DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I began seeing a man I like very much but don't want to be intimate with. We are in our "young" 70s, and both of us were widowed two years ago after 50-year marriages. We agreed early on that neither of us will remarry.

We are affectionate, and he'll occasionally kiss my cheek, nape of my neck or forehead. We hug. That's as much as I want. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm worried he may want more intimacy, which I am not willing to give. What advice do you have for me? -- LIMITED IN INDIANA

DEAR LIMITED: Because you are sure you don't want an intimate relationship with this man and are being given signals that he may want more from you, talk frankly with him about it. You are both mature people, and it's the only fair way to handle a situation like this. You may find, to your relief, that you are misreading his intentions. If you aren't, he needs to know he's barking up the wrong tree.

DEAR ABBY: My father dated someone for several years. She broke up with him around five years ago. She's a pleasant person, so we stay in touch via Christmas cards. Recently, she texted me that she was sending me a box of mementos, including pictures from their relationship. I was away on business, so I didn't have a chance to respond.

The shoebox arrived this morning, and I just received a text from her asking if I had received it. Honestly, I feel this was inappropriate because the relationship was between my father and her. I believe she should have sent the items to him instead. How should I respond? -- ONLY THE SON IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ONLY THE SON: Respond by telling the woman the box arrived. She may have sent it to you because she wanted no more direct contact with your father. Call your dad, tell him his ex-girlfriend sent the mementos to you, ask if he wants them or would prefer you dispose of them and then follow his guidance.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily single for most of my life, and I treasure the friendship and company of my other women friends. My question concerns a situation that happens frequently when one of them starts dating or marries. They seem to feel I should enjoy the company of BOTH of them together from then on. My response has been to refuse any invitations, but it feels rude and impolite. I would appreciate your advice, and thank you! -- SINGLE LADY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SINGLE LADY: Running away isn't the answer. Instead of cutting off these women without explanation when they become involved in a romantic relationship, it would make more sense to point out to them that women (and men) communicate differently when members of the opposite sex are present. It's the truth. Couples don't have to be joined at the hip 100% of the time, and, in fact, it's healthier for their relationship when they sometimes socialize as individuals.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 60 years lost her husband 13 years ago. She has one son, who is successful and busy with his young family. They try to include her in various family gatherings, but she always has an excuse as to why she can't attend -- she doesn't drive at night, doesn't like their friends, etc.

The truth is, she starts drinking at 2 p.m., and by 4 p.m. she starts sending me rude, hurtful text messages. I have tried ignoring them, not responding, turning off my phone, etc. I know she's lonely, but she blames everything on everyone else and takes no responsibility for her own actions.

I love her but I can't take it anymore. I have talked to her about this, and she just laughs. Then that same afternoon, after a few glasses of wine, she throws it back in my face. Please advise. -- OVER IT IN ARIZONA

DEAR OVER IT: By now you should have realized that as much as you would like to, you can't fix what's wrong with your "best friend." Only she can do that by finally admitting she has become an alcoholic and resolving to do something about it. The longer you tolerate her abuse, the longer she'll keep abusing you and herself.

Tell her once and for all that you will no longer allow her to hurt you, and until she demonstrates that she's dealing with her alcohol problem, you want nothing more to do with her. Then step back and block her calls and any other communication. Friends don't treat their best friends the way you are being treated, and you do not have to tolerate it.

DEAR ABBY: I love cats and dogs. We have one of each. Both are indoor pets. My problem is my wife and daughter have filled our home with cat and dog paraphernalia of all shapes and sizes. There are seven dog and cat beds in the master bedroom, five in the spare bedroom, four in our daughter's bedroom, three in the living room and one in the kitchen (because our cat supposedly likes to watch my wife cook).

There are also cat trees scattered about, a four-story cat cage, and cat and dog toys strewn across the floors. There are packets of cat and dog treats everywhere. I just love stepping on them while barefoot at night. Am I unreasonable to suggest that our cat and dog need not be treated like royalty? I suspect they'd be just fine with one bed each -- you know, like us humans. -- OVERRULED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OVERRULED: It appears your wife and daughter have gone overboard trying to ensure that the furry family members are comfortable. A compromise is definitely in order, particularly regarding areas that YOU spend the most time in -- like your bedroom, living room and kitchen. It would also be considerate if someone made sure the floors are cleared of toys and treats before bedtime so you won't be injured on your way to the bathroom.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I recently bought our first house together. It has an outdoor kitchen and other features he really likes. I like it too, but there have been some issues already in the first month or two. Lately, he's been wanting to have BBQs and get-togethers for his family. He invites all these people over who I don't know. I'm not comfortable having people over all the time. He does it to show off the house.

I'm exhausted from all these parties. Although I have expressed to him that I'm not comfortable, he still does it without asking me. I have expressed my feelings and concerns, but he doesn't seem to care. I am a private person and want to enjoy my home. We did have a housewarming party, but he always wants to have more.

I don't know what to do anymore. He gets upset, and I'm always stuck cooking and cleaning. To him, I'm a party pooper and a grump. I just want my voice heard and for him not to be so selfish and a show-off. I also want him to consider my family, too. How do I cope? -- PARTY POOPER IN THE WEST

DEAR PARTY POOPER: A step in the right direction would be to quit playing cook and unpaid maid. Your inconsiderate boyfriend knows you don't like doing it, so draw the line. Tell him you don't like being ignored and will no longer tolerate the situation he has created. If he refuses to compromise, talk with an attorney about a plan for him to buy your half of the house. No law says this has to be your future.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently been contacted by Child Protective Services in another state regarding a great-nephew I knew nothing about. Of course, they were hoping for placement or financial support for the boy, who is 10. I am 62. I am not in a position to care for him, physically or financially.

The boy is my brother's grandson. When my brother and his wife divorced, she took the children and disappeared. I have had no contact or information regarding my niece and nephew for 35 years. Now there is this child in need. Would it be a good idea to ask if I could write to this child? I would be able to send birthday, Christmas presents and letters, but giving him full-time care isn't possible. -- CONFUSED GREAT-AUNT

DEAR GREAT-AUNT: There is so much detail left out of your letter. Where are this boy's father and mother? Are they incarcerated or dead? Where is your brother, the child's grandfather? Whether to initiate contact with this newly discovered relative and send him cards and gifts might depend upon the kind of living situation he winds up in.

Also, are you absolutely certain the person who contacted you is really from Child Protective Services, because it might be a scam. Do nothing until you have spoken to other family members and ascertain the veracity of the information you received.