DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of an 18-year-old daughter, "Leia." We have always tried to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and we have what I think is a strong, positive familial bond.

My best friend recently informed me that Leia has an Instagram account that's publicly accessible. I can't find her account when I search, which means she has me blocked. The account was created three years ago when she was a minor. I'm not happy with this. When asked back then, Leia told us repeatedly she didn't have an Instagram account -- but I always suspected she did, as most young people her age are engaged in social media.

I would like Leia to unblock me so I can see her beautiful pictures. I'm not a harsh critic or negative person, though Leia often interprets my comments that way. I think she has blocked me because she considers any observations or comments I might make to be parental surveillance. I've told her, repeatedly, that I'm not trying to keep tabs on her.

We have always given our kids what we think is a high level of personal freedom. I just want to see the beautiful images she posts. How do I gently bring this up to her, and ask her to allow me to see her account? -- BLOCKED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BLOCKED: I don't advise you to ask your now-adult daughter to unblock you from her social media. You stated that Leia often interprets your comments and observations as critical and invasive, which may be the reason she blocked you in the first place. Because you long to see her "beautiful pictures," ask your good friend to show them to you on her computer or her cellphone. That way your curiosity will be assuaged, and Leia won't feel invaded.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship with "Marvin" for 30 years, many of them as a married couple. He has many vices -- drinking and being abusive were the main issues. Our divorce was final two months ago. Marvin's behavior was so poor that if I had told anyone, they would have lost respect for him, and he would have most certainly lost his job. So, I kept his secrets at my own expense. If I had shared what was actually going on, Marvin would have faced the consequences. It was isolating and lonely.

I have been hiding this shame for so long that, now that we are divorced, I'm not sure what to tell people. I want to tell the truth about what I experienced, but I don't want it to seem like I am just badmouthing my ex. How can I open up without seeming bitter? -- HELD BACK IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HELD BACK: It's time to speak frankly to someone. The office of a licensed therapist would be a good place to start. Your doctor or your health insurance company can refer you to someone qualified. If you want to ensure that you won't be regarded as a "bitter divorcee," confide in your closest friends. When you do, explain that you know you should have spoken up sooner, but you were afraid that if you did, Marvin would lose his job, which would have had a negative impact on both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for quite a long time, and I am seriously contemplating walking away from it. We no longer have anything in common. I'm active and hike, bike, play golf and lift weights. My wife is 100% sedentary and wants no part of any of these activities that could keep us both healthy. It has taken a toll on her to the point that she has become obese and has mobility issues. Even a small amount of exertion exhausts her, which leaves me doing almost everything. I did not sign up to be someone's caretaker because she didn't take care of herself.

For a long time, I have become friendly with a woman who is active and healthy like me. We have much more in common than just being active. She tells me she loves my intelligence and what a great career I had. I never received any support from my wife. I am tired of being a slave. I want a partner. Your thoughts? -- FIT IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIT: I think your marriage started failing before you met this active, health-conscious woman. As it stands, you are emotionally divorced before being legally divorced. Talk to an attorney, then tell your wife that you haven't felt emotionally supported by her for a long time and you want a divorce so you can be with someone whose interests and lifestyle more closely align with yours. From what you have written, I doubt your marriage could be saved by counseling because, emotionally, you have already moved on.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single female in my 60s. I'm very much a loner and mostly keep to myself. While I know my lifestyle may be unconventional, it is the one I choose.

My concern is the possibility of dying alone in my house. I have serious health issues and don't expect to live a long life. I sometimes go weeks without contact with another human being, and if I should meet my demise, there's a very real possibility that it could go completely unnoticed for quite some time. I am not asking that you offer advice to fix my solitary life because, frankly, I accept it. What I would like to know is if there is a way -- a service or device or something -- that would alert someone in the likely event that I am alone when I meet my end. -- FLYING SOLO IN TEXAS

DEAR SOLO: Great question. If you have a newspaper delivered, your carrier would notice if they were starting to pile up on your doorstep. The same would apply if your mail carrier noticed your mail starting to accumulate. There are also apps and services that will check in daily with you to be sure you are OK.

One I have heard about is the Telephone Reassurance program. It is often a free service provided by a county's department of aging and disabilities. Volunteers place daily phone calls to older or disabled adults to help them remain independent in their homes for as long as possible. If this isn't available in your area, check with your local senior center, AARP or department of senior services for recommendations.

DEAR ABBY: Many months ago, a family member's husband was charged with possession of and distributing more than 10,000 items of child pornography. The police and Department of Homeland Security raided their home and seized computers, cellphones and other devices. He was arrested and spent about a week in jail. He hired a very good attorney, and all the charges were dismissed.

His wife, our blood relative, stayed by his side. She remains married to him and doesn't plan to leave him. She has been keeping us up to date on the legal developments and says his attorneys believe he won't serve any jail time because "he's in his mid-70s and has no prior convictions of any crimes."

Although the charges were dismissed, we are not comfortable having him in our homes because there are small children at our gatherings. It's important to note that his wife never denied that he was viewing and distributing these materials. She only said, "They're making him out to be a monster." How can we remain supportive of her while at the same time let her know when the time comes, that he's NOT welcome? This chain of events has been devastating to our entire family. -- DEVASTATED IN THE EAST

DEAR DEVASTATED: Your concern is understandable, but I have to question whether you have all of your facts straight. On the one hand, you state that all the charges against this man were dismissed. On the other hand, you say his attorney thinks he won't serve time because of his age, which makes me wonder if some sort of plea deal happened, and he will be required only to perform community service.

You may want to be emotionally supportive of this family member, but if the parents of minor children feel her husband could present a danger to them, those children must be protected. And, if that means not exposing them to the couple, then so be it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for 16 years. He has two children, ages 17 and 19. Every year, he spends the major holidays with his ex and his kids. I can't go with him because his ex has ruined any chance of my having a relationship with his children. Frankly, they hate me and blame me for their parents' divorce.

I have five children. I make time for them at holidays, but I prioritize my husband. I don't think he should be doing this. Am I wrong? He's done it for 16 years. I mention it every year, and he always says next year will be different. Please tell me your thoughts. -- MISSING HIM THEN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MISSING: This year won't be different, and neither will the ones after. My question to you is, were you responsible for breaking up his marriage? According to the mail I have received over the years, many marriages were over long before either spouse filed for divorce. If the "kids" are right, they aren't going to change their attitude at this late date. If, however, you were blameless, their father should have straightened them out when they were old enough to understand.