DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm 63. My wife is 53. We've been married for 25 years. I often get "funny" comments about our age difference, like "Oh, Darlene (my wife), who's the old guy with you? Ha ha."

I'm still young-looking. I often get comments that I don't look my age. I'm 5-foot-11 and weigh 185 pounds. I run half-marathons. So I'm in good shape. Please, how do I respond to such harsh comments?

GENTLE READER: "Darlene?! Are you seeing an older man?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Many of us who use drive-thrus regularly are often on our way to work. Unfortunately, we often end up behind someone who has placed an order for at least a dozen people. This situation tends to defeat the purpose of the drive-thru and renders the term "fast food" an oxymoron.

People who need to feed a whole lot of people and don't have time to cook should go to a supermarket delicatessen. They will probably save money that way, and the rest of us will save time. Please help me get my message out to the public.

GENTLE READER: And what would that message be? No fast food for parties over 4? Or 6? It is always frustrating to be delayed in line, especially when there is a promise of speed right there in the name. (But then again, so is the word "food," and Miss Manners would not presume to regulate that notion, either.)

Unfortunately, one can't make specific decrees as to the size and quality of a party who is only asking for their own right to the same service as you. Or make recommendations as to how they would be better served.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend sneezed in my direction at dinner, with my plate of food in the target zone. Although he apologized, I was horrified about eating the food, but also did not want to embarrass him or make him feel bad.

I ate it, rather than ask for a replacement. (Yuck!) What would have been a polite way to avoid consuming his germs?

GENTLE READER: Yuck indeed. Miss Manners commends your valiancy -- and iron stomach. Your reaction goes beyond any reasonable expectation of good manners.

But she agrees that it would be difficult to come up with an excuse for asking for the food to be replaced without embarrassing your friend. It would have been polite for your friend to have done so on your behalf.

In lieu of that, however, you could have discreetly stopped eating and politely eschewed any questions as to why -- or said that you yourself weren't feeling well. Surely not an inaccurate statement, given the circumstances.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it ever proper to ask who else will be attending a party?

GENTLE READER: Not before accepting the invitation. That would be tantamount to asking whether it would be worth one's while to attend.

But afterward, Miss Manners can offer you the excuse of wanting to know if there is anyone attending who might want -- or offer -- a ride.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In a box of candy that has paper holders, do you take the wrapper and candy, or do you just take the candy and leave the wrapper?

GENTLE READER: Take the paper, as it will reduce the necessity to lick your fingers later. Miss Manners says this on practical, more than etiquette, grounds because she assumes that the chocolate will be more correctly dressed (meaning, in this case, undressed) at a formal function.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a pet peeve that I would like to call my generation's attention to. When I show you a picture on my cellphone, I mean for you to see ONLY the picture that I carefully selected.

I am not giving you permission to scroll left and right in search of other pictures, related or otherwise. If I want to show you another, then I will scroll for you. It isn't that I have incriminating evidence on my phone, but I don't appreciate an invasion of my privacy.

Should I just firmly hold on to my own phone when a friend wants a closer look from now on? How would you suggest handling people who think your phone pictures are a public album? By the way, this has happened a number of times with different people, and was not an isolated event.

GENTLE READER: In the days of wallet photos, it was easy to take a baby picture out and hand it to a friend for admiration without running the risk that he would help himself to your cash. Technology has now improved our lives to the point that he can also read your correspondence, check your schedule, and find out what you have been reading.

Miss Manners agrees that handing over a cellphone should not be taken as an invitation to shop, but she also understands your friends' confusion, and suggests that you retain possession. The same device can be used to send the picture in question -- and only the picture in question -- to your friend's phone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper or good manners that, when a person is complimented, they return the favor and find something complimentary to say back?

GENTLE READER: As the polite version of the schoolyard retort "You're another"?

Generally, it looks too much like repaying a debt before it can accumulate interest. Miss Manners recommends letting the conversation go on a bit after thanking the complimenter, and then finding something quite different to praise.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The private golf club where I work requires that associates address members as Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr. Surname. Quite often, the member will ask me to call him or her by their given name.

How do I respond professionally without falling back on "It is a job requirement"?

GENTLE READER: The sad part is that those who put you in this embarrassing predicament believe that they are flattering you. But what they are really doing is flattering themselves -- partly that they are being egalitarian, and mostly that they are too young to be addressed formally.

The easiest response is simply to say, "It's against the club rules." But if you don't want to do that, Miss Manners suggests saying politely, "If we meet socially, of course, but not on the job."

This is a quiet way of exposing the fake egalitarianism, because the member is unlikely to ask you to the bar for a drink after your shift. For good measure, you might add "sir" or "madam" to the statement.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it socially acceptable for someone to have a benefit and ask people to donate to their college education?

GENTLE READER: Apparently there are a lot of social circles composed of those who are eager to pay one another's bills. Miss Manners has never met a person like that, but she often hears from those who plan such events, and they are clearly under the impression that their acquaintances -- and, indeed, strangers, whom they hope to reach electronically -- are clamoring to do so.

The best way to judge the acceptability of such a request is to ask yourself how you would react upon receiving it. Would you be charmed to be invited to pay someone else's college tuition?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a midsized department, where everyone has their own office. Often, people will bring in all kinds of treats. When these are placed in a common space, this is wonderful. However, occasionally someone will actually go from office to office, offering the goodies.

What should one do if one does not wish to partake of said treats? I am afraid of refusing for fear of offending, yet do not like the idea of taking the treat and then throwing it out.

Sometimes, actually quite often, I enjoy indulging in these goodies. But sometimes they are not on my "favorites" list, and I would rather pass. Several of us in the office have this problem. What is the best way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: What business are you in, Miss Manners wonders, where the employees might be emotionally damaged if someone declined having one of their cookies?

The phrase you are searching for is "No, thank you." Expanded, if the person lingers, it would be "They look delicious, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass this time." In the unlikely event that this brings on a torrent of tears, your next inquiry would be to find out what else is wrong.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)