DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 10 years and in a relationship for 20. I just found out that for more than a year he has been lying about working. He pretended he had a part-time contracting job and has been using our savings to pass as income from this fictional job.

Over the past year, we made a lot of financial decisions based on the assumption that he was employed, which has left us in a tight situation. He initially denied it when I confronted him and even provided fake documents about his "job" before finally coming clean. I'm feeling many emotions because of this betrayal, and I am unsure about how to proceed. Can you guide me? -- DUPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DUPED: Your husband may have been embarrassed about his job loss, which is why he deceived you. What was he doing when he was supposedly working? His (and your) problems may go beyond the financial bind you are now in. Is your husband trying to find another job? Why was he let go?

Contact a CPA or financial adviser and ask what you need to do to get back on firm financial footing. You didn't mention whether you are employed, but if you aren't, it's time to find a job. Once that's done, marriage counseling is crucial.

DEAR ABBY: My last parent passed away 24 years ago, and my brothers and sisters went their separate ways. We were not close in our younger years. I'm the youngest, so it was pretty hard on me to suddenly have no birth family, so to speak.

A couple of years ago, my estranged brother and I reconnected. We have a lot in common, and my husband and children really like him. The problem is, when he has been drinking, he calls me terrible names. It hurts me because I don't know why. It can be a great day, and then suddenly something sets him off.

I want to say something to him, but I would hate to make him mad and cause our sibling relationship to go sideways again. I feel everything I am thinking of saying will hurt our friendship. I need some sound advice, and I promise to take it. -- CONFLICTED SIS

DEAR SIS: I hope you realize that what you have described is one of the classic symptoms of alcoholism. The next time you and your brother get together and there is alcohol involved, press the record button on your cellphone so you can play it for him when he sobers up. Then tell him that in the future, you prefer he not drink anything stronger than punch when you are together.

DEAR ABBY: I've always connected with my significant other's parent. But now I am emotionally more connected to them than to my significant other. Is this healthy, or am I cheating on my S.O.? -- CONFUSED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CONFUSED: When you wrote "emotionally connected," did you mean you have more in common with your S.O.'s parent than with your S.O., or that you are physically attracted? If it's the latter, end the romance. If you don't, it will cause chaos in your S.O.'s family and likely not end well for any of you.

DEAR ABBY: I just turned 29. My partner, "Jeremy," and I have been together for six years and have talked about getting engaged. He set the timeline for an expectation of when he'd propose early on in our relationship -- by "five or 30" (meaning either we've been together for five years or he hits 30). Both of those marks hit last year, and I expected him to propose, but it didn't happen. I am mortified because I keep getting asked by people, "Why not?" I don't have an answer, except that Jeremy is just not ready.

He told me he wants to pay off some debts before buying a ring, but we are both saving and living well below our means, and I don't want anything expensive. Jeremy is focused on his physical training and his hobbies. I'm ready to buy a home, get married, maybe even start a family, but I feel like we're stuck in the post-college lifestyle.

I have told Jeremy all of the above several times now, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Otherwise, he tells me the commitment is already there and that he will get to a place where he feels he's ready. He also told me the only reason he'd ever propose is because I want it -- because it has no meaning or joy for him!

I'm confused and worried that something is wrong with me for feeling this way. All my friends are married. They have bought homes and are starting families. I'm tired of waiting for this train to come in, and I'm resentful that he hasn't kept to his timeline. Now I'm not sure I should say yes, even if he does ask. Do I run for the hills or trust him to keep his word? He's always been honest with me. -- WAITING AND WAITING

DEAR WAITING: When a man tells you that marriage has no meaning or joy for him and that he will propose when he feels ready but still isn't ready after five years, you have some important decisions to make about your future. Trying to wrestle a marriage proposal out of him because your friends have all married and started families does not guarantee that your union would be a happy one.

Tell Jeremy that you appear to be operating in different time zones, that marriage is very important to you, and he hasn't kept his word about the five years. Then move on, so you won't be writing in another five years about this same problem.

DEAR ABBY: Please, please help me save a very old friendship. I have a friend who will not let me finish a story, a comment or a response. When I tried to be polite and said, "Please, let me finish," she got miffed. We went out to lunch with another friend recently, and she did it again! How do I politely ask her to wait her turn? -- WORD IN EDGEWISE

DEAR WORD: Stating it in plain English wouldn't hurt. Do it right after you ask this woman why she feels it is necessary to interrupt you. (If the answer is that you held the floor too long, you will need to edit either your friend list -- or your storytelling.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married a long time. Our relationship is stable but rocky. I have suffered from depression since childhood, and I am now trying to manage it. My husband has his own issues. One of them is that he often brings up something he finds "amusing" about my parents. For example, he mocks my dad and the home I grew up in because it wasn't fancy. This is hurtful.

I don't appreciate my husband bringing up Dad's quirks to belittle him. When I say I don't appreciate it, he starts yelling and telling me that he's not trying to hurt me and that I shouldn't take it that way. Then he goes off and sulks and won't speak to me for the rest of the day.

His behavior is getting old. It ruins things between us. If you tell someone that what they say is hurtful, but they discount it, what then? Things he may think are funny are not always funny to me. Any advice? -- NO JOKE IN OHIO

DEAR NO JOKE: Your husband certainly has a cruel streak. He says things he knows will hurt you, blames you for feeling hurt and then uses it as an excuse to punish you. The term for this is passive-aggressive behavior.

If you plan to stay married to this miserable person, you will have to learn to ignore his comments. When you do that, he will likely increase the frequency of his "funny" remarks. When that happens, continue to ignore him, invite a friend or two to have lunch away from the house or run an errand. If it reaches the point that it's intolerable, consult a licensed marriage and family therapist or talk to an attorney about how to set yourself free.

DEAR ABBY: My wife was recently diagnosed with a partial arterial blockage. It isn't blocked enough to warrant an angioplasty or a stent, so her doctors will manage it with medication and diet.

Because my wife now has a special diet she must follow, she has told me I can no longer eat anything in front of her that she can't eat. I must eat only the food she eats. My health is good, and I have no dietary restrictions. Is this demand she is making of me fair? How do I deal with it? -- PUNISHED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PUNISHED: I suspect the diet you obliquely mentioned may be a "heart healthy" one. If that's the case, during the last 20 years (or so) the American Heart Association has published many cookbooks offering a variety of delicious recipes. (I know this to be true because I have dipped my beak into some of them.)

A heart healthy diet needn't be onerous, and it could benefit you, too. If you crave something your wife can't eat, have it elsewhere so she won't be tempted. It's not a huge sacrifice to make, and her life could depend on it. Dig deep, give it a try and remind yourself that this is what a supportive spouse does for the person they love.