DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude for neighbors to use my driveway to turn around in? I was taught to find another way to turn my car around when necessary.

Two of my neighbors think nothing of pulling well into my short little driveway to maneuver their vehicles. One has a pickup truck and pulls into my driveway, halfway up or more, in order to more easily back the truck into their own driveway across the street.

One day, I was standing in my driveway, talking on my phone while I awaited a delivery. Suddenly I noticed the neighbor stopped in the road, waving me to move out of my own driveway so she could turn around in it! (I performed a maneuver I learned from Miss Manners: assumed a vague and uncomprehending look and went back to my phone call.)

I am offended by their behavior and even find it somewhat threatening to the peaceful enjoyment of my tiny home. But do I need to let it go? What does Miss Manners suggest?

GENTLE READER: If every action were either absolutely right or absolutely wrong, Miss Manners could be replaced by a traffic officer.

Whatever the law may say, etiquette recognizes that sometimes it may be necessary, or at least convenient, to use a small part of a driveway to maneuver. But this does not excuse the driver from acknowledging the imposition and the courtesy extended (albeit unknowingly).

If the owner is present, a driver can ask permission; if not, she should minimize the intrusion by being slow enough not to frighten the dog but fast enough not to constitute an extended stay.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years ago, I met a man who I later learned was a well-known artist. We dated briefly, and he sent me an oil painting at one point. While I was touched by the gift, I don't like the painting and have never hung it up.

We are still friendly in a distant way (exchanging holiday texts), and while I know I could sell his painting for a lot of money, the fact that it was a gift gives me pause. So does the slight possibility that he might find out it was for sale.

I have considered asking him if I could trade the painting for one I like better, but that seems rude. It doesn't do me any good to have a painting taking up space in my garage.

I am not in difficult financial straits, but I could put the money from the sale toward a more secure retirement. I'm not sure what to do.

GENTLE READER: Although she is not an art appraiser, Miss Manners would have thought that delaying any sale until retirement could solve both the etiquette and the financial problem. By then, the artist, if he does learn of the sale, will believe that you kept it for years (not knowing where). You and he may no longer be in touch at that point. And perhaps the painting will increase in value at least as quickly as your 401(k).

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a teenager, my hair turned prematurely white and gray, and I dyed it for many years. In my late 30s, I decided to stop using dye and embrace the natural color.

Because the color is unusual on someone my age, and because I wear my hair in an interesting short hairstyle, I receive many compliments. I feel that responding to a compliment with a hearty "Thank you! That really made my day!" is a proper response.

However, I was told by a friend that I should offer my own compliment to the giver in return. This seems insincere, considering that the person who approached me had time to admire something and formulate an opinion, whereas I would have to do the same instantly. What do you think?

Also, the opposite comment I often receive is, "I could never go gray; I would feel too old!" Do you have a witty response?

GENTLE READER: "Don't you hope to grow old?" Say this in a pitying tone, as if you had been told the person has a fatal disease.

The response, Miss Manners is aware, will be an embarrassed, "Yes, but not yet." However, the point will have been made about the futility, not to say the idiocy, of age denial. And by the way, there is nothing as obviously aging as denying one's age.

Besides, have these people never seen portraits of 18th-century ladies and gentlemen, who powdered their hair white or wore white wigs because the effect was so flattering?

That is why you are also getting compliments, to which you are responding properly. Although one should be generous in issuing compliments, an immediate return compliment sounds forced -- the polite equivalent of "Well, you're another."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My granddaughter is planning her wedding for next summer. I found what I consider the perfect dress, but my granddaughter is upset because the dress is white and purple, with a purple duster jacket. She stated that only the bride should wear white.

I certainly don't want to commit a faux pas, but the dress is beautiful, complements her wedding colors and is not solid white. Should I look for a different dress, or is it OK to wear this one, of course with the duster? It fits me perfectly and certainly won't upstage the bride.

GENTLE READER: But your granddaughter is worried that you might upstage her? Or that people will think that you are the bride? Does she have enough good sense to contract a marriage?

Yes, yes, Miss Manners knows that your granddaughter is only diving into Bridal Crazy Land, so perhaps the condition is temporary. If you had selected a long, lacy, all-white dress with a train, perhaps she should have been concerned. But a white background for a purple design is not a white dress.

Perhaps you could calm her by keeping the purple duster on during the ceremony so as not to confuse the officiant about who is getting married. Or the bridegroom, for that matter.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not a person of stature nor wealth. My home is modest in size, and it does not have a place to sit and eat other than the kitchen table. However, I do have space outdoors that is quite comfortable with tables and chairs.

I inherited silver and china (from 1886) that nobody else in the family wanted, and I would like to use it rather than have it sit in a box. It seems like the china and silver are begging to come out!

My desire is to reintroduce the bygone stylish ladies' luncheon into my life and the life of ladies in the neighborhood, should they be gracious enough to accept my invitations. How does one do that when blessed with inherited silver and china, but not much else?

I do enjoy hosting casual backyard barbecues, but I would like an excuse to bring out the silver and china sometimes. In my desire to host an event where the food is served on something other than paper plates, I don't want to come across as trying to belong to a social status that I do not.

If I organized a ladies' luncheon, would I come across as a pathetic, mature woman wanting to play tea party?

Where do I start? Is it even possible? Should I accept my non-glamorous lot in life for what it is, keeping my china and silver in boxes with hopes that one of my children will be able to use it someday? Should I just use it for everyday life?

GENTLE READER: Yes, use it every day. This is equipment for eating, not stage props for a life you don't yet lead.

Miss Manners wants you to get used to enjoying your inheritance instead of putting it away for future generations who may or may not appreciate it. (Usually that skips a generation, but you can't count on it.)

There is no reason not to use these things at your barbecue parties, where sturdier implements than plastic and paper should be appreciated. There is also no reason not to give somewhat more formal ladies' luncheons, as long as you think your guests will enjoy that -- and you have rid yourself of the self-consciousness of thinking that you are showing off.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a protocol for when you invite a person to various occasions three times, and the guest always says yes, but does not attend?

Do you stop inviting the person out of courtesy? After three occasions, if the person always declines, do you not bother inviting them anymore?

GENTLE READER: Yes, stop issuing invitations to this person.

To issue a fourth invitation to someone who has declined three previous ones is considered social persecution. Anyone who would love to see you but is madly busy or popular will then presumably issue an invitation to you.

Perhaps accepting and then not appearing is not exactly persecution, but it is something like that for the poor host.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)