefully. Any advice for renewing the mystery in our relationship? -- UP THE WALL IN OREGON

DEAR UP THE WALL: If all that's missing is the mystery, perhaps you and your husband should see less of each other as soon as it is feasible. Being elbow to elbow day after day can diminish the romance if my mail is any indication. In the meantime, if there is something that needs tweaking, tell your husband what bothers you so he can make some changes -- as long as you are willing to do the same for him. It could save your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a widower whose wife died three years ago. He constantly tells me he loves me. I love him, too. The problem is, every day he writes on his calendar that he loves his late wife. He also keeps her gardening shoes by his back door, and a large picture of her faces the chair he sits in. Am I making too much of this? -- RANKED SECOND IN MICHIGAN

DEAR RANKED SECOND: Perhaps. It is said that true love never dies. It's possible to still love a spouse who has passed on while also loving a woman who is living. Only you can decide if his attachment to his late wife is something you can live with.

DEAR ABBY: During my entire 40-year marriage, I have wondered if my husband is bisexual. He met his friend "Ernie" around the same time he met me. My husband has always had female friends as well as Ernie. When he came home late, I'd accuse him of having affairs with his female co-workers.

We have stayed together, although there have been a lot of arguments. Years ago, my brother-in-law went golfing with my husband and Ernie. My brother-in-law told me my problem wasn't another woman -- it was a man. When I asked why he thought that, he said my husband and Ernie were in their own little world. He said he wasn't jealous of their friendship, but it was just his opinion.

To cut to the chase, not long ago, my husband and three other friends went on a golf trip. There was a king-size bed in the master bedroom, a second bedroom with two queen-size beds, and a sofa sleeper. I asked my husband about the sleeping arrangements, and he said one slept on the couch, one in the room with two queen beds, and he and Ernie shared the king-size bed.

When I asked what the other guys thought about the two of them sleeping in the same bed he yelled, "I don't care what they thought!" I said, "And it appears you don't care what your wife thinks either."

My husband has always said, "There isn't another woman. You know I love you." He has always denied being bi. He makes me feel like I'm crazy. Please tell me what you think. -- FINALLY FED UP IN DELAWARE

DEAR FED UP: For two men to share a bed when there is another option is, in my opinion, questionable. Never having met your husband, I hesitate to state whether he is or isn't cheating on you with Ernie. Being bisexual does not make a person an adulterer. If he were to confirm your suspicion that he is bisexual, would it change your longtime marriage? THAT, my friend, is the $64,000 question.

DEAR ABBY: I'm sure I am not alone on this subject. Occasionally, when I'm in a restaurant, the mall, the grocery store, etc., I'll run into a former co-worker, former classmate, someone I met at a past gathering, etc., and in the moment, I cannot recall their name. This is especially embarrassing when my spouse or a friend is with me and I can't introduce the person.

Sometimes, when someone is with me and I see an acquaintance before they see me, I'll make a detour to avoid the embarrassment of blanking on their names. If I'm alone, I have no problem conversing with the individual even if I can't recall a name. My problem is those embarrassing introductions. Any suggestions? -- FORGETFUL IN HAWAII

DEAR FORGETFUL: I agree, it is embarrassing, and it happens to everyone. It happened to me occasionally when I was in my 20s and needed to introduce my date to someone. There IS a way to get around it, provided you are fast enough. If a "senior moment" isn't something you are willing to admit, then greet your old co-worker, friend, etc., and say something like, "Hi! How nice to see you!" Then turn to your spouse (or friend) and say, "We used to work together," and let them introduce themselves.