DEAR ABBY: My sister, whom I dearly love, is going through some difficult times. She confides in me about her troubles, and I gladly listen and give advice. Although I am willing to listen and help, I feel she would really benefit from seeing a therapist to help her overcome some of her challenges. I also know that her decisions are hers to make, and I don't want my perspectives to get between us when I say something she may disagree with.

How can I recommend she get professional help without it sounding like I'm pushing her away and discouraging her from sharing her feelings with me? When I mentioned therapy a few years ago, she said I should be her therapist. I told her that was sweet, but therapists have unique skills that I don't have.

My sister is on a very limited income, and I'm not certain what it would cost through her insurance. She does feel therapy is "good," but has never actually done it. She often says she can handle these issues on her own, and I suspect she'd be resistant to counseling because it would be like surrendering. Advice? -- HELPFUL SISTER IN COLORADO

DEAR SISTER: Tell your sister you love her, but you would like her to discuss her issues with a licensed psychotherapist because, in the years she has been confiding in you, she hasn't made progress. It's the truth. Point her in the direction of her health insurance company, because it can provide her with a list of approved therapists. If that isn't affordable, low-cost counseling may be available through the local department of mental health services or from a college or university that has a department of psychology.

DEAR ABBY: My youngest daughter will be getting married in three months. I am 69 and have been a widower for six years. I have been dating a widow, "Rose," who was a high school friend I bumped into at church while she was in town caring for her mother after our spouses passed away. She is well-accepted by my family and friends.

Rose is concerned about her role in the wedding. I have discussed this with her and indicated that her role is to be a guest of the wedding couple as well as my date for the evening. I believe this is appropriate and the right way to address this situation. I would appreciate any additional comments or suggestions you may have. -- FATHER OF THE BRIDE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FATHER: I gather from your question that you may be receiving some pressure from your lady friend to participate in the wedding. She may be well-accepted by the family, but if your youngest daughter and her fiance wanted Rose to be more than a welcome guest, they would have invited her to be part of the bridal party. Tell Rose that she is your date, and her role is to attend, have a good time with you and support the happy couple.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Ellis," a wonderful man, for a year and a half. This is a second marriage for each of us. My older children are on their own. Ellis has three boys (ages 15, 21 and 23) who live with us. The oldest is autistic. My husband and his ex-wife, "Mia," share joint custody, but our home is the primary home.

Mia is supposed to have the kids two days a week and every other weekend. We have the children come to our house after school because she works and the law is, if there is child care, both parents must pay equally. Mia takes full advantage of our kindness and usually doesn't pick the kids up until 9 p.m. on her nights. Sometimes, she doesn't show up at all, which leaves us all hanging.

Ellis refuses to talk to Mia about this because it ends up in an argument and he says he can't make her do anything. He also won't go back to court to make her responsible because of the cost and the fact that he doesn't want the boys to see him take their mother to court.

This situation is taxing, and Ellis gets upset with me when I tell him he needs to confront Mia or arrange to drop the kids off at her work on her days. I am exhausted, and this is putting a huge strain on our marriage. I'm not sure it will survive if this keeps up. Please tell me what to do. -- STRESSED STEPMOM

DEAR STEPMOM: Does your husband know how strongly you feel about this? You two are overdue for a frank conversation. As much as your husband doesn't want to spend the money, the answer to this problem may lie in a lawyer's office. The fact that Mia doesn't adhere to the custody agreement may change the amount of money he may be required to pay her, or vice versa.

Two of their "children" are adults now. Has there been any discussion about when and if they will live independently? The youngest is only a year away from being able to legally drive himself to his mother's if she can't pick him up. All of the responsibility for them should not be falling on you.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a situation in which close family members and close friends misspell my daughter's name? She is now 22. We recently celebrated her college graduation, and I was appalled to see her name botched on cards. This has been done to her over the years.

Abby, her name sounds similar to a more common name, and I have deliberately written her name out on invitations and texts, etc. It upsets me, and she already struggles teaching others how to pronounce her name, let alone write it properly. I feel a lack of care or respect that they don't take the time to be sure. Am I right? -- MISSPELLED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MISSPELLED: How do these friends and relatives treat your daughter? If they treat her well, forgive the mutilation of the name you gave her. She's an adult now, so let her fight her own battles from now on rather than alienate her from folks who care about her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of an 18-year-old daughter, "Leia." We have always tried to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and we have what I think is a strong, positive familial bond.

My best friend recently informed me that Leia has an Instagram account that's publicly accessible. I can't find her account when I search, which means she has me blocked. The account was created three years ago when she was a minor. I'm not happy with this. When asked back then, Leia told us repeatedly she didn't have an Instagram account -- but I always suspected she did, as most young people her age are engaged in social media.

I would like Leia to unblock me so I can see her beautiful pictures. I'm not a harsh critic or negative person, though Leia often interprets my comments that way. I think she has blocked me because she considers any observations or comments I might make to be parental surveillance. I've told her, repeatedly, that I'm not trying to keep tabs on her.

We have always given our kids what we think is a high level of personal freedom. I just want to see the beautiful images she posts. How do I gently bring this up to her, and ask her to allow me to see her account? -- BLOCKED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BLOCKED: I don't advise you to ask your now-adult daughter to unblock you from her social media. You stated that Leia often interprets your comments and observations as critical and invasive, which may be the reason she blocked you in the first place. Because you long to see her "beautiful pictures," ask your good friend to show them to you on her computer or her cellphone. That way your curiosity will be assuaged, and Leia won't feel invaded.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship with "Marvin" for 30 years, many of them as a married couple. He has many vices -- drinking and being abusive were the main issues. Our divorce was final two months ago. Marvin's behavior was so poor that if I had told anyone, they would have lost respect for him, and he would have most certainly lost his job. So, I kept his secrets at my own expense. If I had shared what was actually going on, Marvin would have faced the consequences. It was isolating and lonely.

I have been hiding this shame for so long that, now that we are divorced, I'm not sure what to tell people. I want to tell the truth about what I experienced, but I don't want it to seem like I am just badmouthing my ex. How can I open up without seeming bitter? -- HELD BACK IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HELD BACK: It's time to speak frankly to someone. The office of a licensed therapist would be a good place to start. Your doctor or your health insurance company can refer you to someone qualified. If you want to ensure that you won't be regarded as a "bitter divorcee," confide in your closest friends. When you do, explain that you know you should have spoken up sooner, but you were afraid that if you did, Marvin would lose his job, which would have had a negative impact on both of you.