DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We are finishing our first year in our new house. We moved in a few weeks before we got married the week after Thanksgiving last year. So this will be our first married Thanksgiving and the first one our home is ready to host.

We asked both sets of parents to spend Thanksgiving with us. My in-laws said they will come for a couple days, but my parents said they wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my sister’s family. They have two kids, and it seems they get priority over us whenever both my sister and I ask my parents to come to our houses for a special occasion or for a visit. It happens every time.

I don’t want to come off as jealous because I love my sister and her family. I spoil my nephew and niece every chance I get. They were also invited to come to our house for Thanksgiving, but my sister says my brother-in-law is working the whole long weekend except for on the holiday itself, so they can’t make it.

We were going to make this not only a super special Thanksgiving, but also celebrate our first anniversary. Now it will be Thanksgiving Day with just my in-laws, and my husband and me for our anniversary.

I’m disappointed and hope we make everything work here at our house next year.

Do you think it’s too early to put in dibs on having the families all here next year, especially since I just found out we’re pregnant and next Thanksgiving would be our baby’s first one? --- WANT TO CELEBRATE HERE

DEAR WANT TO CELEBRATE HERE: I see nothing wrong with your putting in an early claim to host Thanksgiving at your place next year. That gives everyone fair warning, which hopefully will work to your advantage.

However, remember asking isn’t always getting. Circumstances can result in a change of plans anywhere between now and next November, so it may be a game of playing it by ear until then.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I came home for my Dad’s birthday I had to use the guest room because my Dad moved into my old room. He and my Mom said it was because his new CPAP machine was noisier than the old one. It was keeping my Mom awake, they said. When I heard it running it didn’t sound any different than the old one to me.

I want to believe that the new CPAP is the only reason my parents have gone to separate bedrooms. My girlfriend said it would be rude to ask them about it, but since it is my parents, don’t I have a right to know if there is something else going on between them? --- MAY BE MORE THAN NOISE

DEAR MAY BE MORE THAN NOISE: I agree with your girlfriend’s advice to you to refrain from asking your parents about their relationship.

Unless you have any reason to believe something has changed for your parents beyond your father’s CPAP machine, I don’t see why you shouldn’t accept their explanation for sleeping in separate rooms.

And even if you did observe something different in how your parents act towards each other, it’s their prerogative whether or not to share details of their relationship with anyone outside of it ‒ including concerned offspring.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife’s cousin went missing seven years ago and it really busted her up and made the first few Thanksgivings and Christmases without him around hard.

Now his family is filing to have him declared legally dead for their own sense of closure. She and he were close since they were babies and for a while they lived together while his parents were in drug rehab or locked up, which was more than once.

I used to be a little jealous of how close they were, but now I realize they kept each other going during bad times. He was a good guy and nearly made it out from under his own addiction, but the family figures he didn’t. The last they heard of him was from his girlfriend, who told them he left her in 2017 in San Diego and was heading to Mexico.

My wife was doing pretty good again, but now she keeps thinking about him and not only missing him but also obsessing over how she could have done something to help him and kept him from making his stupid Mexico trip. I know for a fact that isn’t true and that in fact she did everything she could for him.

How do I help my wife get over this grief? We have a five-year-old daughter who is jazzed about the holidays and she keeps seeing her mommy crying and spending time alone. --- SHE’S STILL GRIEVING

DEAR SHE’S STILL GRIEVING: It’s perfectly understandable that your wife is feeling the way she does. It may feel like she’s losing her cousin all over again.

What will possibly help your wife the most is to try and redirect her towards the needs of your daughter.

Find some fun activities you can do as a family to help bring her out of herself for her sake and that of your family.

Hopefully, in time, she’ll be able to put some distance between her pain and the holiday season, but having to face the permanent loss of her beloved cousin is bound to make that difficult this year.