DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with my best friend. When I told her 10 years ago, she distanced herself. We were still friends, but she went on making bad choices in her relationships, and I never found anyone who could compare to her. We reconnected recently and have once again become very close. I still love her, and I always will.

She doesn't share the same feelings I have, and while I want to ask her why, I haven't asked because I don't want to lose her again. Am I wrong for settling for our amazing friendship? How can I convince her that we could be much more than just each other's best friend without losing her? -- LOVESICK GUY IN THE EAST

DEAR LOVESICK GUY: When a woman distances herself after a man tells her he wants romantic involvement, it usually means she is not physically attracted to him. It doesn't mean she doesn't "like" him or that they don't have much in common. However, it does mean that if you want more out of a relationship, you will have to look elsewhere to find it.

DEAR ABBY: My little sister is getting married, and our family is thrilled for her. She's having a small wedding and has chosen not to have a bridal party. At first, I was sad because she was the maid of honor in my wedding, but I respect her and her fiance's decision.

My quandary is that I joked that I'm off the hook from writing a speech, since I'm not the MOH. But -- she still wants me to write a speech and give a toast. I don't want to! It seems like she wants to have her wedding cake and eat it, too. Your thoughts? -- SPEECHLESS SIS IN GEORGIA

DEAR SIS: What is your problem? Why would you want to do anything that would lessen your little sister's happiness on her special day? It appears you weren't joking after all when you said you were "off the hook." My thought is you should be honest with yourself about your motivations, then dismount from your high horse, write the darn speech and make it heartfelt.

DEAR ABBY: How can I get my neighbor to stop buying us pies? Her husband died a year ago. He had Alzheimer's for many years before his passing. We are more than happy to help her with things around her house because we believe helping others is the right thing to do. We don't eat many sweets and don't want the excess calories. Health is a high priority. I have asked her to stop with the sweets, but she keeps buying us this stuff as a thank-you. A verbal thanks would be enough. -- PIE-FREE ZONE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PIE-FREE: The next time your well-meaning neighbor brings a pie to your home, remind her that you and your family avoid sweets for health reasons and a verbal thank-you is more than enough. If she persists after that, tell her that instead of the pie you would appreciate a fruit salad or a nice zucchini. (It's worth a try.)

DEAR ABBY: I lost my wife 14 years ago. We were married for 26 years. Our two children are now adults. I have since remarried and moved to another state. My children love and respect their stepmother. I have five step-grandchildren who live within 15 minutes of my current home. I love them, and they love me as well. My first wife's gravesite is in the small town where we used to live, about 90 miles away.

My question concerns my final resting place. Do I request burial with the mother of my children, or at a place of my current wife's choosing near my current home, ultimately to be buried next to her? How about cremation, where my ashes could be split between two gravesites? I don't care, but I want to make a choice that will make everyone comfortable. What have others done in this situation, as I suspect this issue is not uncommon? -- PLANNING AHEAD IN DELAWARE

DEAR PLANNING: Your question is a tough one because I'm sure you want to make everyone happy and avoid any conflict after your death. Your idea about cremation so your ashes can be divided between the two gravesites seems sensible to me. However, because I am not an expert when it comes to funeral arrangements, I took your question to the Funeral Consumers Alliance (funerals.org), which had one more question for you. It was: "Have you spoken with your wife, your children and extended relatives about it?"

Once you have had these important family discussions and a decision is made, make sure your wishes are documented in a disposition form from your current state of residence. Doing so could prevent family drama at the time of your death. Kudos to you for planning ahead.

DEAR ABBY: For a long time now, I've been living in the past, thinking about how great it was and how much fun it was. I'm also obsessed with an old boyfriend who cheated and broke up with me to sleep with the "other woman." Abby, this was 48 years ago! I've been married for 35 years, but I haven't been happy since I don't know when. My husband is a wonderful guy, but I no longer feel anything for him. There's no way I can divorce him. He has multiple medical issues, and I could never do that to him. What can I do? -- YESTERDAY'S GIRL IN FLORIDA

DEAR YESTERDAY'S GIRL: It might help to take off those rose-colored glasses and come back to the present. The man you are obsessed with betrayed you and dumped you. It's time to take another look at why you married your husband. While your passion for him may have lessened and his health isn't the greatest, these things sometimes happen as people age.

You're in need of an attitude adjustment, which may involve talking with a licensed psychotherapist. If you do, it may help you rid yourself of your unhealthy preoccupation.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently separated, and my divorce will be final soon. I have met a woman I didn't even know could exist. She's perfect for me. The problem is, she lives an hour and a half away and can't drive at night due to a medical condition.

I have fallen for her, and it's mutual. The issues are the distance and the fact that her father just passed away. She's a widow living with her toxic mother. We both want this to work, but she needs time and space. I'm willing to give it to her because I believe she is totally worth it.

This is the second serious relationship in my life. My ex and I were together for decades, but among other bad things, she cheated on me. I'm wondering if you have some advice for me. This new woman is my true "unicorn." I'd do anything for her. I want to be with her, and she says the same, but even though her mother is toxic, she doesn't seem to want to leave her and the bad situation she's in.

It's early, I know, but I'm willing to wait. We have so much in common. She hasn't asked for anything except time and space, but I'm almost 40. (She's a little older.) I'm so clueless with relationships. I'm scared and excited. We want to be a family with a home. Please help me out here. -- CONFUSED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR CONFUSED: You need to summon enough patience for all of this to play out. You are still married, and, frankly, you need time to regain your balance after a bad marriage that lasted decades. While I'm sure your "unicorn" is a very special woman, she needs time to grieve her father's death and to decide whether she wants to live apart from her mother who -- face it -- may always be part of the package deal.

Happiness and excitement are intoxicating. Do not act impetuously. Take this very slowly. Those long, inconvenient drives may help you to gain perspective. With time, if this is as right as you are hoping it will be, you'll have the happy ending you're hoping for.

DEAR ABBY: My friend invites me for dinner often, and I keep coming up with vague excuses about why I cannot come. The reason for my reluctance is her poor kitchen hygiene. The fridge always has old food and spillage, and her kitchen counters and sink are littered with dirty dishes and leftovers. She doesn't wash her hands before cooking, either.

I have helped her clean her kitchen many times while visiting, thinking she perhaps just needed guidance, but her old habits stick. It feels awkward and inappropriate to tell her the reason for my continuous cancellations. How would you proceed? -- FRIEND IN STICKY SITUATION

DEAR FRIEND: You aren't going to change her. The way to handle this would be to invite her over to your place for dinner, agree to have your meals at a restaurant or bring carryout to her place.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: At sundown, it is time for the breaking of the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr, everyone. -- LOVE, ABBY